Conversations with your special someone

I have the same life.

First of all dont feel like you always have to talk.Sometimes its nice just to be quiet.
Other people may be shy so they may not want to give their life story.
Also they dont have to even if they are not shy.

I try to think about what the have mentioned in the past and ask them about that.It will make them happy to think you remembered something about them.

A couple I like, but rarely see are expecting a new carpet, whenever I see them I ask the same question 'Got your carpet yet?'.I feel bad as thats really all I know thats going on in their lives(thye recently moved into a new home)but at least Im making contact.
Luckily my friends are very chatty so they will continue talking.

All I can suggest is to talk about things they have mentioned in the past, talk about things you have been doing.
Maybe research something they have mentioned then you can say 'I read something interesting the other day etc' You will be helping them out and also may open up a new ineterest in your life.

Or the usual, holidays, family, what they are wearing,places they have visited, thecurrent news,or the classic one is weather if your really stuck.

two other things that are good for conversations are dreams and movies.

I only talk about dreams with close friends, but movies are good for anyone.

I hope yuo mean dreams as in ambitions?!
I once heard a phrase 'nothing is more boring than listening to somebody tell you the dream they had last night'.

Wow, no matter what age you are i guess we've all got the same problem.

First of, im 16 as of yesterday and here's what im thinking.

It's often hard to find something to talk about, you always feel pressed to say something and uneasy when nothings sayed. But when your doing something your mind is at ease, you're letting people see the real you and your getting comfortable with the people your associating with. So i say find something exciting to do that takes your mind of constantly trying to keep conversation going, and when the time comes there's nothing to do, you've got something to talk about like the great time you had doing "said activity".

Ask stuff.

People pretty much always like talking about themselves. Not just the major parts of their life, but the minor ones, and what they think about things. What's the worst job you've ever had? What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Etc., etc. Look around this very board for ideas.

I find saying these little gems help a lot.

"Weather...brutal."

"Hey, how 'bout them Sox?"

"Sure is a fine day today, eh?"

"So....how goes?"

And if they don't work, well shucks, I just tell 'em to go jump in a lake! Yeah, that's what I do!

well after I typed that I did think about future plans. That is a good thing to talk about.


but at the time I meant actual dreams. I mean everybody has them. Of course I didn't mean talk about every dream you have had, but you could ask have you had any crazy or interesting dreams lately?

I usually find other peoples dreams fascinating. I don't feel anyone i've told my dreams to has been bored.

Though my dreams can be really crazy.

like this one night I dreamt.....just kidding.

when was the last time you talked to somebody about a dream? were you bored?

Blackie Chan -

Hmmmm, it is a difficult one. My husband & I have problems with it. I love to talk, but he is more on the quiet side. Sometimes I feel he doesn't care (even though he does) because he doesn't say enough.
I think it is an issue you always have to work on, it is especially important in a marraige. We play games together & talk about that. We talk about our days, kids, tv, movies. And we do devotions, which talks about a subject & then has a question for you to talk about. Like the one day it was about think of some of the funniest things that has happened in your relationship. So that kinda gets us talking.
You could also get involved with something with that person, like hobby, sport, volunteer, things that you both like to do. That brings you closer & you have something in common to share.
Hope something here helps!! Blessings!! Ari

All along I thought I was in love with Gus, but now I know that was a mere trifle, a crush, if you will, a juveniile infatuation... Slappy, where the hell have you been all my life????

Spot on sozobe .... the more you listen to your partner the more you have to talk about , this is where it all starts .

Ive made a note of finishing work early last this last few weeks ( home by 10pm ) and i now jump into bed every night with my wife and ask how her day was and actually full on listen and little things she says can lead to hours of discussion as you can branch off .

Listen and actually pay full attention to your partner / Gf / Wife and this will naturally bring conversation .

... it was Oscar Wilde

Very good point about the importance of follow-up, OTQ. Like, you can have the best question in the world, but you have to actively listen to the answer or else it'll just sputter out. And actively listening can take you really far.

Like, bad:

You: "What was the worst job you ever had?"

Him/Her: "Wow, hmm, it must've been my job at the frozen yogurt store."

You: "Oh."

Him/ Her: -pause-

You: "So, what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail...?"


Vs. Good:


You: "What was the worst job you ever had?"

Him/Her: "Wow, hmm, it must've been my job at the frozen yogurt store."

You: "Frozen yogurt store? Really? That sounds like it would be good, lots of freebies, no?

Him/ Her: "Well the yogurt itself was good, but my co-workers, oh my god!!"

You: "Oh, I've been there. What were they like?"

Etc.

That's absolutely right, soz - "best listener" prize to you

If you are actually interested in what they are saying, you'll have a question to ask or something equivalent in your life to share.

If you are interested in your life, no matter how simple or full of "nothing" it may be, there's always something to say about it. Just look at the success of Seinfeld - the show about nothing!

KP

To me a sign of a good relationship is to be able to be silent together. You don't have to talk, you can just enjoy each other's presence and it's enough, and it's lovely.

try being on a date with a spaniard that can barely speak english but refuses to shut up. From the second he see you till the second he leaves motor mouth in broken english.

Him: In Spain we make thing called patience that look like this kinda of but not. You understand?

Me: Uuh no. que?

Him: In Spain blah blah blah. So you like to shurf?

Me: Shurf?

Him: Yes you know in the sea.. (does movement)

Me: Oh surf!

Him: Si si so you like? Because i used to shurf, you have nice beaches here in South Africa?

Does this all night, never have to worry about lulls in conversation. Generally for me it's football, food, movies, music, people, cars, my pets, drinks, clothes whatver anything that pops into mind. i don't generally struggle for conversation. In fact i can talk a little too much so fellow motor mouths welcome this way I love a good natter.

Asking about things is one thing, remembering the answers is another.