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Sat 7 Jan, 2006 09:25 am
Hey everyone out there I am writting today to ask for you help I lost my man just yesterday he says he loves me and to let him think if he wants to be with me or not. How could I let it get this way? What was I doing wrong is what I was asking myself ? Then I was finally told that the love I want is all about me I never seen it that way I had always seen it as all about him what do I do Im so lost and confused all I want is him to know that I love him and to come back to me is that a bad thing to ask for? I mean can someone explain to me if he loves me so much then why it so wrong for him to be with me?HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
There's a million stories in the Naked City.
Yours is one of them.
Quote:Then I was finally told that the love I want is all about me I never seen it that way I had always seen it as all about him
It sounds like you might have been a bit clingy and dependant.
Well you haven't given us much to go on, maybe he doesn't like run on sentences?
I admit that i might have been a
little clingy but all i wanted is for him to be happy and for him to know I love him. How would i get through to him to let him know that I dont want what we have to end, all I want is to have him right beside me at night so i can cuddle with the person that makes me so happy everyday from day one. Come on all you guys all of you are bitter sweet when it comes to Love you know that if you were a woman and you lost your love you would never be the same right?
First off, I am a woman.
Part of growing up is loving and losing and never being the same.
Spending your days trying to make someone else happy always backfires.
Thank you whoever you are you are a very kind person with the heart of gold but my last question is this if i told him all my feelings and he belived them do you think he would come back to me?
Boomerang is right. You don't get adult wisdom from age, you get it from your experiences that you hopefully have more of with age. Holding onto love takes practice, and it's natural to make mistakes that cause you to lose it
stillababygirl wrote:Thank you whoever you are you are a very kind person with the heart of gold but my last question is this if i told him all my feelings and he belived them do you think he would come back to me?
He probably already knows your feelings. But his feelings are equally important. If he doesn't feel for you what you feel for him, you will only be hurt more by staying with him
Honestly I'd have to say "No".
It is a lot of work to be someone's EVERYTHING. It's exhausting and draining and overwhelming.
I think if he could see you trying to make yourself happy and being interested in the world beyond him and being fine with not knowing where he is every minute because you trust him enough to not be "right beside me at night so i can cuddle with the person that makes me so happy everyday" then he might come back.
stuh is right - his feelings count too. I imagine he feels a bit smothered.
Thank you Boomerang and Stuh your right i should have trusted him way more than I did and I should of realized that i was being a little controllin I shouldnt need him beside me every 5 secs.His feelings do matter to me and if i get him back Ill be happy once again, But if not thats ok too i guess. My hope is that if I do get him back to give him his freedom and let him know that I trust him and there isnt anything I would do for him Thank you Guys. Does that seem like a better thing to do if i do get him back?
It won't "work" if it is just some "plan" to get him back. This is stuff you have to live every day and if you don't mean it that will be clear.
It would be lovely if we could snap our fingers and change overnight but it really isn't the truth about human nature.
I have to agree with boomerang. If it's just a plan to get him back, it won't work.
Give him some space. Don't call him. Don't contact him. Take the time to reflect honestly about your part in all of this. If it's meant to be, it will be. If it's not, well, there is someone else out there.
I know that doesn't make the pain any easier for you and I am sorry for that. But, if you are the clingy type, the worst thing you can do is not give him this space he's obviously needing right now.
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