THE DECLINE IN PUBLIC MORALITY . . .

A man walks out of a bar, swaying back and forth with a key in his hand.
A cop on the beat sees him and approaches.
"Can I help you, fella?" asks the cop.
"Yes! Somebody stole my car!" the guy replies.
The cop asks, "Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It was at the end of this key!" he replies.

At this point, the cop looks down and sees the guy's penis hanging out of his trousers.
So he asks him, "Hey buddy, are you aware that you're exposing yourself?"

Guy looks down sadly and moans, "Oh God.... they got my girlfriend too!"