Drawn to other men

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I was just reading the thread about having feelings while being married...I didnt want to hijack his thread so I started my own.

I find myself drawn to other men even as I'm committed/married to someone else.

Of course, I would never ever carry it out. Nor do I make it known to anyone.

This problem of mine has nothing to do with the problems I have with my husband. I used to be drawn to other people even before our problems started. I used to be drawn to other men even I was seeing with my ex-fiance (who was/is a great guy, we parted amicably).

My feelings are not entirely/always sexual or just about mutual attraction. I dont know how to put it. I love the attention that I get. It's not about one guy or a current crush but a lot of people! As far as I know, no one thinks I'm a flirt - I think (and hope!!) I come across friendly and "nice". (I'm often friends with the men's girlfriends/wives and cheating isn't even remotely on my mind)....but then there is that little something...I love the compliments. Colleagues, my friends, husband's friends...everyone's in the list!!

Why do I secretly crave for attention from men? Am I shallow?..am I inherently unfaithful? or is this normal?

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Quote:

Why do I secretly crave for attention from men?

It makes ya feel good, boost the confidence, and probably makes ya normal. lol

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Sakhi, if you already read the other thread, then you have all the answers that can be given. Attracted to one or attracted to many, we're all human, and as such we crave attention. We find ourselves attracted to others, and others attracted to us. It doesn't make us bad people, even when we find these feelings coming over us after we have already committed ourselves to one person. It's just the way we are built.
It is whether you are willing to act upon it or not that will determine if you are in trouble. Since you don't seem to be, based on your post, I'd say you will do just fine. Very Happy

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Re: Drawn to other men

sakhi wrote:

.... As far as I know, no one thinks I'm a flirt - I think (and hope!!) I come across friendly and "nice". ...

Most heterosexual men are going to think a woman is flirting if she fits the following three characteristics: young, thin and cute. Take any of those away and most men get that it's just friendliness, although of course there are men attracted to less thin women or older women or with a different idea of cuteness so there are variants.

I don't really behave significantly differently than I did when I was 19, but it's not seen as flirty any more, not by most men, because I'm 43.

So be aware -- you're friendly, you're being friendly, but not everyone gets the signals and some cannot read them or are suffering from wishful thinking and may be seeing something that you aren't putting out there because they want to see it. An old friend of ours had as her yearbook quote, "I'm not flirting, I'm just friendly".

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Quote:

Most heterosexual men are going to think a woman is flirting if she fits the following three characteristics: young, thin and cute.

Ain't that so? LOL :wink:

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Trust me.. seeking attention is only natural because we are human. Compliments boosts our confidence and self-esteem. I like attention whether coming from men or women.

Feeling drawn towards other men.. natural again. Following your attraction and cheating your husband, not good though.

Come on now... You are perfectly normal with proper balance of hormones Wink

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Thanks, makes me feel so much better Smile

...

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Drawn to other men

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