Where has the Sex Gone

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Yes, a certain degree of fall-off occurs, but that varies a lot. Are there weight issues? both people...one person?

A degree of fall off is to be expected after a long time relationship is under way. The fall-off might be from 2-6 times per week to once per week, as an example...using my own experience.

Let's assume for the sake of discussion that he's (or you) had no major distressing issues going on in his life (job or big financial loss, grief over a death, divorce, family issue or a major lifestyle change/bankruptcy, etc.).
Are there children present...What level of major distractions are in your lives?

If any of these issues are NOT the case, then I would advise you to seek couples counseling. If he rejects this as a possibility, then what you may be dealing with is a power struggle.

My advice: Either suck it up and open this can of worms or have the worms eat you. The relationship will not survive unless you decide to give up sex. The fact that he watches porn (while disrespectful to you), indicates he still desires sex. There's a message in there.

There has to be a in-depth discussion about the direction of the relationship initiated by you, because this is not the healthy way of a long-term couple to behave at the age of 30-35. Even at 65, couples still engage pretty regularly unless impaired health-wise.

Good luck and be strong. Remember: Your happiness is like a baby bird...it needs protection and help.

at age 35...
...and his line about not being in his prime at age 35 is crap. As an example, look at what people are doing physically in pro sports etc. in their 40s. Something is going on there and it may be beyond his control, but NOT beyond help or acknowledgment.

However, HE may have an issue of some sort that he's hiding (even unconsciously) weight..etc.? Either you guys discuss it, or the relationship goes south. Eventually, it will deteriorate further ...whether someone is pro-active or not.

What Happen to the Sex?
Thanks Rag,

No major issues going on, He makes comments that he feels fat, while he has gained a few pounds, I don't feel is the issue, or maybe it is the issue now - maybe he dosen't feel good about himself so is not in the mood. I could understand that but that would explain only the current situation -

Kids - I do have a son part-time, there is plenty of alone time so that could not be it.

I have not changed, weight wise, I still look pretty much the same as I did when we met - so that's not it

I am a pretty open person, when we do have sex - we try new things etc - so i don't feel he's bored.

Your right though, I need to just address the issue with him, that's the only way to know what he's feeling.