Re: Help art historians in Ljubljana
dagmaraka wrote: What is he pointing at?
I will not sleep until I hear a plausible theory about what is going on in there. I am sure their historians would be very appreciative too.
So, what do you think that guy is doing? Who the heck is he anyway?
This is a medaieval painting of Lord Tavistock, commemorating the English victory at the battle of Vladivostok (1325).
The English were losing the day against the Slovakian hordes when, out of the ranks, charged Lord Ellpus the first. He galloped towards the heathen ranks amassed on the opposing ridge, dismounted not fifty yards from their footsoldiers, and casually removed his lower armour, thereby exposing the famous Ellpus genitalia.
So the story goes, the Slovakian horde thought that the English had brought a giant cannon into play, panicked, and broke ranks. This allowed the fine English cavalry to take advantage of their panic and confusion, which led to the English winning the day.
HOORAH!
The painting was originally twice this size, and Lord Tavistock is actually standing next to my ancestor, and pointing at what was then the first ever graphic illustration of the famous Ellpus todger.
Alas, the famous Ellpus todger part of the painting was removed in 1833, as Victorian style prudishness swept Europe.
It is rumoured that the famous Ellpus todger now hangs in the waiting room of a private Viennese fertility clinic, where women from all over the world touch it for good luck, as they undergo treatment. Some women of a nervous disposition have to wear blindfolds, and are guided towards the painting, and told where to touch.
John Holmes was said to have been humbled when he visited the painting in 1977.