THE BRITISH THREAD

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!
HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A LOVELY TIME TODAY.

Sarah
xxxxx

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McTag wrote:

Steve 41oo wrote:
Walter Hinteler wrote:
How was the duck? Dead by now?

(Saying for the 3.285th time Merry etc)
It was dead. And quite delicious thank you. Mrs S stepped backwards on cat, much squealing from her, but Barney was really very good about it, a few dropped knives etc and nearly a tray of potatos but Good Duck thank G...

Wot you eatin' duck Xmas Eve for?
You gorn all European or wot?
We 'ad sarnies.
Poultry termorrer.

When you give the poul a try we're avin beef. As in roaste beefe ofe olde englande, from Waitrose, no less.

Happy Christmas everybody.

(Yesterday folded bicycle up, put cover on it, wrapped it in christmas paper, and undid it all this morning...best crimbo pressy for ages fantastic surprise. Off to pub now if open ding ding. If not just off and back a bit sooner ding)

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Well that were a rum do. No one about except a few groups of people wandering about looking lost. Somebody shouted happy Christmas mate to me to which I replied- somewhat cautiously as it might have been deeply ironic - and you mate. First pub was closed. Then the second. Then I got seriously worried began to suspect something was afoot...and would you believe it not a single pub was open. So nose was running faster than bike by this stage so cut short the expedition. Nearly flattened Susan with her new christmas and very sexy boots... so said Merry Christmas by way of compensation and now home. I noticed several tellies on with an old grey woman in a green dress and she's on here too. Whats going on?

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Ah now I understand...its that special time of year

So may I take this opportunity to wishing you all a Merry Mithras and a Happy New Dear.

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A fleeting glance through the doors of perception.

Going for a kip, not stopped since yesterday. Trust you all had a good and safe time.

Especially, my friend, no, Dear friend Lord Ellpus. I must make out a New Years resolution not to be unkind any more to my Cockney Mate from London and to dis regard any more of his insults, taking them all in the true spirit of sportsmanship, and united in friendship between the north and south of England.

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Traitor!!!

Lickspittle of the southern franchise head office.

When the ************* Independence Party comes to power we will put an electrified fence around that lot and if you're not inside it we'll hunt you down like a mangy dog and shoot you and throw your carcass into a ditch.

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Christmas is one of their rackets.

It's a "dip your bread in time" for all the out of work actors and other chancers and all the shops and other dispensaries that they support.

Did you see how the "troops" had been very touched by The Queen's Christmas message. Having some experience of such things I can assure you all that they probably searched high and low for two so they could use the plural. Although it could have been made up by a circuitous route such as ringing up the top man in Iraq and asking him how the troops had reacted to the message. He could hardly say that they didn't give a flying phewk now could he?

Like Thackery once said about the Prince of Wales laying the foundation stone of a new architectural wonder. That he tapped the stone with a small hammer and then went home for his dinner leaving the workmen to finish off the structure. The other dignitaries and the media, such as it was in those days, did the same.

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Leo Tolstoy
"The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him."

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spendius wrote:

Like Thackery once said about the Prince of Wales laying the foundation stone of a new architectural wonder. That he tapped the stone with a small hammer and then went home for his dinner leaving the workmen to finish off the structure. The other dignitaries and the media, such as it was in those days, did the same.

Spendy, you sad twat, laying heavy items of masonry is a skilled job, like planting ceremonial trees or hammering in railway spikes and if you or Thackeray think our harristocracy should be skilled in these matters as well as in cutting tapes then you are a daft twat as well.
Whenever I'm in a building with heavy walls, I'm always grateful that no belted earl had much of a hand in erecting the stonework.

t*w*a*t

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spendius wrote:

Did you see how the "troops" had been very touched by The Queen's Christmas message. Having some experience of such things I can assure you all that they probably searched high and low for two so they could use the plural. Although it could have been made up by a circuitous route such as ringing up the top man in Iraq and asking him how the troops had reacted to the message. He could hardly say that they didn't give a flying phewk now could he?

Spendy, you traitorous dog, the monarch is the head of the armed forces and if Her Majesty wants to address her troops it doesn't matter a flying phuket what they think of it, any more than if their sergeant or their general was addressing them.

However, I don't mind the US troops dissing their commander-in-chief.

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Hey-

Did you see Clare on Corrie when she said, ever so intensly, in silly hat and tinsel garland- "I love Christmas, me."

There's a cynical scriptwriter for you.

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whats corrie?

oh sorry I know that comedy/farce

with terrible script and acting.

I did think that young lad was going to get twonked though.

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It was a poor scene. Too adult for a lad that age I thought.

And I don't think I would have been bothered at that age whether I had been wanted or not. I doubt I was anyway.

Being here is enough for me. And I can't claim to have wanted that.

Must be modern life I suppose.

Grassing Bill up was good though. Fancy taking Audrey on. That's really far-fetched what?

I always think of Clare as the other end of the spectrum to myself. Only a butcher would relieve his carnal lusts on such innocence.

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spendius wrote:

It was a poor scene. Too adult for a lad that age I thought.

And I don't think I would have been bothered at that age whether I had been wanted or not. I doubt I was anyway.

Being here is enough for me. And I can't claim to have wanted that.

Must be modern life I suppose.

What a wonderful bundle of Christmas cheer you are S.

I'll drink to that.

Actually I do think it was a bit beyond the lad. Here's to Spendius our resident critic, and a lot else.

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God I feel SO FAT

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spendius wrote:

Hey-

Did you see Clare on Corrie {quote]

I can't believe it, you thick, so called well read Yorkshire gobbin watching that programme. You should hang your head in shame, it shows an element of total stupidity being even so much aware of it's existence is bad enough! To allow it broadcasting room in your house is diabolical. The southern one is as bad, East Enders, however my friend Lord Ellpus may find it necessary to watch such trivia in order to keep abreast with the criminal fraternity, he would not watch such tripe for pleasure.

Well thats Christmas near enough over and done with for another 12 months. Got a few coming around this-afternoon and this evening. Back to the grindstone tomorrow for another couple of weeks and then flying off to sunnier climes, did you note that Spendi, flying?

Dorothy

How fat is fat Dorothy?

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Dorothy Parker wrote:

God I feel SO FAT

Buy bigger clothes. It works for me.

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Mathos wrote-

Quote:

I can't believe it, you thick, so called well read Yorkshire gobbin watching that programme. You should hang your head in shame, it shows an element of total stupidity being even so much aware of it's existence is bad enough! To allow it broadcasting room in your house is diabolical.

You seem to be not only aware of its existence but also to know enough about it to make those remarks.

It is watched by as many as 18 million Brits, and many more world wide.

Her Majesty is supposed to be a fan. You are insulting a large number of people there old boy.

Some critics have rated it alongside Shakespeare.

I trust your prejudice is not caused by one of its storylines making you squirm in your seat. As Clare would have done had you seen her perform that cynical scene wearing a Christmas hat.

Or is it reverse snobbery? Does your attitude render you posh. Rather an easy way of being posh I should have thought. Much easier than learning how to express yourself more clearly and stylishly.

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Mathos wrote:

How fat is fat Dorothy?

No idea. But she wouldnt be called Fat Dorothy if she was anorexic. Pretty chubby I should think.

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She must be eating all the wrong things if she's fat.

Breathing doesn't make a person fat. Scoffing shite is required.

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