Insults

As to yourself, I have this to say about you:

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I wager
you couldn't empty a boot of excrement were the instructions on the heel. You are
a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be
seen with you. Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before
attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a
nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to
access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its
beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly
briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your
ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own
trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are
grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a
fool, an ignoramus.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of
unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have to us who think and reason? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight
than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for
the bite of the snake? You are a waste of flesh.
You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral
equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You
are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed
drooling meatslapper.
You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You
grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish
foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated
tosser.
You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter.
You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing
beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise
everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the
stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are
trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so
uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we
know. I'm sorry. I can't go on.
This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me
again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant
questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the
rest of this drivel. Duh.
I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of
babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned
to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.
True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for
granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget
that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more
difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never
read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right".
Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the
emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on
you.

You're an idiot. A moron of the highest order. You're so stupid it's a wonder and a pity you can
remember to breath. Intelligent ideas bounce off your head as if it were
coated with teflon. Creative thoughts take alternate transportation in
order to avoid even being in the same state as you. If you had an original
thought it would die of loneliness before the hour was out.
On an intelligence scale of 1 to 10 (10 corresponding to the highest
attainable IQ) you're rating is so far into negative numbers that one
would need to travel into another quantum reality in order to even catch a
distant glimpse of it. Your personality is that of a rabid Chihuahua intent on
destroying its own tail. Your powers of observation are akin to those of the
bird which keeps slamming into the picture window trying to get that other
bird it keeps seeing. You are walking, talking proof that you don't have
to be sentient to survive, and that Barnum was thinking of you when he
uttered his immortal phrase regarding the birth of a sucker. You are, at varying
times, tedious, boring, and even occaissionally earth shatteringly hilarious in your idiocy,
routinely childish, moronic, pathetic, wretched, disgusting and pitiful.
You are wholly without any redeeming social grace or value. If God ever
decides to give the planet an enema you'd better run like the wind because
anywhere you stand is a suitable place for The Insertion. There is no
animal so disgusting, so vile that it deserves comparison to you, for even the
lowest, dirtiest, most parasitic member of the animal kingdom fills an
ecological niche. You fill no niche. To call you a parasite would be
injurious and defamatory to the thousands of honest parasitic species.
You are worse than vermin, for vermin do not pretend to be what it is not.
You are truly human garbage. You are a fraudulent, lying, predatory
charlatan. You are of less worth than a burnt-out light bulb. You will
forever live in shame. You have nothing to say, and Godwin's Law does not
apply when writing about you.
You are the anti-Midas, for all that you touch becomes valueless and
unusable. Mothers gather their children close when you appear. You are an
aberration, a corruption, a boil that needs to be lanced. You are a poison
in need of being vomited. You are a tooth so rotten it infects the whole
body. You are sperm that should have been captured in a condom and flushed
down a toilet. I don't like you. I don't like anybody who has as little
respect for others as you do. Go away, you swine.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a
weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a
revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. You are a curdled staggering mutant dwarf
smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth
into this world. Meaningful to no one, abandoned by the puke-drooling,
giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of
what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species
as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I wretch at the very thought
of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are
vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this
earth. And did I mention you smell? Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep
won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for
attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are a waste of
flesh.On a good day you're a halfwit. You are deficient in all that lends
character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy.
You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness.
You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise
everything about you, and I wish you would go away. I cannot believe how
incredibly stupid you are.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. Maybe later in life,
after you have learned to read, write, study, spell, and count, you will
have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us
"normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of
mastering. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a
handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social
struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly,
deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent,
opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted,
racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic,
insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine,
conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic,
spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive,
double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic,
fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased,
suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy,
weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic,
jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing,
arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, and socially-retarded.
Shut up and go away lest you achieve the physical retribution your behavior merits.
Thank you for your kind attention to and expected cooperation in this matter.