Serious Problem

Is this the 14 year old, John? I ask because it seems to be a prime age for adolescent girls to turn to self-injury as a coping mechanism. There is an excellent support site that you can try to encourage her to visit called 'bodies under siege' here bus. They also have forums for friends and family members who want to support their loved ones.

There have been a number of discussions here in the past on self-injury as well. Keep in mind that most people who self-injure are not trying to kill themselves, in fact, by releasing the built up stress through self-injury, they are avoiding suicidal thoughts.

I'll try to find some of the older links.

Hey John

hope some of these can help give you a bit more info

http://www.selfharm.org.uk/default.aspa

http://www.siari.co.uk/Links_pages/Self-Injury_Self-Harm_alternatives-and-coping-skills.htm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/mental_health/emotion_selfharm.shtml

they're certainly good starting points


i self harmed through a good chunk of my teenage years... but never ever intended to kill myself- that wasn't the point. one thing that i used to find quite helpful was the elastic/rubber band on the wrist... flicking that instead of cutting. I stopped cutting at 16/7 - 8 years later and haven't done it since! Never received any kind of professional help or anything - just worked myself through it

good luck

... and another gereral information site on self-injury

http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html

I would never suggest to someone they can work through it themselves. Because most people will fail doing it alone and failing at a time like that can be devestating.

Your girlfriend doesn't want to kill herself but she just might some day when she cuts too deep. This behavior is destructive and isn't done by someone who is "normal". She has a psychological problem. No, she's not crazy and no she's not "mental" but she does have a deep seated issue that needs to be addressed before this behavior can be corrected. You can put a bandaid on the symptom but the illness won't go away and if she stops because she feels better, chances are good that the issues that made her do it in the first place will resurface and she'll be back to cutting.

She probably denies that there is anything seriously wrong and most people probably have no clue that she does this. The fact that she told you or allowed you to see it means to me that she doesn't really want to be doing it and that she is looking for a way out. Cries for help don't need to be screams. They can be something as simple as your knowing about it.

Get her a phone number for professional help.

Thanks guys,
Your advice brought tears to my eyes! Im going to get her help after i read those sites, ill also see what the forum people have to say on the situation.

Im going to suggest she does the elastic band method in the meantime though, I'd rather put the band aid on then none at all.

Any other advice would be appreciated but I think thats enough for now.

John x

ps. yes, it is the 14 year old!

Don't be an enabler! That's worse than ignoring it all together! You are essentially telling her that it's ok to do things like this.

Suggest to her a more healthy way of dealing....screaming into a pillow for example. You'd be suprised at how much tension you can relieve by doing that.

hello 'dark john'
please check your school email account.
lots of love pq xxxxxxx

oh, and...

She sounds like a nice girl. i dont know her or anything about self harm, so i cant really say, but your love could be just what she needs right now, so you should be glad you are with her.

i would like to say though. dont let it bring you down. please. youve just got your life back to normaility.

and i wont tell anyone, john, so dont worry.
as long as you answer my email! hehe.
pq xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx