Divorce or not??

Staying together, or not, is ultimately your decision and we cannot tell you what to do. I suggest counseling as a stopgap measure while you think of what to do, and it may very well help and not just pass the time. If he will not go, then go alone.

Thanks a lot for all your advice...really came in times and make me think twice again about my decision....

Actually, I have 2 kids - 2.5 yrs and 4.5mths baby...My husband started this 'affair' when I was in my last mth pregnancy.... Oh man, that stinks. And, that means it's been about a half a year or so.

I paid all the house expenses - everything you name it....and he just use his money for his own.....I think I'm capable to survive on my own + 2 kids.....I know without him, I can stand on my own.....cause I trust and love my kids more than anything else.... You are definitely capable of standing on your own two feet. Sounds like he hasn't contributed much to the household. This is not a good situation for you to be in.

Yesterday, we had an argument again...He promise and swear that he will never ever see her again or call. I told him clearly that it mean STOP!!!..He agree and even cried to me to ask for chance (that was 1 mth back)..... This is pretty easy to predict behavior. The question is whether it's sincere (see below).

Yesterday, I found a credit card bill mention that he check in hotel on last Thursday while I was away for business (my job need me to travel extensively).....when I confront him, he said if he tell me, I won't believe it - "The girl call and said her house is out of electric and scared. Ask my husband to send her to hotel to stay for night, but, she has no enough money to pay for the bill"...So, my husband act as hero, paid the hotel bill and went back home (do you think it is true?).... Nope. I think it's total BS. If it was even remotely true, a person who is supposedly swearing off contact with a third party does not suddenly hand over cash for them. I don't see how this could be true at all.

Before he tell this to me, he even promise or swear to heaven that the girl and him is TOTALLY no communicating So the hotel bill proved that that was not true. .....but........then, he said, the reason, he change handphone password, lied to me, because he don't want me to feel sad and upset again How nice of him to want to spare your feelings. He should have thought of that before having an affair. .........also, he NEED some privacy (of changing password to mobile phone and internet access) for himself!! He's mildly right in the sense that he, like everyone else, is entitled to privacy. However, he forfeits a lot of that when he starts sneaking around. When he makes himself untrustworthy, he cannot blame you for not trusting him.

He said he and the girl is only just friend A friend who he gives money to. Riiiight. and the girl make him promise that if she has some difficulties, she can ask him for help Then he should have refused. He's not the welfare board, he's not her Dad or brother and he is not supposed to be her personal knight in shining armor -- he's supposed to be yours. .....which that is why he help her regarding hotel bill, electric black out..... If she's so irresponsible and poor that she cannot pay her bills, she is leeching off him, assuming he's just her friend and that's all it was. So that means she was using him and is a lousy friend. But I think we are all going to come to the same conclusion on this, and that it wasn't about him being some sainted friend to this poor, frightened young lady.

Furthermore, he said, now, just because of his simple mistake - for me, he is criminal.... Mistake? It stops being simple when he persists after promising not to.

I really really at lost and no concentration on my work!!! That's understandable.

I stay in Asia region.....

I just always ask myself " What did I do wrong that I deserve he treating me like this?"