Thou bawdy beef-witted bladder
"the brutal and cowardly conduct of a parcel of big ugly fat-necked wombat headed big bellied magpie legged narrow hipped splaw-footed sons of Irish Bailiffs or english landlords which is better known as Officers of Justice or Victorian Police"
Edward "Ned" Kelly, 'The Jerilderie Letter, 1879.
I remember watching "Parkinson", a BBC TV talk show some years ago. Michael Parkinson was interviewing John Wayne and he asked John to read aloud a speech from Hamlet.
JW (in his own inimitable style): "To be or not to be, that is the question; whether it is nobler in the mind................."
JW (To Parkinson) "Say Mike, who wrote this $hit anyway?"!!!
Don't be so open-minded, your brains will fall out.
She's so ugly she could make a mule back away from a oat bucket.
--Will Rogers
Quit telling us about the labor pains - just show us the baby.
After hearing a long winded, overly detailed, boring explanation.
my grandfathers favorite "i wouldn't piss down his throat even if his heart was on fire"
Your momma's so ugly, every time she walks into a bank the surveilance cameras shut off automatically.
She's so fat, when you ask her who she sat next to at the banquet, she has to answer, "Everybody."
Ouch, my momma what about your momma, she is so ... .
"His elevator doesn't go to the top floor."
You've opened the floodgates, P & L!
'One can shy of a six pack'
'Porch light's on, no one's home'
.....I'll leave room for more.
lights are flashing
gate is down
but there's no train coming
dyslexia.... that's funny!!!
OK.... I can actually name the person who said this one.....
Mark Twain: "He's half a bubble off plumb."
there are only 2 things I don't like about you...
everything you say and everything you do.
Some village has lost its idiot
