THE BRITISH THREAD

smorgsy-

I am quite interested in ladies' dress. It really is a fascinating subject. I have books about it.

If the "vast walk-in wardrobe" is full, as I presume it is, my advice is to not bother with a new top and thus avoid having to eat beans and the inevitable consequences which follow from such a dire course of action. All the items in the wardrobe were chosen originally to enhance your attractions one supposes and there ought to be no reason why they will not fulfill that function tonight. I imagine you look attractive in all of them or indeed in none of them.

You could slip into a few items and post the pictures and we could debate what you look best in and you could go to the do in that. I have in mind there the Theory of Large Groups. But please no jeans or trousers of any sort- they look terrible.

Dressing a Lady for an important occasion is a complex task. What needs to be borne in mind most of all is the perverted nature of the minds under whose critical scrutiny you will appear. At a 50th these will no doubt be of a mature disposition and somewhat jaded by the thongs and marrows of outrageous fortune. What you wear ought to hint at your own inner feelings and present triggers to the imagination of your more discerning observers. (Undiscerning observers being of no importance.)

I don't necessarily think that women are " vacuous wallet-spotters". Some wallet-spotters are quite intelligent I have found and not in the least vacuous. I have known a few who could easily outwit PhDs in physics.

But why anybody would have a do to celebrate a 50th escapes me. Such an event calls for sitting on a park bench weeping.

Yes and I only would comply in order to please a lady...





Should be a private park, with nobody around, people would think one is celebrating...

Black dress it is, then!

So, ra Sellik and ra Gers meet at Paradise today- a quaint ritual observed twice a year, up there in Glasgow. See the loyal fans, gaily bedecked in their team's favours- what a colourful scene they make with their banners and flags of all nations, the Red Hand of Ulster or the Tricolour. Hear their merry chants and songs as they gently rib each other, exhibiting such delicious ironic wit. See the hospital casualty ward later at the Royal Infirmary or the Western, as the doctors and nurses sew the bits back on.
Go to it, lads! Never mind the ball, get on with the Gemme!

smorgsy wrote-



Split up one side about half-thigh so that walking produces highlights for watching afficianodoes. Black six inch clackers, (other colours are so tame I feel) and high neck blouse in gold satin with a choker button at the top and a tied bow at the waist and no leaning forward ashing your fag or rooting in your handbag on the floor. And wag one foot to show your impatience at not having been grabbed yet for which you will need to cross your legs which is best done on a plush sink-back.

And never offer to light anybody else's cigarette. It looks so naff in my opinion. And don't tell anybody your bloody life story on any account. We've all got one of them.

And just try to look "open all hours". It's easy. I wish I could have a try but I lack the key ingredient. It must be great fun and I understand why ladies seek opportunities to practice it so avidly.

Well, thanks for the fasion tips suspendy...

Will midnight Blue clackers do?

I'm afraid the gold blouse is a no-no - it's just not me.

I'm afraid I'm rather more bo-ho than Audrey. Have to be careful with the heels as I'm tall in real life, and men don't like women who are taller than them (in my experience).

I never light anyones fag, nor do I dance round my handbag.

What key ingrediant do you lack?

'Open all hours' was so not the look I was going for...

More like 'how could you not want to marry me in Vegas on Wednesday?' sorta look - what do you think?


x

smorgsy wrote-



No. It's too fantastical. It's "open all hours" taken far too far. Men are getting smarter you know. They've had to do or bloody perish.

I only meant open all hours for those showing signs of deserving such a privilege. Those who follow you around on all fours sniffing at your heels and whimpering piteously for example.

Don't let him put you off smorgs.

A black little number with flashy frilly undies is all you need to get the right attention!


Splash of the right scent and enjoy yourself.

Angel - Tierry Mugler (my fave)

Flowerbomb - Victor and Rolf (I've about two squirts left - hint, hint, birthday in feb)

Or good old Channel (number 5, of course)

I really will put on what you decide!

x

Channel, without hesitation what-so-ever!


If I'm in town tonight, I'll be looking out for you, I'm drawn like a magnet to it :wink:

smorgsy wrote-



The two squirter will do nicely.

It's a house party, Mathos.

Right opposite - Not too far to crawl home...

x

I still can't decide what to wear - it's driving me mad. It's going to take ages to clear the mess I made in the boudoir!

I'm going to put heated rollers in my hair - for soft curls (or frizz knowing my luck)

Varnished nails or natural (they ARE long)

x

I told you it was a delicate operation preparing a Lady for market. Perhaps you need some expert supervision.

Varnish assuredly. Red for preference. It concentrates the mind.

2:0 one team finished, the other still 0:0 after half an hour, btw.

Yes Walt, good game the Reading Man U as well I'm watching it on Sky. Still 0-0 at HT.


Red?

No way Spendi, red would date a lady! Nice lilac with the black, but I'd want her to have a manicure first of all, they don't half hurt, long nails.


Smorgs, you shouldn't be hesitating, I already told you the right mode to use tonight. A little black off the shoulder number, maybe a black choker with a sparkly fastener at the front. Push 'em up and shove 'em out kid!


House party, I like house parties too! But you shouldn't be thinking about crawling home,play your cards right and you could be getting carried home. Imagine that, just like a blushing bride across the threshold!

smorgs --- yep , Kendo Nagasaki. he was definately here. He was 1 of those masked wrestlers


he wore a whole boy blac suit & black hood with black lines

bloody hell reading scored penalty

so you all dolled up yet smorgshious?

watch out with those heels...you've got curb stones to negtiate


any particular theme to this party 80's punks... rock n roll?

Mathos wrote:



Ahem.... Mathos, sweetie... WHAT BLOODY DECADE ARE YOU IN!

smorgs (living in the now)


:wink:

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