Have i wasted 5 years of my life?

Get yourself a motorcycle and a dog. Life doesn't change, but is easier to take when you have fun toys and real freinds.

Does your old college/university have any career counselling center?

I spent my first fifteen years of work in a medical field, and another bunch of years doing art and landscape architecture. Given my relative abilities in these, I've been happier doing landscape architecture, which is field that involves some technical understanding - similar to regular building architecture - and some creative artistry.

Education isn't really wasted, even if you leave science as a career... it's all additive. Money is a problem for many of us, especially if you have loans to pay off.

I rarely post on the 'need advice' threads, don't consider myself qualified...

But when I saw this, I just had to write with my gut instincts:

Just leave denthavin...

A masters is something you can come back to. Is there no-one at all in your family you can talk to? If they love you they will understand...

You have already fulfilled their expectations.

It sounds like you are wrecking your health - for what? More letters after your name? It's time to take a deep breath and make a decision - and stick to it!

The level of stress you are experiencing WILL affect your health eventually, just the fact that you need to take added stimulants to get you through the long day, says everything about you situation...

I feel for you - I'm sure you want to 'do the right thing', but don't neglect the clear message your body is giving you... enough

Take care of yourself.

x

Thanks for the advice folks. Yeah it seems like it's time to look into something else. I'm gonna talk to my family and see how it goes. I just hope they don't feel I'm letting them down.

I never even thought of talking to the careers counselor here, (I'm doing the master at the same college i did undergrad).

I'll probably stick with it until I can find something different.

Oh and I have a bike, need to get a dog though.

Thanks everyone.

There you go; half a kit is not much better than no kit at all

denthavin I don't think it's been a waste. Well it doesn't have to be. You can glean something good off of every experience in life, if you want to that is. Ok, so you've decided which direction you don't want to go now. That's actually a step in the right direction. So it's time to decide what direction you do want to go. But it's not necessarily an overnight decision. I would take a look at the things I like to do, I want to do, and then kind of go from there. Seek advice from others, but remember this is your decision not theirs. Don't exhaust yourself thinking about what you've done wrong, or that you made a mistake. Take what you've learned from this experience and head in another direction, and like timber said, have some fun in the process.

Re: Have i wasted 5 years of my life?



Did you hate it before you began the research masters?


Did you like the stuff before then?

What sort of career were you thinking about when you started studying biology?

A large percentage of people end up doing jobs that are very different from the degrees they studied in college.

If you think of it as 4 years of exercising your brain so it can cope with mental gymnastics and not as a specific subject/area-only training then it should not be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You have gone through 4 years of college. College is as much about learning HOW to use your brain as it is about the particular subject(s) you study. Now you know how to study, learn, research, develop, adapt, put forth the effort, organize yourself, adapt to various circumstances and perhaps think up or improve ideas. THIS is what is going to be the sum of your 4 years of learning. Biology was the avenue to get your mind to this advanced place.

As for the 18 months of work experience. It appears to have shown you that the particular job (what was it?) is not to your liking. That is what life is all about - experiencing and picking/choosing those things that you like/need and those that you don't. 18 months is not a long period and you can start fresh, if you want to, elsewhere. If you are truly miserable and absolutely HATE this arena that you find yourself in, please do something about it NOW. Don't spend the next 40 years of your life doing a job you detest, or don't at least have some smidgeon of pleasure or satisfaction from. It is not necessary and so not worth it.

I wouldn't beat yourself up over it - you are not a failure and there is nothing wrong with changing your mind, at any time, and I don't think your family would like to think of you being miserable about it either. If they seem disappointed, realize that they are not you, and will get over it. It's not the worst thing in the world.

You need to feel more confident in YOU. You are smart, intelligent and a go-getter. You survived 4 years of college, studying a not-insignificant subject, and you have been gainfully employed since. Of course your family is proud, and rightly so. You say you can't talk to them about it, but I wonder. Are you the one who has such high standards for yourself or would you family actually be very understanding and perhaps a little relieved that you are not flying so high that they would not be able to keep up with you.

Instead of talking to them about your insecurities, spend some time thinking about other things you would like to try, map out a plan for yourself, and then go talk to your folks. When you sound confident and sure of yourself, they will not doubt your ability to get to where you want to go and disappointment will not be a factor.

Superb post, Heeven. All true, and very well expressed.

Well thanks woman!

I've just realized the poster is from Limerick - a fellow countryman/woman! Here's what to do - go to the pub and tell everyone in earshot your issues and I swear they will come up with dozens of solutions. You don't need psychiatrists in Ireland - just yap about your problems in a pub and the characters will either make you piss your pants laughing, trying to outdo you and your problems, or they will tell the whole town and then everyone knows ... so no more problem!

That does it. I'm moving to Ireland. :wink:

Denthavin, I take it from your posts that you are quite clear that it is the subject in general that doesn't suit you, and not just your particular job. Is this correct? Or do you just need to find a different way to use your degree?

Let's see - I think I'm on career number 4 (or is it 5?). I have a four year degree from an excellent university, I'm short a handful of credits before I qualify for an MFA and I slogged through a bunch of courses before I realized I was not MBA material. I've also studied to be a chef and an architect. All water (and money) under the bridge. I don't consider any of it a waste and it all lead to my current business.

I don't know why we expect young people to pick a career early in their life and spend the next 40 or so years doing the same thing. We change as we mature and explore the world. We discover new things we might not have even known about in our teens and 20's. Take risks, learn new stuff, build on the old skills. It would only be a waste to stay in a field long after you know it is not the right one for you. Good luck and happy hunting.

More agreement from me...

Time spent doing anything that makes you miserable is wasted and time is so precious. You're allowed to change your mind. Who knows what career you will truly enjoy until you try it?

x

All of the advice so far has been terrific but I hesitate to chime in with the notion of just giving up on your master's degree. It's the "14 hour days" that are bothering me. It sounds like you have been researching/studying/writing to the exclusion of all else, including fun. My suggestion would be to take a temporary break before giving up entirely. Hop on that bike, borrow a dog and maybe hoist a few in a pub known for its intelligent patrons. If after a few days the thought of returning to research and writing makes you crazy then definitely rethink the direction you want to go with your life. It's a cliche but true -- life really is too short to be miserable.

I've spent several miserable times at work over the years. I've resolved it different ways.
Once I worked in a lab I started (under university department) for many hours a day, and I wasn't doing what I thought I wanted to do when I studied. I moved to another lab, a clinical one that time. That was sort of fun, but I wasn't learning a lot and decided to go back and see if I could find something else at the university. My application was intercepted, apparently when what was then called Personnel checked me out with the old group, and the old group wanted me back, and I spent some years developing a research lab with a research doc.

At some point, rather unrelated, I thought, to my job satisfaction - I liked my job quite a bit - more a matter of disappointment when a romance didn't work out - I started taking drawing classes in the evening. I really liked those, and took more and more studio art classes at night. Then I got a call asking if I'd like to come work in a new lab. I said yes, if I could work for fewer hours - thinking I could do more art. I got the job on the phone, and changed to clinical lab work..

Ended up hating that job. No windows, high stress. Stayed just about five years. Quit, because I had just started taking landscape architecture classes at night, and decided to try to find work in my new field of interest.

Spent almost 4 more years going to school at night, homework in the wee hours, and working in different jobs.
In one, I hired on as researcher and became coordinator, with 25 or so people under my, er, purview, including many with Masters degrees in architecture, or arch students. I ended up hating that job, not for the job, but because the two directors of the project were simply insane. But I stayed, since I was hired to do it, and it was a project with an endpoint.
At the end, I was awake three days straight hanging a museum show. Not a success, since one of the directors had failed to show up and do her 25%. Well, never mind. Anyway, I've at least one life long friend from that experience, although not one of the directors. It was good for the resume.

Then I got a job for a old time landscape architect. You have to intern under a licensed land arch to qualify for boards. Turned out we had a pay misunderstanding. I accepted what I thought was 6.50 an hour and he meant 3.25. This was in the early eighties, and even then that was way low. I walked after 13 days. This was during a big construction recession. I called forty landarch offices in the metropolitan area and had lots of nice conversations. Finally got hired on in one part time. Became full time in a couple of weeks. Did that while still going to school at night through those four years, and then studied for my boards, which I took after another two. Liked the work a lot, except for certain aspects of multiple residential design, having to do with practices I could describe today as being un-ecologically sound, and, on top of that, boring.

Kept painting all the time, in my spare time.
Took a trip to italy. Got very interested in it, to put it mildly. Researched piazzas. Lectured on piazzas...
Did a lot of paintings about italy.

Started my own practice in landcape architecture. Got a divorce, sadly.
Moved north, became partner in a land design business and an art gallery business, and still painted, had a show of my own once a year, which sometimes sold well. Money low, as none of this was bringing in whole bundles of cash, I moved to New Mexico recently.
I'm of retirement age, have low income, am pretty happy with what I've experienced. Among other things, I am rarely bored. I don't understand boredom.

Contented as I am with the layers of experience I've had and continuing to be curious about many subjects, I have a regret, and that is that I for so long felt uninterested in the world of business. I was always quite stupid about money... buying cars instead of property, for example, in the times I had average middle class income.

I haven't mentioned, in all this, the role of love and appreciation of beauty, nature, family, friendship, and whatever view you work out for religion and philosophy. Sometimes you will be or feel you are without love, or friends, or a sustaining philosophy - and sometimes you will feel you have all of those. But first have yourself.


Green Witch and I have a lot in common. I'm older, she's undoubtedly smarter in business. I suspect we share a lot of enthusiasms.

If you've wasted anything, its only the four months from when you started working on the Master's Degree until the present. I'd prefer to view those four months as very well spent. Knowing what you do not want to do is equally important to knowing what you do want to do.

If you only had four months to go to finish the Master's, I'd say go ahead and finish it. But since you are only four months into it, then I'd advise you to walk away and don't look back.

Having a Bachelor's Degree in anything is a wonderful first step. Now decide what you do enjoy doing, and start looking around for a job somehow connected to it - hopefully in an area you want to live and paying a salary you can live on.

Everyone thank you so much for your help. When I joined this forum I didn't expect much but instead I have been given a fantastic wealth of advice. I really appreciate it and it has helped me so much.

To give you an update i talked to my family about it and they said they had known it was coming for a few weeks. They said they just want me to be happy and will support any decision I make.

So now I'm thinking about what I want to do next. I have a few days off work due to an accident while driving home on wednesday night so I have time to think.

Excellent.