happily ever after??

Sure it looks silly when you hear/say or read it with a fairy tale way of looking at things.

If you look at "happily ever after" as if you are living in continual bliss with butterflies and hearts floating around your head, you're setting yourself up for almost immediate disappointment.

That feeling of bliss is called limerence.


The reality of a marriage that lasts is....They lived (and worked) happily (together) for all their days after.

One can certainly be happy while at the same time dealing with lifes challenges.

Too bad more people don't realize the truth in that.

My wife and I each have our bad days and our tough issues to work out, but in the end we have each other to turn to for support and we have a warm and happy life which those mundane outside troubles just can't touch. It's something I've never experienced before and it's something I can't imagine will change.

To me, that's what "happily ever after" means.

blacksmithn, do you have a brother?

PS, congratulations, do I understand correctly that you are newly wed?

I do have a brother, but he's happily married. Sorry!

Yep, married on July 29th. But from the moment we met, it was as if we'd known each other for years. It's really incredible.

And to think we met on the internet.

yes if the two people is newly wed there is so much passionate to give and anything. but dont know if the married is 10-20 years older

charm, did you not read my post?

I speak from experience.

you do not marry someone with the goal to change them into something that will make you happy.

first you are happy with yourself, then you find a person happy with themselves, and both of you let that person be themselves.

I am more passionate about the way I feel about my husband than the day we met, because we have gone through so much together. Real passion doesn't depend on the amount of hair you still have, or if you can stay up until all hours doing you know what. He feels the same about me. We are full partners in everything we do.

How old are you, if I may ask charmed?

That would help me see the perspective you are coming from.

good for you chai tea that you have a woderful marriage and still have passionate. because not all marriages has still thier passion most specially when it comes to a longer years of marriage.

anyway how long you been to married with your man? have kids yet?

i am 25 yrs this coming nov and married almost 3 yrs now.

Wow, the voice of experience!

charm, I'm not at all sure what you are trying to accomplish with this thread.

You state that "happily ever after" sounds ridiculous to you.

I opine that that does happen with realism, maturity, give and take, growth and hard work. Which BTW none of which takes away from happiness.

You essentially come back with....yeah, but all marriages aren't like that.

So.....what's your point. You are correct, all marriages are not like that. So?

Many marriages are, and many more would be if it was realized that it is like anything else that lives. It needs nuturing and care to grow and stay healthy.

How long have I been married to "my man"?

Well first, understand he is not "my man" anymore than I'm "his woman" I know you're saying that as slang, but it's important to realize that this person does not belong to you, or anyone.

If you're going to come back and post "well, that's great for you....but....." there really wasn't any point to you initial post. It would just be you saying "that's ridiculous"

How long have we been married?

13 years last January.
We have known each other for 19 years.

We had both been married before, but obviously we weren't with the right partner. Now, we are.

I'll be 48 in Dec.
He just turned 60.



Question for you charmed......What, in detail, is your definition of Passion?
Give examples as well.

I have a feeling our definitions are very different, so it would help to both have a common understanding.

chai tea,

what im trying to know is some defferents opinion of other people, that what it really means for them the words'' happly ever after'' and i think there is no harm for that question,if you find it not interesting or harmful question you have freedom not to do so.i have no one to force if someone doesn't want this tread.anyway you got a good point in your previous post. and sorry for my english grammar as in im not a native english speaker but i still learning though. but everyone has the right to speak up isn't it...

peace be with you..

i see.. thanks blacksmith of your good input..

Actually, I do find this topic very interesting, and of course there's no harm in the question, and you're not forcing me to do anything.

Well, you know what blacksmith, marty and I all think about happily ever after....

You've got no other takers it seems, so why not escalate the topic by finding out what your definition of "passion" is.

Me, I don't think one can live "happily ever after" without having passion for Something in their life.

What would cause sustainable passion in you, and how, and why?

"Happily ever after," is a mindset. It occurs as often irl as, "die a horrible death," does. Both are perceived realities. Both can last the eternity which occurs in one moment. Know that feeling when time is standing still? Eternity is there. I think it could be explained using quantum physics, and is the basis for explanations of how black holes work and how time machines might possibly work. If you have faith, all things are possible, including, "happily ever after." Of course, it would depend upon how you define "happily," as well as "ever after."