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Tue 26 Sep, 2006 08:10 pm
I just found out about this. Does Chai have any idea? My understanding is that her husband goes to Twisty Cones (or something like that) every night under the pretense of procuring an ice cream cone, but is, in actuality, banging the hell out of someone like osso or Stray Cat in the back parking lot.
He nailed dlowan, Calamity Jane, Eva, and msolga one night last week and the entire time he was eating his ice cream cone with a cold indifference as the cries of the women carried through the night.
One night as I walked by Twisty Cones I happened to see Chai's husband (I believe his name is Wally) and his latest conquest (boomer) sitting on a picnic table, talking to each other.
Boomer said, "I believe I love you, Wally, and I am much younger than Chai Tea. Would you leave her for me, Wally? Would you dump that old broad so we can continue to roll around in the van on a night basis?"
Wally set his cone down for a second and said, "I'm sorry, boomer, but you would never be able to take care of that growth on my back that needs nightly scratching. Nor would you wield a scissors so proficiently and Chai, almost like Edward Scissorhands, as she clips my ear hair and sings that little tune. I'm comfortable with Chai, boomer, and will continue to bang you and the rest of the A2K women merely for my own selfish pleasure. Give me some sugar, baby."
I continued on my walk and could hear boomer sobbing until I turned the corner.
I thought of Chai sitting at home, leafing through the latest edition of Field and Stream, totally unaware of the affairs of her husband.
And I begin to cry.
Let's face it, Gus.
Wally it too much man for just one woman!
I'm sure Chai will understand!
Certainly not in the parking lot.
... while eating icecream, too, osso!
I have no idea what rabbit you speak of, but certainly no wally has "nailed" dlowan.
Personally, I never kiss anyone after eating ice cream. Nothing is worse than a cold tongue kiss.
(Hey Gus, Does Twisty Cone have the soft vanilla ice cream with the kind of strawberry syrup you can pour on it and it turns into a hard shell? I love that stuff and none of our local ice cream places have it. )
dlowan wrote:I have no idea what rabbit you speak of, but certainly no wally has "nailed" dlowan.
"Nailed"?
That was the actual term used?
(I should read more slowly!)
Wash your mouth, Gus!
Green Witch wrote:Personally, I never kiss anyone after eating ice cream. Nothing is worse than a cold tongue kiss.
(Hey Gus, Does Twisty Cone have the soft vanilla ice cream with the kind of strawberry syrup you can pour on it and it turns into a hard shell? I love that stuff and none of our local ice cream places have it. )
I know nothing of the place, Green Witch, except that it is the place where Wally carries on his sordid affairs. But there did appear to be some sort of colorful shell on boomer's cone, and, upon reflection, I believe it may have been strawberry.
<Gus wanders off to smoke more hosta>
msolga wrote:dlowan wrote:I have no idea what rabbit you speak of, but certainly no wally has "nailed" dlowan.
"Nailed"?
That was the actual term used?
(I should read more slowly!)
Wash your mouth, Gus!
I'm not sure what "nailed" means in Australia, msolga, but here it is used quite often, by both men and women, in a most enduring and comfortable tone.
Would you please nail me again, honey?
I believe I shall nail Cindy tonight
See? Harmless.
Did Wally tell you he nailed me? That son-of-a-b.....
Sure, I met him down at the Creamy Twisties last week. He called and asked me to meet him there. He sounded desperate, so naturally I went. I mean, anything for my friend Chai's husband. Turns out he wanted to borrow money from me to pay off some gambling debt that Chai doesn't know about. I turned him down, and he got angry. He swore he'd get back at me.
So THIS is how he's gonna do it? Making up lies about me?
Well, I'll show HIM!
(running off to tell Chai about the gambling debt....)
Wally hangs out with the ladies:
gee, this is really funny....there must be 2 people named Chai on A2K.
I sure feel sorry for the other one. You'd think she'd suspect something and go kick some ass.
people can be so dense.
Denial always comes to the forefront in these situations.
psst Chai, isn't this your husband with SheWolf and Eva? They all look very guilty if you ask me:
especially shewolf....look at her making those big innocent eyes.
she's a slut.
Notice the body language, Chai?
Okay, okay, I confess. Wally came on to me. I let him buy me a double scoop of strawberry-kiwi ice cream, but that's it. Guys like him scare me. He spent the whole time talking about how he needed to borrow $1,700 to cover "late fees"...some bookie named B. Buster, I think. (Gives me the shivers.)
I, on the other hand, am still waiting. What am I worse? Why was I not nailed by Wally? I feel offended. It seems that every other woman had her spin with Wally except for me.
I am shocked, Gus.
For a man to disclose the secrets of another man....
You really do live in a swamp!
Yes, this is very un-dudelike behavior.
What the hell are you guys talking about? Did you not read what I wrote?
Wally is banging EVERY woman here! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!! (except dag, but only because she's been out of town and out of reach of his pulsating appendage)
So what does that leave for us? NOTHING!
I still have my animals, so I'm ok for now, but you guys, 2PacksAday and wandeljw, what will you do?
Ask yourself that question before you begin to berate me concerning the ethics of men.
I'm just trying to help you fockers out by disclosing Wally's reign of sexual terror and you have the audacity to question me.
I hope you bastards, the both of you, suffer interminably from the lack of a woman's touch.
Then, when you're writhing in pain and curled up in the fetal position you will mutter the words, "Why didn't I listen to Gus? Why did I not heed the words of the capybara farmer?"
You made you bed, you bastards.
Sleep in it.
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