insecure!

What do you do when you're not with him?

To lose someone after a thirteen month relationship must be the personification of torture.

I feel for you, my child.


Be brave.

i dont do anything when im not with him just stayhome and wait 4 him to come bak

That's kinda what I suspected, and that's exactly what you can work on.

DON'T JUST HANG AROUND WAITING FOR HIM TO COME BACK!

Do your own thing. Have fun at home, or go do something fun, or hang out with friends -- focus on yourself, get other things going on in your brain instead of the himhimhimhimhim neverending loop.

When that is taken care of, you'll be a lot more secure.

yeah i no thats wat i have to do, but i just find it to be hard i hate myself for bein like this

Find yourself a hobby.

Whatever you like doing!

Running
Sewing
Swimming
Unicycling
Diving
Football
Cooking
Photography
Badminton
or whatever

Then find likewise minded people or a club to join.
Don't look for them online, find them in real life.
Then spend some time every week on your hobby (or several of them) without your boyfriend.

What do you do for work?

i am a hairdresser

Do you ever go out with colleagues?

Do you have friends?

First of all, YOU'RE NINETEEN!!!! What are you even doing in a serious relationship? You're just way too young and immature (and that goes for all 19 year olds, not just you). You should be dating around and experiencing life, not pretending to be Sylvia Plath.

Bah! Maybe the truism is right-- youth IS wasted on the young!

A hairdresser - that's cool. So you are set in your work then?

What do you do in your spare time? Do you have a few girl friends you can go out and have some laughs with?

It's just a matter of refocusing your attention back to the important things in life. Sure, it's nice having a bf, but it definetly isn't the end of the world even if it doesn't work out.

Have such a full life that you are not left with nothing to do when he is gone.

kaylamaree - Welcome to A2K!

It is very important for a woman to define herself independently. She needs to have a life of her own, friends and interests, independent of any romantic relationships. Apparently, you are having difficulty with that.

A woman whose life revolves around a man is a woman who is looking for trouble. The balance of power is such that she becomes very vulnerable, and is open to abuse of all sorts.

I am not saying that this is what is happening in your relationship. Then again, maybe I am. Your boyfriend is not abusing you, but your are abusing YOURSELF, by allowing your happiness to be defined by what your bf does or does not do.

You need to learn why this is happening. At your age, if this is the characteristic method of your relating to men.................being scared to death that he will leave you, and that you will be left with nothing, you are treading on a slippery slope. Women who relate like this often attract men who will attempt to control and abuse them.

You need to discover what is unique about yourself, and work on that. You need to build a life for yourself, and to develop a sense of self.

You are very young, and that may be part of the problem. But you need to see your reaction as a red flag, and work to overcome your feelings of inadequacy.