Modern Genesis

Modern Genesis

In the beginning God populated the earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's and Krispy Creme, and Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yea," and Woman said, "And another one with sprinkles," and they gained 10 pounds. Then God created the healthful yogurt t hat woman might keep the figure that man found so fair, and Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane, and
combined them, and Woman went from size 2 to size 6.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad," and Satan presented
Thousand-Island Dressing and garlic toast on the side, and Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said, "I
have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them," and Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak
so big it needed its own platter, and Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then brought running shoes so that his children might loose those extra pounds, and Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels, and Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brim ming
with nutrition, and Satan peeled! off the healthful skin, sliced the
starchy center into chips and deep fried them, and Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite, and Satan created McDonald's and it's 99-cent double cheeseburger. Satan then said, "You want fries with that," and man replied, "Yea, and super size 'em," and Satan said, "it is good," and Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery, and Satan created HMOs