i need help

to me it sounds like you really arent over this guy+thats what's causing you the upset. have you tried to get out more to take your mind off him??? Make new friends, spend more time with your current friends, take up a hobby???
i know its hard when you've made so many plans together, as it feels like you've sealed the relationship with these hopes and dreams, but sometimes these things dont work out!!

yes ive tried dating new people Ive made so many new friends and im with people all the time its jsut for some reason i cant forget about him as much as i know i should

i mean its like I cant even picture my life with out him and it doesnt matter how mean he is to me i just want him to be holding my hand..

i know its hard, and to be honest i dont know how you can do it, but you really need to forget him. unfortunately things aren't going to happen now with him! i know this is incredibly hard to accept, but its something that will take time. Time is the greatest healer!

how long do you think this tiem is going to be because i dotn think this is a normal length in time

i mean I tell my self every hour i na day you need to stop doing this to your self because its only going to make it more miserable, and everytiem I attempt to forget a memory just comes to play or he calls me or something happens. Any ideas on how to forget?!

maybe you're trying to hard! by thinking every hour about stopping thinking about him, you are actually thinking about him. its your subconscious mind working here. It could take any amount of time, but i dont think him ringing you is helping. does he know you're still hung up on him, despite his new relationship??? If not, maybe you need to tell him, and ask him not to contact you for a period of time! you may feel more in control that way!

yeah he knows and he has now girl friend now or anything and we agreed to stay friends. At one time I said hey can we just stop being friends for a while so I can get thrtough this well it was put in a nicer way but he took it all wrong and that made things worse. I just dont know how to think about someone ealse?!

dont force yourself to think about another relationship, as you clearly arent ready. I think you need to speak to him again about the calling issue, and if he wont comply then maybe have his number blocked temporarily? When he rings you, what does he say??

I dont know just your usuall friend to friend stuff. LIke how are you? and whats new? things like that or when he needs help with something. I mean in some conversations we talk about moving on and how we are doing with all fo this and I tlel him how I still feel but I also tell him the other people Ive tried dating because hes sharing the same. THen he gets all like so the new guys so and so. Well I would be like umm no it didnt work out and then hed try and tell me that it did. When these conversations come up they never end up well.I mean I finally realised as you said I cant force myself into another relationship. I just wished I had figured that out earlier. I just wish there was a way to help me go throught this time more easiley, with less pain. YOu know?!

#1, type in paragraphs and punctuation because a lot of people won't read your post if it's one giant paragraph without a period or comma in sight. It is extremely hard to decipher.

#2, you sound very young. How old are you?

This relationship is over. It will never be what it was and you need to quit dreaming and come back to the real world. Loving doesn't guarantee they will love you back. You said that you "know you are suppose to grow old together" but it doesn't sound that it is meant to be. If so, you will find each other in the future and you can spark up the relationship again. But be warned that as you get older you change and grow and you will not be the same people you are now.

Mourning a relationship is normal. Crying for over a year is not. If you can't get yourself together by yourself, you need to seek professional help. The world does not stop for a broken heart nor does the world care. As harsh as that sounds, it's life and it's something you learn to deal with.

You should be happy that he is alive and healthy and rejoice in the fact that he is trying to make the best life he can for himself. When does he say I love you? When does he talk about marriage? Do you initiate this conversation? Is it over the phone or in person?

I have no doubt that he is confused and doesn't want to hurt you but that he is over this relationship. He's moved on and because you haven't, he is unable to fully let go.

If you want my advice, it's to let this poor guy go and move on. You and he both deserve better than a touch and go luke warm love life.

Bella Dea,
I am sorry about the punctuation; im not the typing kind of girl. I am seventeen and I just wanted to come on and ask for imput on how to get through this time period, I know it most likel;y sound sreally weird but Ive been going through this for over a year now, and I just was wondering if any one had any ideas on how to get through this. I mean this whole entire expirence alone has put me through severe depression and my life is not the same. I am sorry if I confused you, or anything to that extent. I am working on moving on, because I know that fate will bring me to whats supposed to happen. Its just I wanted to know if anyone had any ideas in the mean time. D oyou know?! Maybe I am way to young to be talking in here but it was worth a try.

you arent too young at all to be here. was this your first relationship??? have you considered councilling at all, as bella dea suggested?

You don't sound weird. But you do sound young and idealistic. Which is not always a bad thing. We have all been where you are, even if you don't believe that.

However, you need to realize that life isn't always what we want it to be. Like John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

If you are depressed, you need to see someone. It's nothing to mess around with and the likely cause of your depression is not necessarily the breakup but rather something chemical in your brain. The chemical imbalance can be thrown off by a traumatic event and sometimes we need to re-adjust that chemical balance with drugs. And by drugs I don't mean pot. I mean antidepressants. Sometimes they put you on them for a very short time to get the seratonin going again. Only a doctor can tell you so I suggest that you get a therapist. Or at the very least, talk to your physician about it.

Don't think you don't belong here. A2K is for everyone. I just wanted to make you aware that it's tough to read your posts.

I forgot to welcome you here. I don't mean to be mean. I am just a very straightforward, blunt person. :wink:

You are absolutly right about the whole chemical imbalence thing.

Ive been to about four different counsolers in the past month, and this event was what set my depression off. As you said this breakup wasnt the whole creation of this.

Its a good thing that I am not too young for this because I am all new to this kind of thing. I am open to all the ideas people throw out at me so I thought maybe I could get some better imput with out being completely judged.

Thanks for the imput on how to write my posts by the way! I think I am using a little too much of the AIM. Dont think that I am all upsett over your last message either though, because it wasnt really mean or anything. YOu were just trying to help. I am as blunt as they get usually believe it or not, so I hear where you are comeing from on that. I am glad you told me though becuase I most likely would still be writting in the same format.


This is most definitly not my first relationshipe either though. I have had many others, some good and some bad, btu I dont think I would take back any of them. I did learn from every expirience, but with this oone this first time I saw him walk into my eyes my heart dropped. It was like verdigo or somethign. It was a brand new feeling that I wish I could expirience alot more of.

plus Id liek to thank you for helping me out in all. I dont know if you do that hear or not but what ever I still am.

First off, welcome to A2K foxmoto! It's a great place to ask questions about anything at all, and it's fun just to goof off here too, so stick around...

Second, thanks for the paragraph breaks, bella isn't wrong in telling you that many here will skip your posts if they're too hard to read!

And last, I just want to tell you that you sound very much like me at 17. I had all kinds of romantic ideas that I'd met (or would meet someday) THE ONE right guy and that I could tell we're meant to be by just a look, etc. Well, I thought that about six different times and nothing came of any of 'em!... lol...

But I was also prone to severe depression (the worst one was at 17-19, off and on), and that made me desperate to believe that I had found my soulmate, who could help heal me and take away all the pain I was in. I know now looking back that the depression made me tell myself that if I could find that perfect guy, things would get better. It was easier to focus on that than on what was wrong inside.

It took a few years of struggle for me to get past my dependency issues, depression, etc...But I did it all alone and it probably would have been faster and easier if I'd gone to talk to a therapist, which I wish I would have. But, now I'm 26 and it's taken time but I am happy in myself and no longer need to search for a relationship that will heal me. It's a much better place to be, because there's so much less pressure on your relationships when you do have them.

I think you said you are talking to counsellors; stick with that. I know it's hard to believe right now, but it sounds to me like your depression is what is making you think that you can't be happy without this guy. Give it time and you'll look back on it and see it more clearly, like I can do now about my past. It feels so real at the time, but you will do better to let go than to keep telling yourself that you have some magical connection with this guy. Keep in touch!