Life: Looking Back, Looking Forward

That's why love is lovelier the second time around.

Calamity Jane--- I know you're right...and that is why I'm treading with care. It IS an adjustment for both of us, and I care very sincerely about how he feels.

Osso-- You very simply hurt my feelings the other day, but I'm over it and I apologize for my cavalier response. A wise friend suggested I may have been too sensitive and possibly came to the wrong conclusion. I appreciate your obnoxious pre-emption. I see that Vito is a bit comfortable with his little universe---and me blasting into it is not easy for him. As Calamity Jane pointed out, I'm also comfortable in my little universe. I think I may be better at the whole melding thing than Vito, so I'm being patient---but not being a doormat. It's going well so far. I do hope I may see you while I'm in Albaturkey.

Diane-- Sweet soul. I feel like you understand perfectly. Can't wait to sit with you and talk.

Good grief. We're down to intensive packing. We'll b dismantling the computer, so I'll be gone for a while. Dys and Diane---I'll be calling you tomorrow for address, etc... We're leaving at 5AM and hope to see ya between 7 and 8PM... I'll call you from the road....

Love you all!!

Happy New Year!!!!!!

Mismi!

Mismi??

Come here and get some sugar.

I'm here! You are so funny! I have just been reading through some of the posts...thanks for inviting me!

Sweety-- you aren't really depressed, are you?

I hope it was just Streisand...she can be a downer...haha

I missed you didn't I...sorry - I am playing and piddling around while re-directing and circumventing little boys from disastrous amusements. Can't always stay focused here!

I am enjoying my reading here.

GOOD! no, I'm not really that depressed....it was just Streisand...and that song always reminds me of a time that well..it's depressing! I do get that way pretty easily though. Can fall to my moods pretty easily...thank you for calling me over. Very kind.

So, huh. I'm beginning to think about community resources to bring into my classroom for a variety of purposes...and I was thinking about the Greeks. One of my classes is LOADED with shiny young girls who want to be teachers...and a few weeks ago, we had to describe a few "cultures" we claim belonging to...and MANY of them used the opportunity to do slide shows of all their lovely pictures of their lovely parties in their lovely dresses at their lovely sorority... So the first thing I think is "gross," because they're so elitist...and then I privately shame myself and think they could be spending their time doing much worse stuff...and then I hear about how they have many local projects and are really into mentoring relationships with local kids here...so, I'm thinking they may be a good local source to hook up with to help me jazz my children... The first "affective" lesson I plan to integrate is about diversity--for a few key reasons.

I plan to hit the Toastmasters, speech classes at UGA and other schools, the athletes at UGA... You Tube has great resources as well.

But, I'm thinking (even though diversity is to me equally about racial differences, learning differences, autism, hispanohablantes, social differences...) I can't get over that all of the pictures of all of the Greek gatherings had not one minority present. I can't get over that. They are a rich resource of help in the school system, but I SWEAR it's like they perform tasks down in the gutter and discuss it chillingly over high balls with Thad and Mumsy later.

I don't think I want that kind of hypocrisy/elitism around my children -- but if I refuse to use Greeks, am I denying more of my students what may be for them a positive experience?

Hi, Lash.
What makes those young girls so "shiny"?

... I'd also be interested in specifics such as telephone numbers.

Hi snood

You know the girls who have shiny blonde hair, perfectly styled, clean little dresses, already tanned in March--I guess that's my description of the quintessential sorority girl ... Stepford Wives in training... already thoroughly washed out brain cavity... shiny.

I don't even think they allow brunettes in... lol

Ha, Thomas... As beautiful as they are, you'd want to blow your brains out, trust me...

Thanks. You turn a phrase well - perfectly descriptive - I can see 'em!

OK--when you have met a same sex friend...and you know you have a tendency not to let people "in"--you have trust issues---and you don't feel quite cool about your new friend...and you decide to cut them loose...

Do you:
let them pick up on clues and just eventually notice you aren't returning calls...

or just tell them?

I always pick the socially retarded thing.

I think most people do the first, but I think that's meaner.

Depends



what is the back lash?

Will they ALWAYS call because they 'just dont get it'

will they be someone I will always bump into because they live close by?

Are they in my circle of friends enough to where I could hear about the things they may say or do.. Or can they effect me in any way ?

She did text me psychotically to find out "what she did"--and that leads to the problem of explaining a bad vibe. You just can't do that. But, no backlash.

What is the nicest thing? I need a seminar.

BTW-- I have a much worse situation...my BF who moved here from quite a distance...I have to break it off. I've never done anything like that--and surprisingly (I know) I'm not the smoothest in the social graces department.

any advice would be appreciated

Oy!

I have this tendency to try to tell the truth, but as un-rudely as possible. Not that I always succeed. Tricky to come up with any pat phrasing, as each relationship is different than all the rest.

With the same sex friend, if it isn't that deep and complex a friendship, maybe something more equivocal, like "I don't have the energy to keep this friendship up, but I wish you well."

With a couple of same sex friends in my long past, it got to be they were needily dependent, everything always about them. We all are needy messes sometimes, but as a mode of long term friendship there should be a balance, not just one person as therapist.

But with BF, truth time, as nicely as you can manage. Hard time. And definitely best not done at the height of aggravation. Maybe in a restaurant if you have any fear/qualms. (Dunno how that would work, then going home..) Not sure, haven't been in a serious relationship occasion like that in a long time. Decades even. (My marriage breakup after something like 22 years together was more complex, and well talked about in the doing.)

I did have a boyfriend who asked me to marry him once a year, that is, every New Year's. I wasn't in love with him from the get go, but we got along. I wasn't completely sure I wouldn't. Finally I was, and told him. I don't remember the scene, but I bet he does. We managed it well enough that we wrote a few letters, and he called once or twice when he was back in LA after having moved to Illinois for work; we had coffee and caught up re our lives. I still wish him well, actually, and am still glad I didn't marry him.