Counseling??

look in the phone book for the number of a local mental health association, they will be able to direct you towards a number of options

ask your family doctor for a referal, don't let your family doctor attempt a diagnosis, there are specialists for that

dolet your family doctor just perscribe something to help you, get a professional asessment from a psychiatrist or other qualified mental health expert

therapy works better than medication, but if meds are needed i've been told that they work best with therapy, not just meds on their own

Ask your doctor for a referral; he or she should know someone.

Thank you both for posting. I don't have a family doctor, could I go to a walk in clinic?

Sure, why not? One thing you can do is, you can contact someone who used to treat you, or who treats a family member, he or she might have some names. It's worth a shot.

PS I hope you find peace.

Thank you jespah.

I am so sorry. My prairie sister.

I recently reached out and found someone to talk to myself. I was very embarassed about it and kept it to myself, just tried to do it on my own. It was very hard for me especially considering I am usually the one doing the appt. arranging and support for others.
I have a few friends now that I've told, and also my mother. It's a huge load off my back to be able to be honest about it. Of course, it is personal and not everyone needs to know.

It's easier if you know what it is you want to get out of the sessions. It can be super frustrating being bounced from doctor to council to another doctor: can really get the run around.

You could go get a referral from your doctor. Or you could directly contact the Mental Health Org. Also, depending on what you are looking for, some of the Women's Shelters are a great resource.

take care of yourself.

Do you work?
Many times your insurance will cover mental health separately from your doctor.

Check to see if this is the case....with mine for example, you got a set # of visits for free, I called their hotline and gave me several names and phone #'s.

I was fortunate that I hooked up with a counselor that I soon felt very comfortable with. After those initial visists we continued for about a year or year and a half, with me just paying a co-pay. Funny, I initially went for a specific reason, but soon saw how I also needed help in other areas.

I totally agree with djjd62...get therapy first...might be all you need.

I had been telling my medical doctor for like a year and a half before I called the hotline there was something wrong with me....I felt like he was just chalking it up to "another one of those nutty pre-menapausal women"

he's no longer my doctor.

Good luck, I know what you mean about feeling embarrassed. I felt like there was something defective or missing in me. I was ashamed at first to tell anyone.....you're very brave and smart admitting you need help.

Also I fully endorse getting professional help rather than just relying on family and friends, no matter how much they love you...a therapist, counselor is "working" with you....I would feel, especially at first, like I had some sort of purpose, some assignment to understand for next week, it was learning about myself.

It is hard and a it is embarrassing.

I've gone through that a few times myself.

I sat on the phone and cried and cried and part of it was knowing I needed help and part of it was embarrassment in asking for help.

But I can tell you that it is worth the effort. Sometimes you just need to purge and get some feedback from a uninvolved third party.

I swear to you, the hardest part is in the calling and asking. You will be amazed at the amount of relief just that can bring.

Call someone blind from the phone book if you have to, walk into the emergency room if you have to, do whatever you have to. Thinking you need help dealing with things is a really good sign that you do need some help and a really good sign that you simply want to feel better.

I want you to feel better too.

you know, just a little aside....when I first went to find help, I was at a point where I couldn't even decide what to order from a menu in a restaurant.

They made it so easy for me to figure out what to do, step by step.

Way later, I had to call the hotline # for a different reason, paperwork stuff, and all of a sudden I realized how much had changed...I thanked the person on the phone for making it so easy to get help.

I said..."You know, if this had been at all complicated, I never would have been able to do it."

It was one of those times where I could feel I made that persons day, by letting her know that indeed, what she and others did really made a difference.

Oh, and I'm so sorry about your cousin.

Thank you all for your kind advise so far, and sharing some of your experiences. You've made me feel a little better about this whole thing. Now when I call this Heath number i'm not sure exactly what to say. Do I give them any information about what i'm going through, or just ask for information?

And I do have medical benefits, so i'm hoping they will cover some of the sessions. Thanks for mentioning that Chai tea!

Most likely they will know that you are experiencing some difficult times -- otherwise you wouldn't have called. Tell them that some things have happened that are making you question parts of your life and I'll bet they will know how to lead the conversation from there.

That's how it worked for me.

I think when they asked me why I was calling I said "I don't know" but they figured it out.

It is hard but not as hard as you think it will be.

Some of the stalwarts of a2k have mentioned seeking counselling themselves. Don't worry anymore about doing it. And people who have been through it can help you re whether the fit with the counsellor is apt or not.

I'll admit I haven't been counselled except once long ago, a toxic experience which sits like a small poison lump in my brain. But luckily I had friends who had positive, overall, counselling experiences and I have sort of ridden their coattails all these years.

If you found a number to call, all you need to do is tell them you're having trouble. They are usually very good, and will guide you and ask you things.
It's easier to call.
I showed up at a clinic first (on impulse, a very bad day) and bc I had to wait I basically freaked myself out. Once the lady got a chance to speak to me in the private room, I couldn't get the nerve to say what was on my mind. I basically bolted.
On the phone, once you've chatted for a while, they'll give you some referrals and set you up for the next move you need to make. Makes it easy. All you need to do is to continue to show up.

Good luck. You'll be fine.

oh yeah, don't worry about knowing what to say when you call.


When I called and they answered, "how can I help you?" I think my intial response was....."I.....I.....I...."

Kinda a clue there to ask some questions

(I can just see it, the person putting the phone on mute and saying to everyone..."I have another I.....I.....I.....on the line" They probably having a billing code for that and everything).

Anyway, let us all know what happens.

flushd is right, you'll be fine.

I don't know why it's embarrassing but like everyone has said, it's hard and it's embarrassing.

I spent several years in therapy after having to deal with a suicide. There is nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to be embarrassed about. I found that it was easier to tell a stranger what was going on in my head than it was to tell a friend or a family member. I didn't feel judged and the therapist wasn't feeling the same grief I was.

Social Services can help you out. Look up the department of health services or the department of social services (the name vaires from county to county) and ask for mental health resources.

YOu are not alone and you are not "crazy". Take a look at the people here who've sought counseling and you'll see it's neither uncommon or for "crazy people".

Good luck and remember that it does get easier.

One of the best "therapies" of MY life was in simply reading
The Road Less Traveled, by M Scott Peck. It WAS a best seller
years ago. ..but it does contain one particular timeless truth
because it tells you on page one that, "LIFE IS DIFFICULT".
And that to expect otherwise leads only to pain and trouble for then
we become dissatisfied with our lives as they are right now. And that
as soon as we stop moaning and whining about life being difficult,
being hard, being painful - THEN voila, we have reached the point
where we suffer far, far less as we go along in our daily duties. It
is only in the expectation that pain is a WRONG thing - or that it is
a mistake that anytime we experience pain, sadness, difficulty
or as a loss or whatever ... we cry out WHY ME?
Why not me?
The rain when it falls, does it seek out only one flower to fall upon?
Of course not. One of the best things I've personally gained from
long term family therapy is to accept life on LIFE'S TERMS, not on
my terms. Because, let's face it --- what choice do I REALLY have?
That is I believe the #1 principle to study upon; while we get to
know our fellows along this path, and we get to know THEIR pain,
their loss, their sadnesses. What I generally learn about myself
is that I make conditions for myself that are simply unreachable,
and then I am disappointed because I can't reach my goals. This
is a futile and worthless endeavor on my part, especially for I'm
doomed to failure from the start. We must be kinder to ourselves.
LIFE really is very, very hard indeed.

Hi everybody, thanks again for your replies!

It took a few days, but I finally called the mental health association today. It wasn't too bad, they just asked me a few questions to assign me the right counselor. The thing I am concerned about is fitting it into my schedule. I start a new job on friday which is mondays to fridays 8:30 to 5:30. I guess i'll figure it out soon enough. I won't be hearing back from them until friday at the earliest. It doesn't cost anything which is a bonus so long as I have my health card. I can't wait to start!

You've all helped me get the ball rolling, thank you.

InTransition--

You've accomplished the first two steps: You recognized that you needed some help and you arranged to get some help.

You have some hard work ahead--but you also have a lot of joy over the horizon.

Good luck.

I think you have made the first step of many steps that will
totally change your life. And I applaud you for your courage
and willingness to go farther on your path. Many people fear
being challenged by talking openly about their problems & fears
etc. Having been there - in sort of the same spot as you ... trying
to decide what to do next; you have now cut the overall problem
in half. The word DECISION actually is a derivative meaning to cut
into half ... and since you've gotten THIS far, you've
cut out the uncertainty about what to do. For me, this is
the hardest part. Doing is often easier than deciding. I wish you
the very best, and THANKS for sharing yourself with us,
InTransition. WAY TO GO!!!