Is today the day?!!
It is, isn't it?!!
(Smiles broadly)
When will she surface?
(she's wearing his jammie bottoms - check out the mundane participation thread)
Weeee-hah, sweet chickies!!!!
After a hellified three plane trip (that ended with a turbo prop), I am so happily and cozily snuggled up with my Italian.
Frankly, I am scared shitless about adapting to someone after calling my own shots for a while with no questions...
But, I'm glad it's him. I think it may work out....
<hey ya JoeBlow!!!>
Oh dear.
I am really seeing how insecure I am.
Currently plodding through Advanced Relationship Adaptation without benefit of passing the prereqs.
Sitting snuggly on couch with his arm around me, kissing my forehead every few minutes...the nicest feeling in such a long time. I enjoy cooking for him, massaging those poor, tight muscles...He does a lot for me as well. I was making a list of money owed like I do before every student loan comes in---he saw his name on it and said, "No, baby. All of our stuff is together now. You don't owe me anything."
I SO do. He paid my rent last month. (...and he WILL be repaid!)
So many sweet moments.
He feels like home.
Looking forward to getting our own place in Athens.
He cancelled his utilities today, and told me I was stuck with him now...no backing out.
Heh. As if!
It appears my cohabitation with NV, now referred to as Vito, and close association with his sister (the Gangsta) and her husband (Don Cicci) will likely end in my arrest in the near future.
They related the story of their last lost weekend, in which Don Cicci employed the punch and run. He was thrown out of the bar they plan to take me to on New Year's Eve---and decided to run back in and punch the guy he was arguing with. He runs out to the car, yelling, "We have to go now!"
Can hardly wait...<laughing>
Meanwhile, a bit of the bittersweet and progress with Vito.
I was sending Merry Christmas/Happy Holiday IMs to my sweeties this morning and NY pops up to talk like we used to. Vito is on the couch. I didn't know quite what to do, so I talked like normal and just told Vito NY had popped up on IM. He says nothing.
NY asks how Vito and I are doing...says really sweet things... I feel bad about hurting him...wishing he could move on... But, thankfully, the confusion I felt about which one of them is right for me is gone.
NY is still trying to hold on. When we were together, he talked about his favorite part of "It's a Wonderful Life:" When Jimmy Stewart asks Mary if she wants the moon. NY used to say he'd lasso it for me. Today, he said he'd avoided watching it this year. He said he was going to copy it and send it to me. Frankly, I don't think I'll be able to watch it again.
I already think of him every time I see the moon...not something one can avoid. He used to stand in his driveway with me on the phone...I'm standing outside in Athens...looking at the moon together... We also stole Schmoopy from Seinfeld... "You're schmoopy." No, YOU'RE schmoopy!" Our online friends wanted to barf...haha
I've been sort of thinking the friendship is a bad idea for both of us. Not fair to Vito. I just don't know what to do other than not initiate contact and cut it rather short, like I did today.
Any suggestions would be helpful.
I've already hurt NY so much--telling him never to contact me again seems cruel. I tried it before...it didn't work.
Vito, I'm almost certain, knows I'm committed to him. I told him if any IMs ever pop up, he's free to read them...I also told NY weeks ago about this, thinking he may opt not to correspond ...Vito's welcomed to read over my shoulder at any time when I'm online...I gave him my yahoo password, because I want him to be secure. Still, if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd be wild with jealousy.
Perplexed.
Catching up with you Lash: so you moved in with Vito in NV,
or is he moving to GA to be with you?
I am happy for you, and you certainly deserve much happiness
and being spoiled rotten by the man of your dreams.
As for the IM - just switch your online moniker and tell the ones who
need to know with the exception of NY. Problem solved in an non-confrontational way. For him, you're just never online anymore.
Lash wrote:I've been sort of thinking the friendship is a bad idea for both of us. Not fair to Vito. I just don't know what to do other than not initiate contact and cut it rather short, like I did today.
Any suggestions would be helpful.
I've already hurt NY so much--telling him never to contact me again seems cruel. I tried it before...it didn't work.
Just briefly explain your current (committed & exclusive, by the sounds of it) situation to him very clearly .... & explain that regrettably, this has drastically changed the nature of the friendship you feel able to have with him. Also that you will now have little time for the sort of communication you had in the past. And follow through.
Hey Lash! Catching up with you and Vito and the love to last a lifetime. Sounds lovely for you and your guy.
So when will the two of you stop by Albuquerque for a visit? We are so looking forward to seeing and meeting you both.
Stay happy and content. You deserve it.
Sweet chickas! Thank you for the feedback.
CJ-- If i do what you suggest, I will appear to be ignoring him when he IMs. I can't stand to do that. He already IMs me when I am invisbible.
If I never respond, it will appear that I'm being mean. But thanks for the caring.
Msolga--- Thanks. I have done this. Your suggestion at least makes me feel confident that what I have done is a good first step. I seem to be on the brink of doing something more...but that something more seems incredibly painful to both of us.
My sweet D-- Hopefully Jan 2nd or 3rd? I am beside myself with joy at the prospect of wrapping you up in my arms!! I'll call when time gets closer to confirm dates. Thanks for your sweet support.
Maybe NY's feelings will fade in time.
Oh--I didn't answer CJ's question: I am vacationing with Vito in NV until the end of Dec. Then, we drive across country to Athens, where we move in together.
Oh, I thought you were staying in NV with him... I missed that you guys are going back to Athens. Good! What's worried me about this is the packing up and leaving what looked to be a pretty promising life you were making for yourself in Athens.
Merry Christmas!
(I am still doing double-takes every time I see your sig.) ("'soz,' what... oh, it's Lash's sig again... heh...")
Heh...I love your sig, soz.
Yeah, I thought about coming here (to NV to finish), but my lenders (school loan guys) couldn't do it---and I wasn't going to add a year on to my education (you have to take the last 45 hours at the school you graduate from...)
So, I knew I had to stay in Athens to finish... he decided he couldn't wait a year--- and he's the one making the sacrifices. (This made a huge difference to my family as well!!)
Merry Christmas to you too, sweety!
Lash, not meaning to sound mean, but it is a good idea to get him away from his mother for a year or more. For him to come to your part of the world is a great sign. (((((Lash)))))
Hah. Well, his mom died several years ago, so that's not an issue, but the sacrifice he's making was a really definite sign to me that he feels committed to our relationship. Thanks, sugar. ((((((Sweet D)))))))
Meanwhile, NY and I had a really personal conversation this morning via IM---very difficult to hear---and I felt cheat-y.
I have decided to just not use IM very often at all. I just won't turn it on. He still sends IMs that I find in archive, but if I answer very infrequently, he may move on...and I think the immediacy of the two way conversation leads to far more personal comments than a message left in archive.
Vito is very moody today. I knew already when he's tired, he gets quiet. But, I think it's more than that. Ugh. He still smiles, but just quiet. He knows NY and I were IMing yesterday and today. Ick. Discomfort for me---and I guess him. I think my idea will take care of it.
Report later.
As Bugs Bunny would say, "Unlax, Doc!"
Exlax is more like it....
I do hope everything comes out alright
Yeah---I'm beginning to think I should blow it out my ass...heh
Currently furious at myself for putting NY's feelings over Vito's...seemingly.
Resolved to make serious changes.
I'm such an effin piece of work sometimes.
you know Lash sometimes you're just an effin' piece of work but sometimes you're just a pain in the butt.
