The Clever Woman Driver

The clever woman driver

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looked at the woman and slowly backed away to his car and called for back up. Within minutes, five police cars circle the woman and a senior officer slowly approached the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, step out of your vehicle please!
Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: The officer told me that you stole this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opened the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer was quite stunned.

Officer 2: The officer claimed that you do not have a driver's license.
The woman dug into her handbag, pulled out a clutch purse and handed it to the officer. The officer snapped open the clutch purse and examined the license. He looked quite puzzled.

Officer 2: I must admit, ma'am, that I'm confused; the officer told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered the owner.

Woman: I suppose the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.