Asperger's Syndrome kids

Have you tried a search on google.com. The subject of autism frequently comes up and google is full of scientific literture on the subject.

Care and education of kids with this disability can be very expensive.

I've cared for two boys with Augsperger's Syndrome years ago as a respite care staff for an ARC agency in my county. Then, I taught special ed in a class with children who were "labeled" with Behavior Disorder or Emotional Handicap disabilities. One child aged 5 was very difficult to deal with and I did quite a bit of research online for this syndrome - I believe he is a "high-functioning" boy and there are many who are so. This is relatively rare and a genetic condition. There is not alot of history to go on for the long-term picture, but I'd feel confident in saying that there is not necessarily a rough go in the future for your nephew. If I can get to it, I will find you some great links - I searched through newsletters and journals common to special education teachers.

New Haven, I have searched Google and have found a lot of great information on it. I'm just curious to find as many first hand experiences with this as I can. I know there are different levels of AS, and I think that my nephew is not as bad as some kids...he doesn't rage, he's pretty happy outside of school, he's just a weird (and sometimes frustrating) little kid and we love him that way, but some people are taken aback.

Cobalt, one of the things that the fam is worried about is that he'll be set apart at school once the little piece of paper with his diagnosis is given to teachers and administrators. He's actually very smart and "gets" the information in lessons, but he has a problem writing answers to tests or writing homework...he has a major problem writing. But not reading or listening. I think they can keep him in a "normal" class but give him verbal tests and work, but do you think that doing that will make it even harder for him socially than it already is?

Also, one of the things I read that I found interesting is that a doctor recommended that since kids with AS aren't interested in socializing as much as attending to whatever little obsession they have, that if they test at a higher grade level it wouldn't hurt them socially if they moved up to a higher grade. He rationalized that it would be better for them intellectually and maybe even emotionally. What do you think about that? Would that be giving up hope that he'll ever be able to interact with people in a normal way?

There is not much information readily out there to look at for clues as to the future for your nephew. I see no reason that he cannot stay in mainstreamed or regular public school classes, especially at the higher end. And yes, with the IEP (Individualized Education Plan) he will be given more resource assistance than will be imagined. For instance, he could potentially be taking tests with the Resouce Classroom teacher and they can be read to him and/or scribed by a teacher. He will be considered for longer time on taking tests, and part of the resource assistance will be work on coping strategies. As for obsessions and socialization - parallel play goes on for years longer than other children, but I see no reason that as he ages he will not find ways to be included in high interest games and activities.

I have noticed that AS seems to be only recently looked at here in the US. I guess it's just going to be a matter of using the resources available as far as schooling goes, and worrying about problems as they arise. He'll be in group therapy for building social skills with other kids with his problem, and maybe that will help. It's just so hard to not have an instant solution for the poor little guy -- he's had problems ever since beginning school, and they've gotten progressively worse. At least now we know that he just can't help it, but it's tough knowing that he's the odd-kid out for eight hours a day. I remember how tough it is for "normal" kids in school -- especially the middle school years where he'll be in a couple of years -- and so I guess I'm just hoping someone will have some sort of miracle story of an instant fix or something. <shrug>

Thanks for taking the time to respond to this, I really appreciate it.

LibertyD--

You sound as though an official diagnosis of AS has the family rattled. Remember, your nephew is the same kid he was yesterday and last week and the week before except just a little more charming and accomplished because of the passing of time.

Also remember, that all of the coaching and extra help in the world is not going to make him a "normal" kid. He's always going to be a quirky individual. Unfortunately, other children aren't always very tolerant of quirks.

Home schooling might be a possibilty here. What sort of youth clubs are available? Scouts? 4-H? Junior Achievement?

You can't change the world--or the school system--but you can lavish love and attention on your nephew to help him develop the skills that he does have. He should also realize that a certain amount of writing is necessary in this world and he'd better learn a bit of penmanship and a few clerical skills.

After all, school is a place for learning skills for the real world. You want him to be able to function--and to think of himself as a person who can accomplish hard things.

What are his interests? Sports? Alternate sports? Astronomy? Creep crawly things? Art? Music? Animals? Find out and support his enthusiams with suitable equipment and rapt fascination.

You mention social problems is school. Is there any chance of some practical counseling with a professional who can help him work out coping strategys? You and his mother and his father and the Tooth Fairy can all say "Just ignore them", but a professional can make ignoring them seem possible.

As the mother and stepmother of a couple dyed-in-the-wool, hard-core Different Drummer kids, remember his parents will be eternally gratetful for some time off. Different Drummer kids are exhausting.

Good luck. Hold your dominion.

Hi Noddy...you're right, it's not the end of the world. He's an awesome kid and my mother (who raises him, not his parents) is definately hell-bent on keeping him out of "special ed" and trying to help him gain the skills that are necessary to survive in real life. I guess that the official diagnosis -- we've suspected this problem for a while -- just threw us for a loop.

It's just that most of the stories I find on the internet and most of the message boards devoted to AS only talk about the troubles these people have. No one in the family wants to believe that he'll always be the odd guy out, and I guess that's one reason I posted this question -- to hear that it isn't always as bad as some people make it out to be. So thanks for words of encouragement. It's starting to digest and I know that it won't necessarily be a bad thing as long as the ones who love him will understand him and stand by him. I'm very close to him and it just made me nauseous to think of him being teased just because he's a little eccentric.

He will be starting social counselling for kids with his problem (to teach them how to read faces and non-literal meaning in speach), as well as tennis and golf lessons, and I'm sure that all of that will be awesome experiences for him. And I know that you're right about parents needing time off, so hopefully when school is out I can let him stay with me and my husband here and there to give my mom a break.

Thanks again, and have a fabulous day!

Don't obsess too much about "special ed" and the stigma thereof. As Cobalt says, there are a lot of great aspects. Current laws are very very clear and strongly in favor of mainstreaming vs. segregation (this is something I've come up against a lot in Deaf education, since that is one area where segregation can be helpful), and so even with "special ed", you can expect that the vast majority of your nephew's school time will be spent in a mainstream environment.

sozobe, that's good to hear. I know I'm kind of freaking out here, and that once he and my mom start regular treatment with the psychologist that we'll learn more about what teaching methods are available. And I know that the worrying about whether he's accepted or not will subside but that I'll always worry (and probably would whether he had AS or not).

Another thing I've been thinking of is how to handle him having a label. I've always been one to fight labels, but this is a real and necessary one. Where is the line between being too easy or too hard on him? I'm sure that as his treatment continues, the answer to that will become more clear.

Yeah, I know what you mean about the line. I think the key is to keep your expectations high. I have seen lots and lots of situations where kids use their label to get away with things, and are allowed to. It's a natural tendency in kids -- "The dog ate my homework" -- and up to the adults to call them on it when appropriate.

LibertyD--

In many primitive cultures names are sacred and secret because to know someone's name is to have power over that person. In our "civilized" world knowing a name for a problem is a major step in gaining power over than problem and solving it.

Unfortunately some school systems are much more enlightened than others, but don't assume that your nephew's school is one of the snakepits of the educational universe.

I recommend reading Elizabeth Moon's The Speed of Dark: A Novel.
Her hero is autistic--a good step beyond AS. She writes with informed authority because her son is autistic. The book gives you a notion of what life can be like with a brain constructed along unconventional lines.

A backyard trampoline might be an excellent investment. Your nephew needs a bit of aggressive flight. Also, you have to be nice to the guy that owns the trampoline if you want a turn on the trampoline.

Is there any chance he could hook up with a Big Brother? I know the waiting lists are long, but having a friendly, non-judgemental adult in his life might be helpful for him--and for your mother.

Once you swallow the Official Diagnosis and start problem solving, you're no longer helpless--you're useful.

Give your mother a big kiss and hug for Mother's Day. She's a heroine.

Hold your dominion.

Also "Anthropologist on Mars" by Temple Grandin.

LibertyD--

Drawing the line--and making allowances. With my schizophrenic (and slightly retarded) stepson I figured that if he could remember Monday Night meant Monday Night Football, he could also remember that Monday Night was the time to put the garbage out for pickup on Tuesday.

Common sense will see you through.

Remember, you're not dealing with an abstract label--you're dealing with a kid--and AS kids have a strong grasp of law and order from their own perspective.

I'll definately look up both books recommended. I am also going to send this thread to my mom, who needs to hear encouraging words. Thanks for the input. And I love the trampoline idea, by the way...that's perfect!

Liberty - I heard you about your concerns for a "Label". In time, you may find that the Label is the thing needed to provide opportunities or to deny them. When my son was young, he was labeled "Developmental Delay" and that made a world of difference as to the classes he was eligible for.

Find out what "label" your nephew has in regards to school. I think he may be in the same category - as in physical disability caused by genetics as opposed to mental handicap or retardation. Each state has slightly different guidelines for the Label and this is the difference between good resources and lacking for some people.

Since my son was a "DD" that made him ineligible for many funding resources as he was younger, and then he got a label of "Behavior Disorder" in late elementary, so that opened up other resources, different than the former. As parents, we questionned and suggested and even fought against or for some Labels for our son.

When children get out of school, there is little more use of Label unless they are in a situation they need funding from the government or to be eligible for some supported housing arrangements. At present, my son at age 23 has gone back to DD as the label, and receives Social Security funding and Medicaid. He's come through with this and that Label just fine. Your family may come to decide that a Label is actually helpful, but time and situation will tell. In our minds, we cared little for what someone else felt they had to Label our son - just so he got appropriate assistance if he needed it.

Cobalt, that makes complete sense. It doesn't really matter what label he has, as long as it betters his schooling. So is your son autistic?

I confess that I don't know that much about this syndrome but from what I've read I most certainly would have been diagnosed with it as a child.

And, speaking only for myself, I can say that my absolute lack of desire to participate in social activities has never held me back from accomplishing what I've set out to do. Being comfortable in social situations or having gobs of friends has never been important to me and it never will. Honestly, I think it's helped me to chose good relationships that last a long long time.

Boomerang, that's interesting. I've heard that some specialists think AS is more common than previously thought, because it hasn't been considered here in the US until about fifteen years ago or so...and even at that, it's many times diagnosed as ADD or as some sort of schizoid disorder. I've read about a lot of adults who find out about the disorder on their own before actually being diagnosed with it later in life

I think that my nephew will grow to have the same attitude about it as you do -- which is a good one, I think. We figure that if we can just keep him from being bullied and can get the proper education for him, that's all that really matters.