There's a lot of sentimentality going on here today! Must be the weather.
There's a bloody squirrel on the garage roof trying to eat a golf ball it must have picked up along the way. A crow is squawking from the TV antenna down at it, my dog is growling at both of them, and the feral cat is tucking into the dogs dinner whilst the enemy is pre-occupied.
I've just watched Lulu on that daft video, miming shout dressed like a bloody quaker! Don't mention the good old days please, they just didn't happen.
Steves blagging away about his old borstal and Spendi can't get his dick to work so he's claiming to have entered into a vow of celibacy, Who with?
Lord bloody Ellpus must be getting some stick from his piles and he's rabbiting on about digging up more fossils to enlighten us with. Leave it out matey, and get with it.
I've just seen a yankee bird on an FHM recording singing an old Nancy Sinatra number of These Boots Were Made for Walking. It makes Nancy's portrayal look like a romp round the convent.
Incidentally, three nuns have been sacked and defrocked from the local convent for doing press-ups in the rhubarb patch.
My secretary's going to St.Moritz for five days with her boyfriend and is showing me all sorts of dresses, skimpy's and shoes which she can't make up her mind about wearing or taking with her.
My wife phoned me up and asked me if her car needs any fuel putting in it
Inland revenue are breathing down my neck for more than their fair share of my earnings, and last months invoices from the garage, the utilities, the builders merchants, and the credit card companies have all been pushed into the mail box and landed on my desk.
Anybody fancy coming to Iraq with me for a few quiet days?