THE BRITISH THREAD

Thank you McTag, you are a true gentleman, not like some other "snivelling fart" who totally ignored my comments, nevertheless, he refers to me as "handsome and virile", so I must thank hin for that.

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Yep! Outplayed by the Poms!

I reckon 'twas the rain wot did it!

It's been so dry here tht most of the players had never seen rain! They couldn't understand why the sky was so wet! Bloody confusing. Not at all life as we know it!

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Spendy, are you suggesting that just because I want to exhaust the realm of the possible, that I should have Ludo tattooed on my penis?

Technically, I don't have a penis. So it wouldn't be exhausting the realm of the possible.

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The penis Ludo tattoo joke is about....no, I'll let Spendy tell it.

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Queenie wrote-

Quote:

Spendy, are you suggesting that just because I want to exhaust the realm of the possible, that I should have Ludo tattooed on my penis?

Technically, I don't have a penis. So it wouldn't be exhausting the realm of the possible.

I had managed to discover that young ladies are not equipt with the organ mentioned.

Actually, there is a whole school of psychology, which I don't agree with, which claims that ladies are envious of this male attribute. Why I cannot imagine in view of the disadvantages it brings in its train. Maybe it is due to an undervaluation or poor management of the assets ladies have.

It is worth bearing in mind that the realm of the possible in the purview of chaste English maidens is a long way short of the realm of the possible generally. Pentacle Queens may well be another matter entirely. One never knows. The pentacle, which I think has something to do with Pythagoras, does symbolise a constellation of strange pagan religious practices which the Christian religion might have been invented to neutralise thus facilitating the scientific revolution to which we all owe so much.

And some queens have had what one might call a reputation in these regards. Especially Empresses.

I will refrain from telling the LUDO joke because it is considered derogatory to matrons who are a class of lady I much admire and I have occasionally been known to be in awe of.

But I think, if memory serves, I referred to a "no limit" sign which one often sees when one gets onto a dual carriageway after leaving the suburbs behind.

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Evenin' all!

Make sure you're in tomorrow night.......IT'S BAAACK!

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I went into The Crown tonight and had a couple of pints of Ind Coope Burton Ale...quite good I thought....then bought a kebab sandwich and went home.

More Leylandii bit the dust today, maybe I'll get a photograph tomorrow.

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Lord Ellpus wrote:

Evenin' all!

Make sure you're in tomorrow night.......IT'S BAAACK!

I never watched Life on Mars last time but it's being hyped so hard maybe I'll give it a try. I never watched The Sweeny neither btw.

Tell you what though, there's diddly-squat on the box tonight.

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McTag wrote:

I went into The Crown tonight and had a couple of pints of Ind Coope Burton Ale...quite good I thought....then bought a kebab sandwich and went home.

More Leylandii bit the dust today, maybe I'll get a photograph tomorrow.

The Crown near The Town Hall?

If so, I used to work in there!

The other Bar 'person' (snigger), was a really pretty girl, but with fried eggs, she was saving up for a boob job... this was in the 80's mind, when it was £28.0000 per tit (thank God for affordable cosmetic surgery, now you don't have to wait for naturally buxom girls - like me - to come along). Actually, that was a lie, I have medium tits. Anyway, where was I?...

Oh yeah... she used to solicit like MAD for the "and your own", kept hers in a pint pot with 'TIT POT' on it.

x

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McTag wrote:

I went into The Crown tonight and had a couple of pints of Ind Coope Burton Ale...quite good I thought....then bought a kebab sandwich and went home.

I was in The Crown a week or so back. They do a great Ham sandwich there. Had a brilliant time.

The WW2 spitfire pilots used to bugger off for that brand of beer, when the weather was too bad for flying, McT.

That's where the expression "Gone for a Burton" comes from. (although you already know that, no doubt).

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McTag wrote:

I feel like I've been put through a mangle....I was digging out a big hedge today, leylandii. Heavy mothers. I got halfway along, more to do tomorrow if it's not too wet.

Leylandii are a bloody nuisance. I removed half a dozen of the sods about ten years ago, and STILL nothing grows in that area, despite putting half a ton of compost into the soil over the years.

Don't forget to stock up on Radox, McT. I think you may be needing it soon.

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I agree!

Nothing worse than an overgrown bush!

(well, maybe an overgrown bush, smelling of Radox)

HA bloody HA

And not at all boring"

x

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Lord Ellpus wrote:

McTag wrote:

I feel like I've been put through a mangle....I was digging out a big hedge today, leylandii. Heavy mothers. I got halfway along, more to do tomorrow if it's not too wet.

Leylandii are a bloody nuisance. I removed half a dozen of the sods about ten years ago, and STILL nothing grows in that area, despite putting half a ton of compost into the soil over the years.

Don't say that, milordy, I've got some beech to put in their place! With B&Q soil conditioner, of course.
Life's a beech, and then....
If these don't grow, I'll be wanting my money back. Shocked

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smorgs wrote:

I agree!

Nothing worse than an overgrown bush!

(well, maybe an overgrown bush, smelling of Radox)

HA bloody HA

And not at all boring"

x

Personally, I find a well trimmed bush a thing of great satisfaction, even in the dark.

McT, that area DOES happen to be the local toilet area for the local cat population, so that may be the reason why things don't grow. I'm sure your beech will do fine.

Good luck with it, anyway.

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If I had sold it you Mac you could whistle for your money back.

Wanting ain't getting by some stretch. And a good job too.

I saw an overgrown bush save a young lad's life earlier. It was a blackberry bush. He fell into it from 15,000 ft . I don't think it had a Radox fragrance but any port in a storm eh lads? You wouldn't worry about the fragrance from 15,000 ft at 100 mph I don't think.

And you might forget to ring your girlfriend on the mobile to say goodbye.

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lelyand cyprus? is that what you are talking about?

Replanting after a cyprus rotation
NPK 25:12:01 with trace boron copper and Zinc 6 weeks after planting. spread in an arc around the tree on the downhill side.

At least thats what I'd do here you probably dont need the trace as you actually have topsoil.

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Downhill like Australian cricket. What goes up must come down. It's a scientific law. Thank goodness.

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Well thanks dadpad for the expert view on replanting.

I had decided on this leylandii modus operandi:

Deepen the trench I have already dug in getting the blighters up.
Add layer of rotted garden compost and other veggie matter in the bottom.
Add NPK granules ad lib from a bucket..I've got a bag of the stuff in the basement.
Mix soil with 'soil improver' and refill trench, compacting lightly
Water well and leave for a few days
Come back Laughing

Transplant bare-rooted beeches
Mulch with shredded bark
Keep the local kids and their footballs off
Cross fingers

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Lord Ellpus wrote:

Personally, I find a well trimmed bush a thing of great satisfaction, even in the dark.

One can recognise the experts...

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envious of having a penis?
Perhaps not, but sometimes envious of the 'power' it seems to give men.

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