dead baby jokes (i know im sick)

At least you know you are sick, for the love of god get help

Oooooohh you're so gonna be slammed...

There was a dead baby jokes thread here earlier, long time ago ... it was bloody...

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?

You can unload the truckload of dead babies with a pitchfork.

Heeheehee...that's sick.

How many dead babies would it take to shingle a roof?

Just one, but you have to slice 'er really thin.

Here: Dead Baby Jokes


... Oh no, wait that cant have been it ... everyone played along nicely in that one, actually.


Oooh I remember - it was this one that got the tempers flared nice and frazzy: Do the Schiavo (Pics of people doing her)

I wasn't going to make a contribution to this thread but then Kickycan did and he has always been a bad influence on me, enticing me into threads which get me into trouble and tarnish my reputation.

How do you make a dead baby float?
-1 scoop of ice cream, 1 scoop of dead baby.

Why do they boil water when a baby is born?
-So that if it's born dead, they can make soup.

What's red and squirms in the corner?
-A baby playing with a razor blade.

What's blue and squirms in the corner?
-A baby in a baggie.

What's green and sits in the corner?
-The same baby two weeks later.

What's red and hangs from the ceiling?
-A baby on a meathook.

Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first?
-So you can watch it's expression.

What's red and bubbly and scratches at the window?
-A baby in the microwave.

And finally....the joke that's putting me to hell...

What's 12 inches long, has a purple head, and makes women scream?

-SIDS.

what's blue, yellow and floats at the bottom of your pool?

baby with slashed floaties


what's red, yellow and floats at the top of your pool?

floaties with slashed babie

What do you call a dead baby.....

that's laying on your doorstep?
Matt

that you throw over a fence?
Chuck

that's handing on the wall?
Art

in a hole?
Phil

in a barrel of water?
Bob


Yeah....we're all damned to hell now.

I'll never be able to show my face on the parenting thread again.
oh well.

whats more fun than swinging a baby on the clothes line?
stopping it with a shovel

whats more fun than throwing a baby of a cliff?
catching it with a pitch fork

whats the difference between a wartermelon and a baby?
one's fun to smash with a sledge hammer the others a warter melon

I knew that one slightly differently..

What's red, squirms in the corner, and becomes ever smaller?
-A baby playing with a cheese slicer.

soul_ collector, Your mother is gonna string you up by the goolies when i tell her what you have been posting!

bad bad young man!

Haha, thanks guys!! I was just having a discussion the other day with a freind about these. We couldn't remember any of them!

how do you get 100 babies in a bucket?
with a blender

how do you get them out?
doritos


i'm really sorry if i have offended, disgusted or distressed some people with this thread but some others have had a giggle about it and the humor link does warn you about it.

kickycan and slappydoohoo are probably the most offended SC I'd prolly make a point of apologising to those two.

Yes, I'm highly offended.

Moving on to molestation jokes:

What's the best part about banging an 8 year old girl?
-You can flip her on her stomach, and pretend it's an 8 year old boy.

What's the best part about showering with an 8 year old girl?
-You can slick her hair back, and she'll look like she's seven.

What's the best part about twenty-eight year olds?
-There's 20 of them.

How do you make a little girl cry twice?
-Rub your bloody d**k on her teddy bear.

A man is hiking up a hill in the woods one day. He reaches the top, and there's a little girl crying hysterically at the edge of the top. He approaches and says, "honey, what's wrong?" She replies, "mommy and daddy...they fall off the edge, and now they're dead"
----"Well....looks like today isn't your lucky day," he says while walking up and unbuttoning his pants.

Yikes.

I'm outta here.

You're over the line there Slappy.

I'm sorry, tree hugging doosh. I didn't realize there was a line in a thread named "Dead Baby Jokes." Thank you for coming in and drawing the line. Next time, bring something to the table.