An open letter to my left had none toe.

Dearest left had none toe,

We've been together for a long time and you know how much I love you. From the first time I saw you I thought you were adorable, so little and rosy and new. We've had some good, even great, times together but things have changed and I'm just not sure that we're meant to be together anymore.

I know you're bitter and I know you have good reason to be. The other toes went shopping or enjoyed roast beef or played or relaxed at home while you had none. I don't blame you for hating the world.

I remember the last time you were truly happy -- that time in Chicago where we looked to rent an apartment in the old Dr. Scholls shoe factory. You really felt like you had found the perfect home but alas, construction was still going on and I just couldn't wait to put a roof over my head. I'm selfish like that. I'm sorry.

Since then you've tried really hard to be happy. I know I haven't always been kind. I chose jobs that demanded a lot of you. I enjoyed walking and that just wasn't fair. But I did try to make you happy. I always brought you fresh Converse and I never asked you to whore yourself in heels. I washed you and patted you dry, sweet little had none toe.
I loved you. I really did.

But the last year has been hard. You're sick. I know! I know I shouldn't blame you. It really is all my fault and I've tried to help you but nothing seems to work. All your life you've had none and now..... now......now....

<deep breath>

.... you've met her and you won't give her up. Your corn.

Yes I know about her. I know all about her. I've done everything in my power to get rid of her but she just won't go away. Do you really love her so much that you can't give her up? Not even for me? Please, I'm begging you. I can't live like this. I can't.

I try to talk to people about her and they just laugh. They think it should be easy for me to get rid of her and I keep trying but she just keeps coming back. I don't even have to see her to know she's there.

I'm giving you one last chance my darling little had none toe. I'm trying to get rid of her once again but if she won't go away or if she tries to come back, it's over between us.

I've talked to my doctor and she says our separation could leave me unbalanced but I know that someday I will learn to once again stand on my own two feet. I know that I would miss you but you've just become too painful. If you let her go I promise to pamper you and spoil you rotten because I do still love you.

Love always,

boomerang