Ultimate Guest Worker Program

According to the Bush administration and the US senate, we need guest workers in this country, presumably to do the heavy lifting which Americans are no longer capable of.

I've got an idea for a sort of an ultimate version of something like that...

According to everything I read, gorillas in the wild are in danger of outright extinction, mainly due to human encroachment on teritories. Also from most of what I read, gorillas are basically bright, and very easy to get along with, as compared to chimps which should be regarded as dangerous.

According to some of what I read, gorillas are unable to master spoken English mainly due to lack of voluntary control of breathing which we humans take for granted. Nonetheless, a number of them have been taught to communicate amongst themselves and with humans using American deaf signing conventions, and the oldest of these, Koko, who is now about 35 years old, is said to have an IQ of about 100:

http://www.pbs.org/wnet/nature/koko/asl.html



They say that aside from signing, Koko understands several thousand spoken English words and can thus be set to tasks even by people who don't understand signing.

A very obvious way to save the gorillas thus suggests itself: Simply stop viewing them as animals, teach them ALL to sign, bring them to industrialized countries (since neither humans, gorillas, or anything else has much of a future living in African jungles), and put them to work.

Nothing which earns its living the old fashioned way by hard work and the strenuous life (as Teddy Roosevelt used to put it) is in any danger of extinction in this world. They're five to fifteen times as strong as we are through the arms and shoulders, and are good at climbing. There are still all kinds of places where people with those kinds of credentials are valuable. Heaving used engines and engine parts and transmissions into trucks in and around junkyards for instance, working at docks, you name it.

This would be the ultimate guest worker program. There would be no downside. No gorilla would ever vote for a demokkkrat, ever try to plant an African flag on American territory or be involved in anything like la-raza or atzlan, walk straight into the emergency room to have a splinter taken out of his hand, try to rent an apartment for himself and 75 of his relatives, or insist that ATM machines be in both English and gorilla.