Are there any good men out there???

I think there are lots of good/available/age appropriate men out there. Particularly men who would be thrilled to have a lasting relationship with a woman who isn't looking to get married. How many of them cross your path depends on what path you are on.

Where would you find such a man? Not bars! Are you active in a church? Do you have particular hobbies? Want to learn something new such as ballroom dancing or bridge? Having a shared interest is a good place to start.

Re: Are there any good men out there???


There are good people everywhere and finding someone with qualities you want depends on where and how you do a search. I think there's no easy path and any way you choose has some sort of pain or tedium associated with it.

However, I applaud your courage and welcome you to the "party". Freedom from being trapped in a bad relationship allows the soul some liberating healing and blossoming.

Being single again myself...I say congratulations.

I don't know in which age group you are, but I'll tell you that I find it a bit harder over 40, but not impossible. Ignore things like odds being against your finding a suitable partner for an Over 40 person, because all you need is one person to make you happy.

As an example, I'm 55 now (located in northeast), but I've found a suitable partner with whom I was coupled for 5 yrs (once at 45 and again at 49). I used online dating sites to help me find both of them. Also, my sister found her hubby at age 50 (metro NYC) and they've been together 8 or 9 yrs and are quite happy.

Location near a major population center helps. The more activities with which you're involved and about which you're passionate, the easier it will be.

Remember that when you try to imagine being married AGAIN, as an abstract idea (without seeing or knowing that special loving person), it seems unfathomable if you've had a recent separation or divorce; however, look back in 2 years, let's say, date some great guys and you may soften that stance.

Hope this helps you

Personally, I'm not interested in politics, but I've heard from a number of people that a number of political volunteers--of all parties--are single men.

This is an election year and all parties are anxious for help.

Thanks for the insight. I'm 40 and feel that it'll be harder now. I have met a lot of nice people, both men and women who make great friends. But of the men I've recently met, the ones that I feel would make good dating material are married. What the heck?

Try different social circles and acitivities. Over time your steady efforts will reveal more opportunities. Try to have patience and keep it light at first.

Marty--

Back in the '70's when I was Single Again, the feminist joke was that to find a good man you had to kiss a lot of frogs. (Remember we were raised in the '40's and '50's and Single Again in the '70's after The Pill and the Sexual Revolution had changed the dating world).

You're still on the rebound--and hurting. Allow yourself two years of growth and self-discovery before you even think about getting serious about a man. Right now you want to be cuddled and taken care of--but you won't need this forever and you need to figure out what you do want and need in the long term.

ribbit .ribbit (froggy-like sounds)

Noddy..excellent advise there.

We were separated for 2 years before the divorce finalized. I spent those two years mourning the loss of my marriage and family unit. The past year I've been spending getting myself back on my feet.
Noddy, great observation!

I pretty much know that in the long term I just want to spend my time with someone who appreciates me for all my great qualities as well as my poor ones. Someone who accepts me for not being any where close to perfect. Oh, and they have to appreciate my kids too!!!

marty, you could find a young guy in China! Ok, half-joking half-not. I've met a lot of middle-aged women 'round here who have gone and taught English in China, coming back home with a nice man. Or choosing to stay there!
I think there will be a lot of Chinese bachelors as the years go on now.

Anyhoo, just be patient. Get out and enjoy being single for a while. It's trite but true - the right person usually comes around when we aren't thinking about it.

good luck.