Sands can be rough on the toungue
And equally so on the dong.
Sands can be rough on the toungue
And equally so on the dong.
So joining of penis
And womanly venus
On secluded beach is all wrong
My friend bought oriental rugs
In an alley from japanese thugs
And when he got home
He wasn't alone
The thugs sold him rugs full of bugs
So he went to get back his money
So he went to get back his money
true story, don't laugh, it's not funny
our hero denied,
learned bugs, deeply fried
are choicer than wags, and less runny
------------------------------------------
But, back to the sands of the east
But, back to the sands of the east
On the day of a Bedouin feast
A man from Ben Nevis
Got sand in his crevice
Whilst riding a multi humped beast.
He climbed off the thing to take stock
And hitched up the back of his frock
Then bent himself double
He climbed off the thing to take stock
And hitched up the back of his frock
Then bent himself double
Ripped off a bubble
And wiped up the mess with his sock.
T'was one he had bought in Torquay
And it reached right up to his knee
Twas knit of pure wool
A colour quite dull
T'was one he had bought in Torquay
And it reached right up to his knee
Twas knit of pure wool
A colour quite dull'
But it helped him when he had to flee
The streets were packed with tourists
lims
Mistake. Sorry Cyr. Carry on.
Yes, tourists were packing the streets
You could tell by the smell of their feets
Yes, tourists were packing the streets
You could tell by the smell of their feets
Fat ones and thin ones
Grimmer and grim ones
All looking for cool, clean white sheets.
(If you can say "feets" I can double rhyme.)
So back to the action came Joe
He's one of the tourists, just so,
He's hard on the heels
Of pitiful squeals
So back to the action came Joe
He's one of the tourists, just so,
He's hard on the heels
Of pitiful squeals
From a young nubile weaver named Flo.
Now Flo's family name it was Durkin
And she loved the odd suck on a gherkin
To show off her trade
For herself she had made
A red white and blue woolly merkin
She wore this in wintery weather
She wore this in wintery weather
And she loved to pop in for a blether
She wore this in wintery weather
And she loved to pop in for a blether
Or just for the crack
From front or the back
And talking about the weather.
( I considered "slether" but thought better of it.)
But one day it snowed and quite deep
But one day it snowed and quite deep
I approve of the rhythm you keep
Oh Spendi, you star
You're better by far
Than a winding-up doll that goes "Beep!"
But now let's get back to the snow
But now let's get back to the snow
And the snowman I built with Joe Schmo
With a caccot for nose
But now let's get back to the snow
And the snowman I built with Joe Schmo
With a caccot(carrot?) for nose
And a green hose
To signal his manhood below
I'm trying to get with the shceme
I'm trying to get with the shceme
With some spellings that came from a dream
I'm trying to get with the shceme
With some spellings that came from a dream;
Ghoti is 'fish'
With potato's in a dish
I'm trying to get with the shceme
With some spellings that came from a dream;
Ghoti is 'fish'
With potato's in a dish
And followed by peaches and cream.
(Come,come Clary. 88558.)
A lady once went to Mumbai
With a chap who is six feet high
Spendi has missed out a syllable
So the metre had turned out quite miserable
Likewise with the rhyme
So let's try one more time
If you can think of a last line for this, you're a better man than me, Gunga Din.
Spendi has missed out a syllable
So the metre had turned out quite miserable
Likewise with the rhyme
So let's try one more time
To fix this? Now you must be gullible
A hippo was stuck in a chair
