Humorous Twist on the Nigerian Scam

This is a clever and funny takeoff on the Nigerian scam we all love to hate.


Dear Esteemed Colleague,

I am the son of the president of West Flakkebjerg, a little-known Scandinavian island east of Greenland and west of Denmark. The prevailing climate in our small country is gray, cold and harsh. Perhaps this fact has, temporarily, had an unfavorable effect on our tourism industry. Tourism has been on the verge of really taking off for over six decades now.

But we have been assuring the populace of imminent good fortune in this regard. You are no doubt familiar with recent scientific findings on global climate change. The implication for West Flakkebjerg is wonderfully positive. Global warming will soon transform our beaches from their present ice-clogged state into an azure blue paradise that will rival Miami, Costa Rica, and the French Riviera.

Despite this indisputable fact, some political factions in our country are growing restive. We fear for the stability of our government, notwithstanding the assured bright future of West Flakkebjerg's tourist industry. Therefore, we have implemented a contingency plan by establishing an offshore bank account (this is highly confidential - hold this close, please.) If internal dissident factions should rise to power, we intend to provide for a government in exile in the United States.

We are unable, ourselves, to accomplish a transfer of these funds to U.S. financial institutions without triggering unpleasant legal and political repercussions in West Flakkebjerg. Therefore, I seek your assistance.

Would you, for a fee, consent to accepting transfer from our offshore account into your own account in the amount of $100,000,000? Of course, you must later surrender these funds to us, minus a fee to you to compensate you for your trouble. If you will agree, I can offer an immediate transfer of $500,000 into your account as a good-faith installment payment on your total commission of $5,000,000.

I cannot guarantee that we will transfer the full $100,000,000 and pay you the full $4,500,000 balance on your commission - that will depend on how political events evolve in my country. In any event, you may retain our $500,000 installment payment with our thanks, irrespective of whether we exercise an option to transfer the full amount later.

This will cost you nothing - please do not send us any money. We ask only that you be discrete, mentioning our business arrangements to no one. If you agree we will, forthwith, transfer to your bank account our good-faith payment of $500,000 as an installment on your total commission of $5,000,000 should we later exercise the full option.

All we will need from you is a little documentation to satisfy bureaucratic requirements: your name, birth date, place of birth, social security number, your checking and savings bank account numbers, a list of all the property you own including real estate and securities and where located, the names and birthdates of your children, and photocopies of the following documents: passport, every credit card you hold, your fingerprints, birth certificate, driver's license, marriage license (if any), voter registration card, library card and supermarket food discount card number.

I hope you will consent to assist us. Please reply to this message with an e-mail addressed to [email protected], and we will complete arrangements. Irrespective of your decision, we would be delighted to receive you as our honored guest in the Presidential Palace. We invite you and your family to stay for a month, gratis, using the Presidential Palace as your base of operations while you tour our country and get to know us better. Bring your bathing suits.

Sincerely yours,
Olaf Svenson