Everything I never learned about kindergarten.

Yep, they have to provide interpreters. I talked to the principal about that too, he said no problem, just let him know, etc. The point is twofold; that I can communicate with him directly via ASL (yay!) and that, because he knows ASL and is already involved with the deaf community, I don't have to be a hardass about making them provide interpreters -- he's already well aware of all of that.

(Yay!)

(I didn't know ahead of time that there would be a presentation, I thought it'd be all about sozlet and I was just bringing her there -- on the feedback form we got I said something about that, that it would be nice to know what to expect, ahead of time.)

How cool is that, soz!? It is serious cool that the principal knows ASL. I'm betting sozlet raises up a crop of ASL speaking school kids there. Wonderful news.

They didn't say anything to me about any kind of assessment when we were there today so maybe Oregon doesn't do that. They gave me a little checklist of basic things and asked me to rate his familiarity with them.

We'll cross that bridge when and if we come to it I suppose.

About the "concerns" -- I certainly do appreciate all of the input here. I'm thinking of simply adding a little addendum to the sheet.

Mo knows he has sisters. The question is on the "how can we help your child settle in" questionarie. I really don't feel comfortable ignoring that they exist because is someone says "Do you have sisters?" he will answer "Yes."

He will probably talk about his "other mother" too, which is fine but I think the teacher should know who/what/where other mother is.

As of today the school has the court papers granting Mr. B and I psychological parent status. It is the only document that we have that proves his birthdate. If they bothered to read it (and who wouldn't?) they already know quite a bit about his situation.

So perhaps a short addendum is in order.....

I agree that some sort of addendum sounds good.

One thing is that there are a bunch of people involved in processing the paperwork and there's no guarantee that everyone will know everything -- as in, maybe a secretary looked at the psychological parent stuff and all that came out of it is a notation about his birthdate, and the teacher never sees anything else.

I like the idea of meeting with the teacher ahead of time. I asked that today, who sozlet's teacher will be, and they don't know yet because they have several different kindergarten classes and evidently assignments for next year aren't written in stone yet. Dunno how common that is. The closer to the first day of school, the more likely that they'd know, anyway.

Maybe I was being overly careful about the adoption status.

If you tell the school now that the adoption is pending, someone may say something to Mo like, "So you're going to be adopted!"...and then Mo, in turn, might say something to the bio-family. Would that cause a problem? If so, I'd recommend just telling the school you're his legal guardian, and announcing the adoption when it happens.

I've gotten the impression you don't want bio-family to know exactly when you're planning to do this, so they won't throw a wrench in the works. If that is the case, I wouldn't tell anyone else, either. You never know what might get back to them.

Rule of thumb for when a child is ready for 1st grade:

Can s/he touch the top of the left ear with his/her right hand? Or the top of the right ear with the left hand?


Remember, this is 1st grade, not kindergarten.

I believe both Switzerland and several of the emerging African Nations use this test for school readiness.

Boomer--

I'd mention that Mo has a complicated family and you and Mr. B. will always be available should any foot-noting be necessary. If the school needs lots and lots of information, they will let you know.

Definitely mention the adoption.

I was removed from kindergarden because of various matters with an assignment of my dad's (whence we lived in Alexandria, VA for a few months) and I had it in mind for not a few years that someone might find out I didn't finish kindergarden... sort of like those classic dreams where you can't find your highschool classroom, or you walk into a school room nekkid...

The adoption is a secret, I suppose, from bio-dad but only because we haven't spoken to him in 20 months. (He is, however, listed as the person who is "Never allowed to pick child up from school".) Everyone else is "in" on it.

I was just in the kitchen making tabouli (when life gets complicated, cook) thinking that I should keep my addendum basic adding that I will make myself available for further information. When I finished I came back and read Noddy's response and that confirmed my thinking that this is the way to go.

I'm not a bully, loudmouth, pushy woman but I do have the capacity to be heard so I'm thinking that any teacher that Mo will be seeing on a regular basis will come to know us both pretty well.

Now I'm just waiting for the vaccination report and wording out my addendum. Maybe by Thursday Mo will be officially enrolled!

Noddy, things have changed considerable now. By the time they're finished with kindergarten, all kids can count, read and write simple sentences. I don't know any child that has gone into first grade without being in kindergarten first and learning the basics there.

sozobe wrote:



That's so amazing and a great help to you for future dealings with teachers,
and the principal being involved with the deaf community. Something you
don't find every day in a school setting.

CJ--

When I read the little factoid about hand and ear, I was a 5-day-a-week Mother/Teaching Assistant in the entry class of a London Infant School.

Three of our kids were conspicuously immature--and all three had arms too short to touch their ears.

Next door, in Class 2, both immature kids had arms too short to touch their ears.

You can't teach any of the kids if two or three of them are too antsy to sit still and pay attention.

Well, my ex had a left right disability of some sort. Made him a perfect UPS driver helper (while getting his MFA) for furniture delivery in a big city, saying, go right to the driver then quickly waving an arm left.. To think he wouldn't have gotten into kindergarden..

Mo just passed the ear test with flying colors!

The other assessment questions are things he's mostly good at too - holding a pencil being the most difficult trick on the list for him.

Socially I know he's ready. In the last few months he has lept and bounded in the social arena. He is expanding.

I'm thinking seriously about zoo camp this year. It is only for a week but I think it will give me a good indication of how he does when he's "out there".

He really is a well mannered, amazing, compassionate, affectionate and tender child and I don't want to be an alarmist with the school but I do think they need to know that he amps up very quickly and he can be hard to settle down once he's going. That when he's going that impulse control is the first think to go down the drain.

I'd rather he be happy than brilliant and I really want to make sure that happy happens.

All eminently reasonable.

I like the zoo camp idea! (Sozlet went last year, different zoo 'n' all I know but she LOVED it.)

To put my teacher hat on for a minute, I would like to know all of this stuff before the first day of class, too. Not necessarily every detail, but the pertinent parts. Things don't really settle down for a good 1-2 months once school starts, to the point where it's out of crisis mode and into proactive/ preventive mode.

I think shooting for a meeting with the teacher before school starts sounds good, and maybe can render the addendum moot. Maybe that can be the starting point, asking whomever you talked to today about who Mo's teacher will be, and asking if it's possible to meet with him/ her briefly before school starts; and if the answer is "we don't know who the teacher will be," asking when they will know. (Or, as J_B alluded to, whether it's possible to tailor teacher to Mo.)

I don't think every school has one of these, but I've fallen in love with sozlet's school's secretary -- one of those people who knows EVERYTHING and explains it with patience and good humor. Getting ahold of that type and asking for advice on how to best proceed sounds promising, to me.

Oh and I'm terrible about left/right, too. If I'm directing E.G. in the car and say "right," for example, he'll say "right or 'other right'"? (I prefer to stick with north south east and west, but that's HIS weakness...)

Many if not most 5 year olds have poor impulse control, boomer. I wouldn't worry about that at all. I'm sure they're used to it. (It's just us parents that aren't!)

Other common things include separation anxiety, aggression toward classmates, inability to concentrate for more than a few minutes, and so forth and so on... These are all within the range of normal for 5 year olds. Kindergarten teachers have to be able to handle a whole classroom of these things going on simultaneously.

(Which explains why I am not a teacher. Makes me nervous just thinking about it.)

Okay - it is all filled out.

I decided to skip the addendum and just fill out my concerns on the little checklist/questionaire provided. I really started feeling like writing it up singled Mo out somehow and I don't want that to happen.

I put in enough to make it clear that this is a pay attention situation and that they should call me to discuss it if/when/whenever they felt it necessary.

We're going to walk it up to school now and he will be officially enrolled.

How 'bout that!?

Thank you all for your help.

Oh, yeah...

I did include a bit about the pending adoption because sometimes Mo says his name is Mo X and sometimes he says his name is Mo B. That might confuse the heck out of someone who didn't know what was going on!

Sounds great, boomer!

....and another two-generation, developmental milestone has been successfully passed.

Remember, the teacher is going to be seeing Mo as a member of her kindergarten class rather than a kid with a bundle of idiot adults in his past.

She'll be dealing with the September, 2006, model of Mo, not September, 2003.

Also remember, Mo isn't perfect yet--that is why he has 13-16 more years to mature. Every other kid in kindergarten will also be unfinished.

Hold your dominion.

The name 'thing' isn't too unusual.

I decided in Grade 1 that I was NOT to be referred to as ehBeth anymore. I was to be referred to as H. My teacher went with it, and just told the hamburgers when they came in for a sports day or something. I wasn't the only kid who did that kinda thing over my Kindergarten - Grade 13 life.

Kids are interesting.

That's why so many of us like spending time with them.