From the late Ted Hughes:
She looked like a Christmas Present from Easter Island
timberland: I am in awe! Whoever wrote that has a brilliant career ahead of them as a drill sergeant in the Marines.
Equus, there is a verbal facility there which would rank high among the qualifications required of the position, however, from certain word choices and phrasings found in the piece, I deduce more an Anglic than American author, perhaps, judging from the very last line, one with strong ties to the Administrative Branch of The Business World. None the less, the work is a masterpiece in the genre.
"Thou Whoreson Zed, Thou Unnecessary Letter"
Denise Robbins: I've just written my 87th book.
Barbara C: I've written 145.
DR: Oh I see, one a year.
There's some great stuff here!
I'm reminded of Winston Churchill and Lady Astor who hated each other but were forced by social standing to often be in the same space at the same time.
Lady Astor on seeing Churchill with his ever present cigar and drink in hand. Mr Churchill, you are drunk, drunk, drunk.
Lady Astor, you are ugly, ugly, ugly. But in the morning I will be sober.
Sitting across from each other at a dinner:
Mr. Churchill if I were your wife I would give you poison.
Lady Astor, if you were my wife, I would take the poison.
You're just jealous that she has a higher sperm count than you do ...
Mr Bennett (Pride and Prejudice) to his daghter Mary who is singing:
"You have delighted us long enough"
"Any character of yours, Mum," said the Cook superby, "is what I'd not besmirch my own possesion of which with the application of." T.H. White - Mistress Masham's Repose
He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla. If he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.
He's as smart as a whip-- literally.
They broke the mold BEFORE they made him...
If brains were water, he couldn't moisten a postage stamp.
His grandfather died in a Nazi concentration camp- slipped and fell out of the guard tower.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctors slapped yo grandmama.
Yo mama's so fat, they have to paint a line around her so they can tell if she's walking or rolling.
Yo mama's so ugly, she fell asleep at the beach and a dog buried her.
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you.
is an idiot.
-- Groucho Marx
[With sympathy for those with lowered mental faculties and apologies to the caretakers of any idiots out there, at the time that Marx said this, besides meaning a stupid person, the term idiot meant a mentally deficient personal with an IQ of less than 25, that is, equal or inferior to a child of two years of age. An idiot was the lowest classification of mental deficiency, below imbecile with an IQ of 25-50/child aged 3-8, and moron with an IQ of 50-75/child aged 8-12.]
And the 75-100 IQ level is now known as the "Bush Range."
Larry! LOL, you're BAAAAAAAAD!
Larry, add - "on a good day"
I know, billw - I almost reconsidered those numbers because they are too high, esp. on the son.
A thread worthy of resurrection
Ah, yes, my fine feathered friend. Your find apparently has found rebirth, albeit sliced into snippets.
That's true! This thread has some fine insults worth repeating