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Thu 27 Jul, 2006 06:17 am
ok I have to get this off my chest somehow & figure out how to deal with it so I found this site & decided to try it out. Well lets get with the background first I suppose. I've been dating this guy craig on & off now for 7 years. Not being broken up for more than 6 months at a time. Well about 8 months ago I ended it & tried to move on. Craig & I didnt talk for the first 4-5 months but then became friends again. I never stopped loving him from the day I broke it off but thought things would be better if we werent together because we always seemed to fight. Well about 7 weeks ago craig started trying to get back with me & I told him I no longer loved him & thought we should remain friends to save ourselves the heartache. He persitantly tried for 3 weeks & I continued to tell him I no longer loved him like I once did. Well about 2 weeks ago craig & my once best friend Rebecca were at a party & ended up sleeping together. Now let me remind you this is the same girl that 3 days before this incident was saying how she knew I stilled loved craig very much & I agreed but telling her about my situation & being stuck. Well after being informed of this I was enraged of how rebecca could betray me like that & how craig who I thought still loved me very much could do that to me. Well about a week after this craig came over asking for me back apologizing so I agreed because after that incident I realized how much I did want to be with him no matter how things may turn out in the end I wanted to be with him again. The problem I'm having is if I was wrong for being furious at rebecca & craig or if actually it was none of my business seeing as how me and craig were not together at the time and now that we ARE together I am having a difficult time letting go of that and craig doesnt understand how bad it hurt me. I think about it non stop & its to the point now its driving me crazy. I jsut cant seem to let it go. Anyone have some advice of how to stop being obsessed with an incident that was mostly my fault ?
Well primarily everybody involved was single so you cant really complain.
I think your friend was talking to you about you ex so she could work out if you were really over him so she could approach him.
I dont think its fair youve said to him that you dont want him but then said to your friend that you do want him.Your fooling yourself.
All yuor actions have pointed towards you NOT wanting him, so if your ex and friend like each other they should get together if they want.
All that said if he is making a play for you still Id imagine the sex with him and yuor friend didnt mean a thing.He was probably using her to make you jealous so youd go back out with him.
By all means be peed off but all involved were single and you said you didnt want him back.
At least now you know you want him.
yes thats true but rebecca WASNT single. She had been with her boyfriend for over a year and cheated on him with craig. and I did want craig back way before any of this happened its just I was afraid of hurting him again because we always seem to break up & he gets the bad end of it so I was trying to be unselfish & do what I "thought" was best for him. Craig says he never wanted to be with becky and I believe him on that part they were both at a party etc etc. Its just I dont know why I am having such a hard time dealing with the fact that he slept with someone else when I said I didnt want him & he therefor had all right to but its just before that happened and after we had started talking again we were acting as if we were still together...we were having sex, kissing, he was staying over its just it wasnt official because I said I couldnt do that to him again etc. Am I wrong for feeling betrayed ?
I think the only betrayed person is your friends boyfriend.He is the one that was cheated on.
It sounds like a drunken one night stand that ment nothing.Youd still be kidding yourselfyou didnt want him if you hadnt found out.
You were kidding yourself that you didnt want him.I think having someone constantly asking you to go back out with them is flattering but as soon as someone else coame on teh scene it shook you up and made you realise you wanted him.
He wasnt going to wait around forever.Id imagine he saw your friend as 'convenient'.
You were broken up. Craig has every right to sleep with who ever he chooses.
I'd consider a new best friend though....and hopefully, her boyfriend consideres a new girlfriend.
Word gets around. He'll find out.
A man who will allow your best friend to be the object of a sexual excursion isnt worth it.
Technically single or not, there is a rule to family and friends that should and is respected by respectFUL people.
He doesnt come off as such.
So technically am I wrong for taking him back after all this? After trying to be unselfish for so long is this actually selfish of me to take him back now instead of tehn even tho its what I really want ?
Lilcountrybaby--
Welcome to A2K.
You thought Rebecca was a faithful friend and confidant who understood your feelings and who cared for you as a person.
You thought Craig still loved you and wanted to reconcile.
Both of these suppositions proved false. The world is not as you thought it was. Of course you're upset.
You won't miss Rebecca and Craig--they were never the people you thought they were. You're missing people who don't exist.
well me and craig ARE back together...because he said he still loved me & apologized about the becky thing. Me and craig have been together for a few weeks now it jsut bothers me knowing he slept with somone else I guess
Been there Lilcountry, get it resolved now 'cause you will never forget it. Forgive, yes, but never forget. There is a thread at the top of this forum, it may have some info good for you.
I must stress, resolve/forgive NOW or end it. It can hurt for many years. I thought I'd be over it by now. I can remember the events as if it were yesterday and it has been .................... holy crap now that I think of it, it has been almost 20 years. But I am different/odd/plain ass weird.
Good luck to you.
lol well see atleast someone has been where I am. I have decided to forgive Becky and it has helped some. I am definalty going to read the thread you mentioned & hopefully start to forget some. Thanks for everyone who posted I'll keep checking back =)
I can't or won't read thousand word paragraphs.
Take a walk in the morning, whatever the post.
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