THE MOST POIGNANT STORY ABOUT VIETNAM WAR

When reading this diary , I decided to mark some remarkable and poignant pages to quote and translate . But finally , I found that I had marked nearly every page in Dang Thuy Tram 's diary. It 's hard to choose some . I wish I could translate the whole diary for you to read , but my English vocabulary and grammar limits and the new school year is on the way , I'm lack of time . Hope that one day , my proud book will be published in your country . I have known one more interesting thing that Thuy Tram used to study at the same high school with me
Now let's see what she wrote at the very first page of her diary :
" The most valuable property of a person is the life . In a life , people can just live once , so we have to live meaningfully so as not to feel deep regret of the time we used to live uselessly , not to feel ashamed of the time we used to live uselessly . Till the time we leave this world , we can proudly say that :" in our whole life , our whole soul has devoted to the most beautiful cause in the world : the cause of strugg for the human liberation ."
N.A.OSTROTSKY
" Life has to suffer from the storm , but never lower our heads before the storm"
That was what Thuy Tram wrote at the first page , have you ever written something like that in your own diary ? I think her line is like the cliche but it itself was the motivation that helped our heroine to overcome difficulties of war .Quoting these lines , I do not want to tell you how I feel about Tram's soul , I just want to show and let yourself feel . However , she was an optimistic woman who had a sensitive heart but very consistent mind in the work . Above all , it was a vindictive hatred for the aggressors and traitors .
I think I have to tell you briefly about Thuy Tram 's biography before you read the lines below: Tram was the elder sister in a family of 3 daughters . Her parents are both doctors so they were the intelligentsias. Thuy Tram was a Hanoiance but after graduating the medical university at the age of 22 , she went of her own record to work as a doctor in a far far away land called Duc Pho , Quang Tri . It was one of the most violent battles during the war .
Here are some dates in her diary :

" 22.4.68
Huong! Was Huong dead ? I was stunned by the thunder-like news as if I were in the nightmare . When will this anguish end ? Now a person lays down , tomorrow , one more is going to lay down . Bone and blood piled in heaps like a mountain of disgust against our eyes . When! When and when my dear fellows ? When can we drive the bloodthirsty predators from our country ?
Now it ends, many nights confiding together in a whisper will not exist any more . The deep and sentimental voice of Huong is now very clear in my ears . She praises and encourages me , extolling my faithful love . Now it ends , many times swimming together in the stream and together sharing a cup of sweetened porridge. I remember the day meeting Huong near the spring in Nghia Hanh , Huong huged me tighly in her arms , kissing my hair , my cheek and both of us had tears welling up.
Looking at uncle Cong , who is still placid and has not known about that thunder-like news , I feel tormented as if someone salted my trauma . Loosing a daughter is much more painful than loosing one's gut . Uncle ,please repress your tears if you know this news ! And Quang , the faithful man waiting for Huong for many years , will never achieve his dream . Your Huong will forever lie at rest in your native soil . "

"17.5.68
The war is still going on , the death is still happening every day , every hour , every minute ,as easy as anything . Yesterday night , Thin and brother Son were talking to me . Thin advised Le to buy material to make clothes , this night , they are just 2 bodies lying in the land of Duc Pho , where they had set foot in for the first time. Too easy to die , there is no way to beware of that loss. How sad !
What Lien said is quite right : Behave toward people with the honest love so that we will not regret when our friend died that when he was still alive , we had not love , protect and help mutually . I myself did as she said. For a long time am I soulful with all of my friends , a generous but very heartfelt affection . All of the patients in this hospital , in seriously ailing time , are treated by my sense of responsibility , my intimate compassion . Even when they feel so strange , they will later have a strong attachment for me as a close doctor . They call me "Second Sister " , they call themselves my younger brother although they are older than me , they played with me and coddle themselves with me as well . Among these formidable days , I have found the happiness and consolation from them .

" 4.6.68
The rain is still pouring down ceaselessly. The rain makes melancholy penetrate into the hearts of people. And the cold rain makes me extremely crave for the scene of gathering with family . I wish I had wings to fly back to my tiny house in Lo Duc street , to have a meal of vegetable with parents and sisters , and to lie curl up in the cosy quilted blanket and fell sound asleep. Yesterday , I dreamt about the restoration of peace , I came back to meet my relatives.Alas ! The dream of peace has been restless in the mind of 30 million of our compatriots for such a long time .For that peace and independence, we have sacrificed everything . Millions of people were willing to devote their whole lives to these 2words : independence and liberty . So was I , I also sacrifice my own life for that great cause ."

" 8.10.68
The sparkling sunshine at the beginning of this autumn is inundating the whole forest . This sunshine of the beginning of this autumn along with the wind has my heart wrung with pain . Remember again , the very immense and deep remembrance is like the ocean bed embracing VietNam strip of land . I miss the gentle and private friend living in a small house at the end of Doi Can street, miss the naughty girl with soft hair , miss a southerner brother who has sent me a letter to say good bye before setting off to study , miss another dear brother who has glistening eyes under long eyelash and miss so much a beloved person forever resting in peace on the coast of hometown.
My country! When will this remembrance suside , when will this country be in peace ? I know that the victorious day won't be so far but why do I feel that happiness is still mighty distant . I don't know whether I can see that happy day . "Communists love their lives so much , but if necessary , they can also quietly die. " Die but still love the life , the life for which people have to pay a heavy price during 30 years : perspiration , tears , bone and blood."

To all of you : There are many pages I want to translate , if you respond , please tell me and I will write more . The diary is very long and you don't want to read the whole immediately , right?
To anonymous : the story of Thuy Tram's diary is introduced at the very first page of the book . I admit translating the content of that story . Is there anything wrong? This does not mean plagiarism , does it ? You are a Vietnamese , right?
To Mistermicawber : thanks for your interest . I promise to translate much more . Because you are an American.
Wait for the next post
TO BE CONTINUED

" 1.11.68
...
How strange ! In the sombre forest where the rain pours down continually , before my eyes was clearly a brilliant flower garden in the beautiful sunset of spring . Bunches of rose , gladiolous , peach blossom are blooming fully of flowers . A beloved friend and I walk together . That peaceful scenery is so far away , Thuy! When can the South enjoy that splendid season of flower ? Here , lethal weapons are still the heavy burden on people's lives . Yesterday , a 21-year - old boy who was scarred with wounds called my name just in hope of being cured , but I had to shed tears , looking him die on my powerless couple of hands . So , Th , in this South , flowers of victory , flowers of heros are always blooming but those flowers have to be grown by bone and blood , by the whole youthful lives of many people . Thuy is walking in the South , in that flower garden, feeling great admiration and pride , but also the great anguish when looking those flowers falling . In the previous time , Th loves flowers , now Th still loves them but Th more and more understands the beauty of FLOWER - and that love for flowers has developed so much the sense of love , disgust and pride of a Vietnamese . "

" 3.11.68
The North has gained peace and independence . The unjust sound of falling bomb has been dumb in my dear North . The North! The happiness is radiant on 16 million faces but those smiles still remain a misery because of the South , the South is still heart-rending with fire and sword , the South is still full of growl of the devil incarnate . My parents and my dear people outthere are happy today but can't stop feeling touched when thinking of the South and me . So cheer up , even though it is not an intergral happiness . "

" 25.11.68
There are heaps of work to do , I have had a headache and feel tired . I just want to come back quietly to the desolation of love . But wish is just a wish , reality is reality : the heart-rending moan and cry of patients is always in my ears , the stressful work is coming before my eyes with its various look : complicated , difficult and testy as well . "

" 26.11.68
A birthday in the sound of guns boomed in sucessive salvoes on all sides. The aggressors stage raids. I also get acquainted with the sceneries of carrying the backpack on shoulders , leading wounded soldiers to run away . No problem , 2 years familiar with fire and bullet of war .
Now , the forest is specially quiet . The shot has stopped , people keep quietly to monitor the situation . I myself suddenly am eager to remember the tranquil time in the North - it is also the sunshine of winter but it is so warm because of the full joy , parents bought flowers to give me , celebrated a party , friends came and congratulated... Now , my dream is different from it was before , if it comes true , let's privilege for people facing dangers for 23 years , young people who grew and just knew the anguish , hatred and sacrifice . And let's privilege for my beloved people in this Southern land . Mom and dad! Get ready with your whole sense of mercy to greet me and your Southern sons coming back . My brothers will deserve your affection . "

" 18.12.68
Can't be like what Mui said . Our way we are walking on is the way of friendship , it can't be the warm and bright way of love . So , before , now , and forever , I just consider Mui as a friend : understand , believe and fondness . That's enough , Mui . We needn't and can't develop our relationship.
........
Tonight , I'm on duty . The dim light in the small house , the moan of patient make me feel so sad . The remembrance with love overflows in me is stronger than ever . My intimate people! Does anyone penetrate my mind ? "

" 23.12.68
Memory 2 years since I had set food in this land . 3 o'clock , this time 2 years ago , the car was carrying me into another way . A mighty arduous way that Th knew before stepping on .
However , today , after 2 real years , Th still feels unhappy when looking back to the obstacles on that way . Don't be sad , that is life . There are aromatic flowers and brilliant sunset but there are also black clouds making the sky turbid. In a year , there are both sunny and rainy days .This afternoon , Th knew how to restrain the testiness to hold the notebook , smiling and teaching students . This night , Th knew how to calmly smile before the reaction of a person who was harmed his interest . So now , next to the lamp and the tiny notebook , why does Th have tears welling up? Don't cry , Th !Be calm and steady because you are a right person . If you cry , clutch one intimate person's hands to confide . As for the obstacle of life , the challenge and the danger ,hope that Th will keep the smile that Th usually do . Even when inside it are plenty of tears . Tears should be saved for my own dear people . Do you understand , Th? "

" 9.1.69
Bon is 21 years old this year . He has suffered 7 times of injury when fighting in battle . That young scout and also platoon leader gave me unforgetable impression and feeling .
I met Bon for the first time when he had to go to hospital with a small injury in foot . A few days later , when the wound hadn't completely healed , Bon came out of hospital . And more than one month later , I greeted Bon again in hospital . The wound in articulation made him loose so much blood that he was pale and exhausted.
But right after the surgery , when he came round , the naughty smile appeared again on his pallid lips . It was such a hurt trauma , but Bon didn't lament , he was just worried about one thing : Can he fight any more ? Everytime , I visited him , I quietly fondled the young wounded soldier's hair and told Bon : Feel secure , surely you will be able to hold the gun and fight stably .
Once , I met Bon when he was operating , carrying the AK rifle on the shoulders . Taking notice of me from a distance , he jubilated , acclaiming :" Hello doctor , I want to report you that my arm is okay again ." And he gesticulated to show off with me that his articulation has worked normally . I put on my best smile when seeing his ruddy skin and the naughty smile of that liberation soldier .
Today , Bon has to come to hospital , with the very pale skin . He lay motionless and didn't moan . A leg was cut by the mine , his clothes were imbrued with blood . With the sense of responsibility and mercy , my fellows and I made our arduous effort . After amputating a leg , Bon smiled and said: " Now I can live with 80%"
But I myself still feel anxious because Bon lost too much blood . His pulse is still very fast 140-150 but there are much hope.
Finally , Bon couldn't recover . There was so much blood oozed from the wound that he didn't have enough energy . Bon! Our hometown land was saturated with your blood . Your blood flew on your way of fighting . Your heart stopped thumping so that our country's heart will forever thump .
Bon died . His eyes shut tightly as if he were falling into a sleep . Sitting next to Bon , I gently fondled his hair . I thought that he was still alive and my tears was dripping onto his hair . No! Bon hasn't died , Bon will still alive in my mind and the fellows who are fighting with him together in this life- and - death struggle.
The misery has come again and my vindictive hatred for the aggressors is now thousand , million times heavier. Looking at Bon , I stunned when thinking of my dear brothers who are wrestling day and night with the enemy , rushing into danger of the war . On these days , adversaries are attacking Pho Cuong very violently . Thuan has escaped death by an inch for some times ... Alas! When those bloodthirsty enemy still exists , we still have to suffer great misery . There is no better way than beating those rascal's heads soundly. "

SORRY FOR THIS MISTAKE . I POSTED MY TRANSLATION IN ANOTHER FORUM AND NOW , I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT DANG THUY TRAM , SO I POST THE SECOND TIME IN HERE . THANKS FOR READING

"19.1.69
A beautiful afternoon sun on Sunday . The wind is rising in the old forest . The radio station is broadcasting the international music program . Sitting in a small room , I feel that this scenery is so peaceful . Suddenly , I forget all about the bomb , bullet , fire and sword , all about death and grief . Within my soul , there is only boundless inspiration with the piece of music .
I don't know if it is blamable or laudable . It is blamable because I forget the continuous pangs of my nation , the crime of bloodthirsty predator who keeps trampling upon my native soil . However , it is laudable because from myriads of hardship , I am still throbing with emotion in the optimistic hope of vitality . It is the fresh hope within my soul .
Dear Phuong ,in the North , do you usually feel painful when looking at the parting scenery in every Vietnamese house ? Here , I feel a hundred thousands times clearer about that sad situation . But I still hope that both you and I will not loose the joy and dream in our hearts . Be as we used to be before , my dear sister! And on Sunday afternoon , we will listen to the international music program together , and we will always write down on our diaries . Life is still dreamlike even when bombs are continuously falling around us ."

"13.3.69
One more fellow has lain down . He had a wound through the belly . After the surgery , his condition is not good but worse . May be because of the internal bleeding , when the unfound shell fragment cut the blood vessel . Holding a consultation , all of people don't agree with operating again . But I myself hesitated .Finally , he died -his death made me think a lot . Why did he die ? Because of my demur ? May be . If I were determined , at least in 100% hope of existence , he could have had 10% . I followed the tail of the mass , skipping a should-be-done work .
He died . In his *** pocket is a small notebook that contains some pictures of a girl with charming smile , and a letter telling about her faithful expectation . There is also a handkerchief embroidered with a line :" WAITING FOR YOU " . Alas ! The girl in the rear ! Your lover will never come back . Your mourning head-band you will have to wear on your young hair is the result of the crime of killers - The American imperialism . And my regret , I'm a doctor who didn't rescue him when I was able to do ! "

"19.3.69
Yesterday , we attacked the enemy in Duc Pho . The whole area was burnt in our army's vindictive hatred fire . One of the martyrs was Luc - a wounded soldier who had recovered and continued fighting . Luc died on the first belligerent days after convalescing . In my eyes now is clearly the picture of a boy with intelligent eyes and a consistent countenance . Luc usually carried red *** which had a line : " Swear to die voluntarily for the life of native land ."And the warm singing usually resounded in afternoons : " How beautiful our country is , in the bright moonlight when the cloud is flying around our feet ..."
Luc ! Did you die? Why is your singing still resounding behind my ears ? And why is your handwriting in letters you wrote to me still so fresh ? You are like Bon , Khiem , like heros sacrificing their lives for the victorious future . All of you will still be alive in my mind and in our people's soul . "
* red tie is like the small flag wore by Vietnamese pioneers .

"28.4.69
Although we prepared before , when the event occured , there are still unsucess and difficulties . This morning , followed by the opinion of steering commitee yesterday , all of serious wounded soldiers have move into another area. Because we think that the enemy may scour the infirmary.
Earlier than 6 o'clock , I urged fellows to bring wounded soldiers . And I also carried lots of things along with them . Carrying over the slope , people's sweat was dripping on their cheeks - but can't linger to wait until it dried up . I encouraged them to come back and carried the last 3 injuried soldiers left behind .
After nearly one and a half hour later , some salvos exploded very closely . I thought mentally enemy might come to the infirmary so I decided to warn so that soldiers could get ready . Not having done that ,I was told by the ethnic guerilla that enemy had come to the ditch . People run away straight forward .
The whole force having task to carry wounded hadn't come here . There are 5 cases left but there is only me , Tam and some students . " Can't leave injured soldiers , try our best to carry them , my fellows !"- I said in a divided mind when opposite to me were some pale and skinny teenagers . The circumstance was much more dangerous when Tam and Quang ran towards me and informed that enemy had come nearer - at the stream .
Some cases moved , but there was Kiem - a soldier who was having femur fracture . Not being able to manage , I called a student named Ly to carry him together . Kiem was so big and heavy that 2 women couldn't lift him .We made our arduous effort but could just drag him out of the house . Leaving him alone , I had to go and call some more fellows . Luckily , I met Minh , Co . But they were loosing their breath , announcing that the enemy had shot down Van - an injured soldier . We trailed Kiem and run away , jumping into a pit to hide .
One hour later , we gathered together all of wounded soldiers - just lack of Van only . As for revolutionary cadres , there were 9 comrades absent .
We decided to move to Ho Sau to take advantage of the terrain and food of the 120 unit like our plan the day before .
The displacement was mighty miserable . It may be as unfortunate as the other times our infirmary was bombed and ambushed , but more arduous because we couldn't rely on anyone . Some ailing comrades that never carried wounded soldiers previously had to get a task to carry one case , wandering up hill and down dale to move into the new location .
Weary , hungry and trembling , but my comrades and I were extremely calm. Because we have grown up after some fierce years .
At 4 o'clock , we moved into our location .
And when the night came , the forest was inundating with moonlight . After asking after my wounded soldiers who didn't have any serious change , I came back , lying and comtemplating the brillian moonlight . I couln't think .
Full 2 years . Also in the April , also in the moon season , I undertook a task in Duc Pho when the infirmary had been destroyed after the bombed . It's April again ... Sunshine in the South is always intense . And my disgust is as intense as that sunshine in summer . This afternoon , standing on the top of a high mountain , I watched the old infirmary going up in smoke and my eyes dewed with tears . So much perspiration and effort , so much wealth of people who had saved to support injured soldiers , now it was burnt to the ground ! What can I say , my comrades ! What can I say except a muttable philosophy of a Vietnamese " There is no better way than beating so that there will be no more an American invader existing in our country . "

" 18.5.69
The fighting situation is continuous , day and night , the shot was still resounding , the sound of helicopter is still screaming in the space and every night the rockets are still blazing in the sky . The war is more and more violent , our soldiers are lying in the battle , lethal weapons , broiling sun and smoke make their skins tanned . The liberation soldiers ! In myriads of peril and danger , you are the people who have to undergone most . Your blood penetrates into the flag and the soil you are protecting . At this time , I feel more poignant than ever about your heroic sacrifice . How holy ... I know that many of you come from the North . And there are also many people who have had peaceful day and set food in this fierce scene recently . Last time , I met some very young scouts . They must be secondary students who have left the pens and got the rifle to be against the American soldiers , preserve our country ."

Helo Silver Rainbow,

I find your posts moving. It shows that it was human beings fighting on both sides, each imbued with their ideals. And it shows how pointless this whole war was.

Incidentally, I believe the lady writing the diary might have gotten into trouble with the authorities after the war, considering her questioning nature. But (if your translations are true to the letter) she does have a sense of poetry. I would like to know more.

And I would like to visit Vietnam one day.

Greetings, silverrainbow & a warm welcome to A2K!

Many thanks for taking the time to post from Dang Thuy Tram's diary.
It is very moving to read & certainly an interesting record of the Vietnamese side of that shameful war.

Actually , Dang thuy tram was a martyr . After her death , Fred received her 2 diaries . After 30 years , he came back to give the diary back to dang thuy tram's mother . He wasn't hated by the Vietnamese. On contrary , he was greeted in our deep grattitude . He regret about his fault and the american army 's fault for many years . So it's time to tolerate

http://www.vietnam.ttu.edu/vietnamcenter/diary/
this is the place where you can download the whole translation of Dang Thuy Tram's diary . This is one of the reasons why a small country like Vietnam defeated a huge country like the USA . Thank you for reading