Life: Looking Back, Looking Forward

LMAO

NY is back.

NV, hanging out in the parking lot for next change of the guard...

Nah. I'm not committed to either....

Son says I'm trying men out like he tries out cars.... (Had to remind him, I've only tried out one...)

I lmao.... He did, too....

Went to great bluegrass event last night at really excellent venue in Ath....Had a freakin blast....partied with band...met oodles of fabulous peeps.... Life (at 11:54AM EST) is good...LOL

NY sneaks up on the rail....

Test driving's good.

Don't want to go vintage unless the steering's been checked.

<screams with laughter>

bode o yas...



oh hell,.....giggles

...wondering if NY can scare up pre-break up happiness.....

Oh for Bob's sakes!

I got brave and started going out with local men...when it rains it friggin pours. Not touching any of them, though. <giggles> Going to see Stardust with Middle Aged Dating Poster Man tomorrow night (<---called me for spontaneous dinner date tonight...but I was talking to NY)....pool date with the Guy Who Kissed So Good I Dropped my Pocketbook Last April next Thursday night... (but I can't kiss him this time)

Other Guy can't find spot on my dance ticket, but we have a good time...(even though he wants to move into actual dating....and me, NOT...I've told him a few times...ack) Between work and school, I can only go out once a week... He's a really nice guy.

NY asked if he can meet me in Oct and is looking for flight.... Told NV is neither of us has a big love by age 50, he should call and we'll move in...."Friends" references are so funny....they had deals to marry by 50 if they didn't have a love...and NY says I'm his "lobster" <----a Phoebe reference....your life mate...<giggles> The only way I could bear being called a lobster...LOL

More important than all of this, I've been talking to friends about my Pre-emptive breaks (heretofore known as my Iraqs) and I've been finding out things about myself. A lot of people do this.... Based on a screamingly intense insecurity and fear of rejection. Also stems from being too open-hearted. My idea of love is no holds barred and without a net.

I see that I have to change that. The high is incredibly high....but lows---too low. I have decided to save myself the unnecessary pain of going through this with the wrong person...and hold back...

I really didn't know that was possible, but I'm doing it ok so far with NY. We both sort of "backed up" a bit. Going slower with what we say---holding on to feelings a bit before sharing them. Trying to stay in the moment---not look back or ahead....which is funny as hell considering the name of the thread....

In the moment...

This is quite a challenge for me.

Talked to his daughter tonight....omg... She'd missed me. I'd missed her so much.

The cool thing is----I'm not all strung out on what's going to happen.

Reframing rejection. No more Iraqs.

Didn't know I was such a disaster.

Doing better.

The relationship with NY is feeling so much better than after the break...might have another chance...

Cheering for you.

{{{{{{{{{{ Lash }}}}}}}}}}

Just got caught up with your love life. Please enjoy sex with NV guy and get really serious with someone less, well, (old fashioned is putting it lightly). He sounds lovely and loveable and attentive and all those great things, so why not continue with good sex once in a while and keep looking for someone a little more...enlightened?

I know that sounds really slutty, but I had a friend who did this successfully--both she and the guy agreed to this kind of relationship. I've always envied her nerve and independence. Trouble is, you do sound seriously attracted.

Hope the NY guy works out. His daughter sounds like a sweetie and so does he. It is a little less intense, but there is still something worth staying with to give it a chance.

(Can't believe I'm giving you advice on your love life--I didn't even have one until I was sixty with you-know-who!).

There can't be too much emphasis on what the others have said about making a life for yourself--career and independence, things you've never had before. There is where your real freedom is, where a real foundation can be found to keep the insecurities in check. And the thing is, you have everything it takes, you are getting so close. You can really do it.

I'm inspired.

And a little tired after reading this thread.

God to be 46 again.

I saw that I said I'd never have a romantic relationship with NV a few weeks ago....<LOL>

damn, Diane, you're right. Reading this thread IS exhausting. Thanks so much for stopping by...always love to hear from you.

Update: hahahaha

Life is good.

I was walking down a hall at UGA and NV calls: "I've been thinking about you and us. I want you with me. I love you. You are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I'll do whatever it takes to be with you. It's not about how you look, or another man wanting you...I just realized that I can't stand the thought of my life without you..." This man has never stuck his neck out like this. It was a huge departure for him. I walked straight into a corner and cried....what a putz! He's crying and laughing, I'm crying and laughing... I never thought he'd say those things. I thought he felt it, but wouldn't say it, because of being hurt by his wife and recent girlfriend. But, I shouldn't have to divine his feelings. He said he'd shut that part of his life off, and decided to base relationships on sex, not love... to prevent feeling like a fool with a woman again...

(My ultra cool, close to the vest, laidback Italian...) He says he wants to come get me and everything I own and move me in with him... NOW!!... haha Words like that come easily for some people. He's had to go deep for them. Means everything to me...

NY and I were laughing today. We had to have a conference on where our relationship was. Neither knew. If I wasn't in love with NV, boy would I snap this guy up. His daughter sent me a note on Myspace today....I sent her some jewelry last week. Love her. She needs a female figure in her life...her mother is a fruitcake. Even if I do move to NV, NY, daughter and I will always be close. Can't bear to lose sweet people. I told him I can't do this two man/one woman thing anymore. He has put in for another conference, but no. We're just going to flirt torridly, call once in a while, and I'll stay connected to his daughter, and send trinkets once in a while... The confusion was making me sick. NV loves me, has been with me, and needs me. NY could have any woman he wants. I don't know why he's still alone.

Yeah. I know I'm a fixer. I want to make NV's life good. He makes me happy. I'm comfortable with him. Love his lifestyle, his sweet face, the way he watches me, smiling, when I'm not looking... We're like peas and carrots.... <giggles>...and now he finally admits he feels the same way...<she floats to the ceiling>...He said he's never met a functional family before....he won't know how to act when he meets mine...He meant it to be funny, but it always makes me sad to think of how he grew up.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Italian is kicking my butt...hard to learn languages...I don't know if it's age or what, but I definitely feel this part of my brain has slammed shut. Love Native Georgraphy in Georgia!!!!, Opera in Romanticism!!!!! and Black Lit rocks!!!!!! Have to finish. May want to get Masters' in NV.... <smiles>

Middle Aged Dating Poster Man touched my leg in the movie. (consterned) He called Wed night....quite a BRIEF call!!! (Touched my LEG!!!...LOL...There was a DISTINCT no touching rule!!) Other Guy and I will play pool tomorrow night. Great Kisser Guy and I are on for pool next week...his daughter's softball team had extra games...precluded our event...<no kissing, though....giggles>

How lovely to have found two such wonderful men. I really believe I'll have a "second date" (LOL) with NV in December, a third over Spring Break, and if things stay cool, take my Masters' in NV. It appears NY and I may meet, but with friends, not on a date. Life feels nice.

Thanks for hanging with the drama chickies!

I have one question. Why is this thread in the "Aging & Elder Care" forum? Shouldn't it be in the "Gettin Younger and Hornier All The Time" forum?

Yeah, I know, that's two questions. So sue me.

I remain unconvinced until you get out of this rabbit tharn and be your real self with NV. We know you, Lashie. You can't do adorable sexpot forever, in all discussions.

Not that I'm Ms. Philipotta Experta.

Maybe you can. 46. Let's say 34 years....

I thought one of the Admins was fuCkin with me. LOL

Wow osso. 34 years. That would make anyone, no matter how much in love, think in terms of decades, aging, having to travel to see family.

Not cold water, Lash, just reality. We all care for you.

His milieu is a completely different environment than my former relationship with my husband was. We talked politics, current events, social issues... NV wants to fish, take walks, be in the moment, casino, ...he's a fun guy.

I like fun.

I remember saying I was disappearing. I guess it's just a different dynamic.

I think maybe my poor word choices have done a hatchet job on NV.

My fault.

<smiles>

ANYway...

Sweetie, please know that I love your being happy. It's just been such a whirlwind.

Look at his job record and how his other relationships broke up (I know, you'll only get his side, but how he explains can say much more than words). What does his family say about him? Is it "Oh poor NV, what a hard time he's had?"

Try talking politics, current events, social issues. Those are things that mean so much to you. Other than fun topics, does he really care about the social and political life of this country and the people who live here?

I ask because I know you care very deeply.

I think I've just discovered lash's alias ...

New York
Rudy Rudy Rudy!!!

...





lash looks fab-o in the white suit!

Ab-fab indeed, but she could do soooo much better!

Don't worry. Divorcing Giuliani shouldn't be so hard for Lash. It's been done before.

Thomas, on spot as usual.

Hey---He's ITALIAN...bet he's a hot lovah!!!

Hope his woman cuts ass!