Will you stop please? Will you stop please?

It's being two. :-)

Testing limits, all that loveliness.

You can probably go ahead and be more firm though, especially if you're feeling like being more firm and the "will you stop please?"s are coming through gritted teeth. Just "Bean, no. We're leaving in five minutes, stop that NOW."

Dr. Sears has a really good section on this in "The Baby Book", you have that, right?

I do have that.
I have not pulled it out in a while though. So I will have to go find it.

I think i am going to have to be firmer. Most of the times it is little stuff..
like just NOW actually
She was using her toy to hit the window.

I said " Bean, dont hit the window with that . You could break it. You can hit the carpet? Do you wanna smack a pillow with it and see if you can make it jump? "

<bang>

" Bean. Do NOT hit the window"

<giggle>
<bang>

" Thats enough. Give it to me. You have to obey the rules or you can not play with your handle anymore"


and that is some what how it goes.

It has been a pick your battles kind of a decision every time, but I find myself more and more just repeating myself and staring blankly at her .

This book has been a life saver.

http://www.sosprograms.com/phome.htm

But both parents have to be on the same page.

And consistancy is the key. Always follow the same pattern. Yaya knows that not following instructions is cause for a timeout. We tell her, repeat it, and then count slowly to three. If she's not following instructions by "three" then it's a timeout.

It took several days (a week?) of giving her lots of timeouts, but it has definitely reduced aggravation on both sides.

Only enforcing your instructions some of the time is a recipe for disaster.

When I was akid a smack on the bottom used to make me stop -- and made me listen in the future!

Also, "stop it" does not register with 2 year olds. Be more directive like, "move away from the window."

Though I do not favor "corporal punishment", I find two year olds do not understand cause and effect until they feel it on the ass.

Don't talk. Act. Tell her once. Then get up, cross the room and physically stop the objectionable behavior.

If she whales at the window again, get up, cross the room, and confiscate the toy.

She's already turned "Please, don't...." into a delightful game. She can make you say "Please, don't....." What fun.

Remember, Mommies are in charge--and Mommie isn't an easy job.

ding ding ding!

That is exactly what I think I have been doing.
I watched my reactions for the rest of the day, and had the Mister do the same thing .

We both realized that what ever we needed her to do right then was only important ( according to our tone of voice) for the first 2 requests.
After that it was more of a plea bargain.
Exactly what I told myself I would not do because I would end up where I am right now.



I will give this a 100% effort for 2 weeks and get back to ya.
I bet you anything , that is the number one problem solver .

Simply because, as I said.. I demand, then plea.
The plea is what makes Bean laugh because.. I think it sort of confuses her and makes her a bit nervous.
At 2, nerves come out as laughter alot of times.


I did actualy swat her on the butt 2 days ago.
I felt strange..
We were in the parking lot of Barton Creek mall. HUGE lot... and she is walking next to me, holding my hand as usual.
I feel her wiggle free, wich is nto usually so easy if I were not also pulling out my keys too.. and she ran down the parking lot isle.
Close to the cars thank goodness.. but all the same..

I chased after her and almost yelled " STOP RUNNING NOW".
<giggle>
" I SAID STOP"
<giggle>

I caught her arm and swatted her diaper.
Not hard, but she knew I hit her.
And she did stop..... right then.
I explained to her running rules.. blah blah blah..
but I felt bad.
It scared me that any car could have backed out right then and not seen her.
Or some speeding teenager could have swerved and hit her.

<sigh>

this is the big reason that this repeating has to stop..

Shewolf--

You were absolutely right to swat your dearly beloved baby.

The physical emphasis may save her life down the road.

Meanwhile, study up--off your duff--for She Who Must Be Obeyed.

You're earning every single grey hair.

Hold your dominion.

Consequently,

I have two patches just at my temples, that have begun to follow the curve of my ear.

I adore them.

I call one side Jillian,
the other side Ian.

Shewolf,

I've never read a baby book...lol, so my advice may be rendered useless or even offend someone. Not all children are the same, not all parents are the same...therefore what works for one, won't work for the other.

A lil discipline, as in swatting a diaper, or swatting a hand isn't going to hurt your child. Sure, it will hurt your feelings, hurt Beans feelings...but some children, one time is all it takes. The next time the same situation comes up, you remind her of the last time....if that doesn't work..then repeat step one...she'll get the drift and eventually...you want have to repeat yourself, all it will take is a "No Bean".

Has anyone else noticed that kids do not obey authority the way they did when we were young? I was doing some work on a TV show recently and these two miscreants (ages about 10) had to play my children. They actually teased me mercilessly until I threatened to get the director and have them forcibly evicted from the set. Then they quieted down. I see this as two children that have no respect for they have had no discipline.

We always had a rule around our house that spanking was a last-resort discipline. There were only two reasons for it, and our son knew exactly what they were.

(1) Willful disobedience (Ex: "Put that down, honey"..."NO!")
(2) Dangerous behavior that he'd been warned against. (Ex: running into the street)

Studies show that spankings are actually less effective than other forms of discipline.

They also degrade the child's trust in the parent.

Yeah, well, I suppose I could have used duct tape instead.

Studies and theories are fine, but I have yet to find a method of discipline that applies to all children in all situations.

Noddy's comments are worth a try. But physically removing the child from a dangerous situation did not work with my son. He actually enjoyed making me come and get him.

I avoid spanking as a first responce.
In fact, I can count on one hand the amount of times I have swatted her diaper. I have not hit her to hurt her, and I doubt it will.

but I dont think there is a problem with a swat to the butt, espically when she was doing what she did .
She thought it was a game, it was not.
She made a game out of running in a large parking lot.
Talking to her wasnt getting her to stop.
Yelling wasnt getting her to stop.
She needs to know that running in an area like that is not acceptable and quickly.

shewolf.. less talking and more action works for me too. The first one is request, the second firm request with consequences, the third with applying the consequences. We are done in about 3 minutes. If you go with this approach, expect for tantrums to follow. When that happens, I explain him why that behaviour is unacceptable and put him in his room. I tell him he can be there until he has sobered himself. I under no circumstances bear with his tantrums in the living room or family room.

I do not believe in spanking but remember at least 3 times in four years when I have resorted to swat to the butt. It is not because I want to hurt him but because he is in a state from which he needs to be shaken out. that swat on the right place works as a good shake and it worked well each of the times.

Exactly my thoughts.


So far, this has only been a few days of "speak, demand' physicaly move her' type of action instead of repeating repeating repeating

so far, no tantrums. But knock on wood... I give her another 2 days or so and it will happen. OHHH yeah..
So thanks for the warning.

I think it is a good idea to remove them when they have a tantrum like you do. I will employ that as well..