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Wed 23 Aug, 2006 01:40 pm
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." --Mark Twain
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --General George S. Patton
"Going to war without France is like going deerhunting without your accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
--Marge Simpson
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." --Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right." --Rush Limbaugh
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --Regis Philbin
"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." -- John McCain , U.S. Senator from Arizona
"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." --Conan O'Brien
"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France either." --Jay Leno
"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman
"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada." --Ted Nugent
"War without France would be like ... World War II." --Unknown
"The favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is one that says 'First Iraq, then France.'" --Tom Brokaw
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the Nazis?" --Dennis Miller
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us." --Alan Kent
"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house." --Argus Hamilton
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day -- the description was, 'Never shot.
Dropped once.'" --Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found truffles in Iraq " --Dennis Miller
"Raise your right hand if you like the French,... raise both hands if you are French." --Unknown
Q. What did the mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered the city in WWII? A. Table for 100,000 m'sieur?
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It's not known, it's never been tried." --Rep. R. Blount, MO
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining." --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv
The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the London bombings that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide. The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate. The rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military.
French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney (AP), Paris, March 5, 2003 The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.
France, then a country of 42 million, suffered approx. 600,000 military casualties in WWII, the same number as America-- a country of 129 million. And of course, they suffered over 5,651,000 casualties in World War One, a war from which they emerged on the winning side (assuming you believe anybody really won that nightmare). By comparison, America racked up a total of 321,000 casualties.
Real knee-slapper, huh?
I never knew you were so sensitive on the subject of France....
<yawn>
Arent you, like, three years too late with this stuff, DD? It was real popular for a while, then.. not that the people who thought it funniest back then are eager to be reminded now...
nimh wrote:<yawn>
Arent you, like, three years too late with this stuff, DD? It was real popular for a while, then.. not that the people who thought it funniest back then are eager to be reminded now...
Do you really think that, Nimh? What makes you think they have changed?
Seriously, Drewdad.
We don't appreciate you making fun of those pussies. Just because the French are a bunch of little bitches...I mean C'MON!
How many've you met, Dorothy?
hhmmmmmm
you must have met different ones from the loads of french that ive met.
It was only meant to be a joke nimh. Was just joining in on the Let's Bash France Thread. No offence to anyone meant.
Although I did actually snog a French guy from Lille once and his breath was very garlicky. He was well fit though.
x
Go to google. Search French military victories. Click search, and then click the top one, or just click "I'm feeling lucky"
You can also do that seriously and click on this link:
French military victories and defeats
But in that case, they wouldn't have any fun, Francis.
So, let them type failure and I'm feeling lucky...
I've never been a huge fan of the French, but I admit that is based on extreme generalisations. The arrogance of Charles De Gaulle and Jacques Chirac. The Rainbow Warrior scandal. Mururoa Atoll.
Went to France for lunch once.
Our public broadcast tv station has just finished screening a repeat of the wonderful series on Rick Stein's Odyssey through Southern France in which the British chef travelled by river barge from Bordeaux to Marseilles, stopping off along the way to sample the cooking of the area. It was incredible - and this from someone who previously thought French cooking was overrated, overpriced and undercatered. Right now I would love to take the same trip.
It is so easy to make generalisations - and so many may have more than a grain of truth in them. So, who is going to start the next funny thread - perhaps the one about the dumb Poles, or the stupid Irish, or the pompous British, or the loud-mouthed-know-it-all-Americans, or the beer-swilling Australians, or the Jews, or the Blacks, or the Muslems, or whoever.
"It's all in good fun!"
No wonder half the world spends it's time trying to destroy the other half.
Speaking of France, one of my favorite actors just died - Philippe Noiret. (Sorry, failure to bash).
What do you get when you cross a Frenchman with a Mexican?
Jacques Coustodian.
(I sure hope some of my Mexican friends aren't reading this thread)
How would you tell a cross Frenchman from a regular Frenchman?
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