Chai Tea wrote:
Heeven, in your example....where is it saying the boy is putting pressure on the girl to have sex?
When he gets angry after she says no. That's pressure there. A young girl is impressionable (and some women too) and the need to be cool or to be popular is important. A guy getting all upset with a girl can add up among these other already present emotions and may feel like pressure.
ok, I see it now.
and again, I'm prefacing this with the woman shouldn't get raped....let's take that as a given hence forth.....
but....can you blame the man for becoming at least a bit angry?
Not putting on the man, if a woman is fooling around with a guy, and all systems seem to be go....and the moment has arrived.....and he suddenly says "I've changed my mind" but is still laying there with an erection (or not) wouldn't the woman feel some instantaneous emotions, one of which could be called anger? I know I would.
I can easily visualize a situation where that happens, and the woman thinks "he must be joking" and continues to try to have sex. She might try to give him oral sex, because she's really in the mood, and he just suddenly "BOOM" says no.
If he said no again, if it were me, I'd realize he was serious, but honestly, I'd be pissed.
Would I rape him? No
Would I try to talk him or otherwise presuade him to have sex with me....well....that depends.....I might think he's an a$$hole, or I might be in such a worked up state I'd try my best to change his mind.
I just feel a woman has the responsibility not to let things get that far in the first place....
I always hear the scenerio that "she just suddenly changed her mind" When I could ask Why? The response would be, "it doesn't matter why she changed her mind, she just did."
Well, I think it does matter why she changed her mind.
If she went into knowing she'd bring things to the point of no return, and knew she'd change her mind at the very last second....well, that's just f*cked up....she doesn't desire to be raped, but she sure doesn't deserve much respect at that moment.
If there's a valid reason, like she suddenly realized the guy stinks, or she forgot her birth control....she needs to say something....perhaps the situation can be remedied.
If she has no idea why, just suddenly becomes repulsed, or disinterested, she should at least have the guts to tell the guy that too, or at least think up a plausable lie that won't get the guy all pissed off.
If a guy suddenly didn't want to have sex with me, I'd sure as hell think I'd deserve more of an explanation than "I changed my mind"
We're not talking getting attacked out of the blue.
If you've spent an entire evening with someone, and you do that, you do have a responsibility to explain. Christ, woman talk enough about stuff, why stop right then?
That's where I'm saying she is partially to blame. You got into the situation voluntarily, you got some 'splainin to do to get out. It's only the right thing.