How could I have held onto Skye???? PLEASE HELP!!!

Wow, this is a really long post! Are Ian and Skye the same person?

Your English is pretty good for someone who has had only 5 hours
of schooling per week. Plus your story sounds quite unbelievable (it probably is).

So, you haven't seen this guy in, um, 5? 6? years and sent a note, uninvited and out of the blue, asking him out and he didn't respond? Er, what were you expecting would be the result of that? How would you behave if the situation were reversed?

As for running into this person (and, uh, how are you going to college if you didn't finish High School? Are you taking equivalency or are you going to get by, just hoping that college will accept you -- hint -- it doesn't work that way), surely you and he are not the only people in those schools. You won't constantly run into him. If you do, say hello like a normal person and forget about it. Really. You're just going nuts about the initial meeting and, dollars to donuts, he's not anywhere near as affected as you seem to be. Let it happen, because I'm sure nothing will happen and perhaps your face will redden briefly and then you'll be wondering why you agonized over this for so long.

I have also seen your posts about your grandmother and I strongly suspect that you live in a world where you continually seek something outside of your regular, mundane life, whether that is contact with the dead or love and acceptance from a boy who barely knows you and does not hang onto this long-term fantasy in any manner. Not like you do. He has turned into some sort of a perfect godlike unattainable outsider, but I bet you anything that he's not. I bet he gets acne, poor grades (perhaps not all the time), stains his clothes on occasion, may have trouble learning to drive or do expository writing or whatever, just like you. And I'm not picking on you, or on him. It's just, he's a typical person but, since you have not been around him, he has grown in your estimation into Perfect Unattainable SuperTeen. And he's not. I guarantee that.