THE BRITISH THREAD

Throbbing at the prospect, maybe?

smorgsy wrote-



1- I don't know. I was once asked by a lady of some maturity (I was only 18) who I hardly knew to provide her with a fertilised egg so I can't be all that bad. Obviously I refrained. Someone once likened me to John Francome in his prime but it was one particular photograph they were referring to. I get Jesus now and then. Bloody hell-I better be careful.

2- Dark brown with a depth it is impossible to estimate.

3- Yes. Plenty. I must admit though that the tell-tale signs of weariness are apparent. I arrange my beard, bushy or spikey, according to the aesthetic tastes of my superiors.

My tips for hair care. Keep all chemicals off it. Wash in rainwater when possible and eat vegan. And it's a waste of time arguing with me about any of those. I eschew soap.

Speaking of horseflesh Lester Piggott, in that superb interview on Saturday, suggested Shirocco (?) as the answer in next Sunday's big race at Longchamps.

* The correct spelling smorgs is "jockey". A jocky is a fat lady's rider.

Jesus???


I'll fetch the hammer and bloody nails then!

You'll have to catch me first.

Jesus christ, superstar, how much bull-**** have you spread so far?

Makes the grass grow you know. The richer the bullshit the greener the grass.

You don't need any artificial fertiliser when I'm spreading bullshit. It's good stuff.

You missed your way Spendi, were you born in the early 40's?

Your dad must have come from Texas!

I know where the old man came from don't you worry.

And it is bad manners to enquire about someone's age.

Sounds like i hit the nail on the head with that one Jesus, did it hurt?

stinky wrote:



I once had a friend who decided not to wash her hair - said it was 'self cleansing' - she stank to high heaven after two weeks, she was shunned by staff and customers alike!




I can always rely on you!

Have you sorted out your comma yet?

x

I eschewed soap once. Made me cry. But I was only 3.

I'm just posting this to show how my photography is improving?

Nicely framed - don't you think?

I call this: A STUDY OF TWO SWANS IN CHORLTON WATER PARK - WITH GOLDEN NUGGETS FLOATING ON THE WATER, AND THE WRONG DATE.

Ellpus, can you help me with the date thingy?

Much obliged...

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Miss Fragrances of Heavenly Delight wrote-



I wash my hair every day but just in water.

I have heard of that though. I gather it goes away after a while when all the muck you have put on is finally got rid of.

Have I a problem with commas. My grammar tends to follow the spoken words which I can hear as I type. Commas are for quick snatchy breaths and longer intervals are for gulps. !'s are for gasps and ?'s for raised eyebrows.

Your photography is getting pretty good, sarahg.

I'll use the dog and bone later, to talk you through the date thing. Mine's a Konica, so it should be a similar procedure.

This one is called: THE PUSSY LANGUISHES.

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What?

It's the British thread!

I'm allowed the odd Benny hill moment/double entendre...

Our nation thrives on it, why it's at the heart of our very being, life without smut is no life!

x

THAT is funny!

sussy wrote:



Joking apart, spends...

Don't you need some kind of detergent to wash your hair of pullutants (particulates) from the filthy air? And bakky fumes? I don't think water alone would be enough. Maybe in a more clean atmosphere, but not in a city.

There are loads of 'natural' soaps...

We have been using soap (in some form) for yonks.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it made from young maidens piss?

I'd gladly oblige...


x

That pussies on my bed, btw...

Or should I say the lair of the smorgs...


x

Young maidens don't piss smoggy-head. They sprinkle.

Soap is horrible. I've seen it made.

Did you know chocolate is mainly lard?