THE BRITISH THREAD

nimh-

You should be a secret service agent. You are obviously adept at sussing out our deepest secrets.

We thought we had managed to hide our national point of vulnerability from the world but your keen observation linked to what is no doubt a very rare intelligence has exposed us for what we are.

You should write a book. I feel sure it would sell like warm, semi-dried shite pellets in a sewage works canteen on the night shift on Christmas Eve.

You'll make a fortune.

Like I said.

You masturbate, dontcha nimh?

Then come join our merry band of wankers!

If you can't stands the posts - stay outta the thread!

D'ya get me?

xxx

Do you guys never enjoy life?

I enjoy life all the time, francis...

xxx

(three kisses for you)

Thanks, Sarah, you precious Mancunian girl...

I'm going to work now francis - have a good day, or a good night...

Depending where in the world you are...

xxx

Like you, starting my working day.

Mornin' all.

Damp and squidgy in my region, today.

Won't make for a pleasant walk at all.

Anyway, you need to walk the dog...

There should be some interesting walks over the next week, methinks.

All those millionaire superstar golfers have jetted in to play the course just over the back from where I walk the dog. I woke up this morning, having forgotten all about it, only to look out the window and see a bloody great convoy of TV crew and equipment lorries making it's way down to our Rugby fields.
They usually use that when filming something in the area (East Enders, usually) but this time, there's bloody hundreds of 'em.

No doubt we'll have terrible trouble parking in the surrounding roads as well, because there's an estimated 4000 members of the public all coming from god knows where, just to see some men in silly trousers knock balls down holes.
Tiger's going to be playing. Whoopee!

Oh well, it's only for a week.........

I wasnt talking to you, Smorgs..

And how anyone could have taken my earlier "I'm so foreign I'm an alien" wisecrack as an attack, only God knows.

Relax, y'all. Except for those wankers that is.. they know who they are.

Nimh, and I'm being serious here, never take what smorgs says to heart straight away.
It is the British way, CERTAINLY the Manc/Liverpudlian way, to dive in with this sort of stuff as a reply.
I found it a bit shocking at first, 'cos I'm a softie southerner, but believe me, it's usually a term of affection when a Brit has an initial go at you. It means (usually) that you've been accepted into the ranks.

Only if it persists, and gets REALLY serious, do you need to re-evaluate the situation.

Basically, it's knock about humour at the raw end.

Take it as a compliment - she actually likes me, and has treated me in a far rougher way than this.

You'll understand, one day.

Still having fun folks?

Yes, actually we are DP.

How are you?

I hope you're having a good day, GD.

Could be better Lordy. But then, it could always be worse.

If you mix peach and black you get a sort of light brown.

what like beige?

I always find that jogging round the block naked, with a hot flannel in my mouth always cheers me up.

Gives the neighbours a good laugh as well.

I don't do jogging.