Reply
Wed 4 Jan, 2006 04:39 am
There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my d*ck," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."
The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
Ellpus, have you snorted something enlivening tonight?
dlowan wrote:Ellpus, have you snorted something enlivening tonight?
Nope....it's morning over here, and as you can see, I'm hard at work after the Christmas holidays......
So he gets into the Docs, who gives him a thorough examination. During the rubber glove part, he notices a strand of lettuce poking out of the man's bottom, and mentions it to the old gent.
"Is it something I should worry about?" asks the old man.
"Well, it's something that I will keep an eye on", replies the Doc " as it could be the tip of the iceberg."
Ellpus.
I say it again.
You're frightening me.
One would think a lapine friend, even one from the Antipodes, would appreciate a good lettuce joke . . . now, had the old gentleman been a gypsy, the reference could have been to romaine . . .
The Doctor then asked him if there was anything else troubling him and the man asked if the Doc could give him something for persistent wind.
The Doc gave him a kite.
He on a roll . . .
The Doctor asked him if he'd been using the suppositories which had been prescribed.
He said: "Oh, for all the good those damned things did me, i might as well have shoved them up me arse."
"And now for some general questions.....how's your libido?" asked the Doc "When did you last have sex?"
"1959" said the old man.
"That's a long time ago" replied the Doc.
"Not really" said the old man "It's only 20.53 now so it's less than an hour"
Old guy staggers into a police station, and tells the sergeant at the desk:
I was walkin' through the park, and three young women threw me down, ripped off my pants, and had their way with me ! ! !
Geeze, Old Timer, that's wild . . . when did this happen?
1947 . . . but i still like to talk about it . . .
While he's there, he tells the desk sargeant how he's been using his wife's hormone cream on his head, thinking it was hair restorer.
He takes his cap off and the sargeant immediately notices that he has grown a large breast on the top of his bald head.
"What the bloody hell do I do now?" asks the old gent.
"Why not paint it blue and join the London police force" replies the sargeant.
A lady walks into the doctor's office and says, "there's something wrong with my D*ck."
The receptionist is momentarily flustered, and before she can think of something to say the woman continues, "Richard! Richard! Where are you?"
The receptionist is relieved as a gentleman, obviously the lady's husband, approaches.
"What seems to be the malady?" She asks.
"Richard, show her your penis."
Is that why they're called Boobies?
Robert Peel founded the metropolitan police . . . history is mute on his opinion of breasticles . . . the term is "Bobbies," you know, "Bobbie" Peel . . .
Lord Ellpus wrote:I'm hard at work....
Maybe a little saltpetre would help? :wink:
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace