A rant

Oh and I forgot to comment on Phoenix's observation -- very true, and probably part of why non-neurotic mom-sites are so hard to come by.

I didn't want to say it, but anyone who goes on-line to bone up on that job is already on the downhill slope . . . whether or not anyone here agrees with me, i've always felt this is one of those "either you got it or you ain't" kinda occupations . . .

Nah, there are lots and lots of practical tips I've gotten online. I owe Noddy here big time, especially early on. That stuff is great. I think it gets tricky when it's "I've given up my career and am stuck in the house with a tiny bundle of neediness who cannot talk -- help!!!"

To be more precise -- I think that the practical tips part is very useful, the "I don't know you but I want you to validate my existence since I'm not getting that validation anywhere else" part is just a bushel o' trouble.

huh?

(I think dear margo was offering a sample of what her response would be, not addressing me. And if I'm wrong, anyone know how to get super cheap plane tickets to Australia? No reason.)

Next time when Mimi asks if she is a good mom, why not reply: Do you think you are a good mom?

I just wanna know: a) who's a fetid flower? and b) how can this person also be a type of pickle?

One thing nobody has brought up here is that any given mom is better with one age than another. I was nearly hopeless with newborns -- I thought their arms or legs would fall off... or maybe their head. But I was great with toddlers, especially two-year-olds, which some folks say I resembled in terrible ways. I had a hard time enjoying elementary age kids but was fine with teens and the near-adults I've now got.

So when a mom questions her abilities you can point to the fact that though she's having a hard time, it is not a permanent condition. Things change, the child grows up. You don't really need to give her an answer. Ask Swimpy's question, which is excellent, or just ask her more questions about what she is feeling. Talk about what the mom finds hard about the current age of her child. Waffle, for God's sake. You can always make the comforting noises about, "Oh, I've felt that/heard that/seen that" or you can change the subject to yourself and get her to recognize you don't really want to talk about her and her problems.

Sometimes it is better not to give people advice or direction, even if they ask you for it. (Oh wait... nevermind... free advice is worth its price, eh?)

I should mention that about one in every hundred moms really is horrible and should probably have her children taken away from her. I met someone who truly detested her child; it was so obvious and so hard to see that I just avoided her. If any of these women are like that, there is nothing you can do short of turning her in to state resources and unless there is physical damage, they won't do anything.

I think there is probably great wisdom in what Piffka has written.


(Now, what's it mean if I have trouble with children between the ages of three months and sixty-two years?)

Sozobe--

Thanks for the kind words. Hold your dominion.

oooooh ...

I hate tricks with mirrors. <nods>

(djreaming of djinni? <shrugs>)

You, PD are a stirrer! And you highlight differences in language.

Of course I wasn't taking a shot at Sozobe. You, however, should watch your tail!