Afraid my new relationship will turn out like my last one

I sure don't know, qt. I've met a fair number of women that came up with something similar to one of my exes, and I ran like hell, every time. That's not advice - just me.

About the best friend, well, girls tend to blab. Sometimes it comes back to haunt you. It's a girl thing.

Okay, the first mistake was not giving up your virginity to your ex-boyfriend, as that's water under the bridge. The real error was in telling your friend.

Tell her that it bothers you to talk about it, and that you want to drop it as a topic of conversation -- your virginity, her virginity, the Pope's virginity, whosever virginity you've been talking about. Tell her that it bothers you. And stick to your guns, don't bring it up, don't go along with it if it's about anyone else, just don't talk about it.

If she's a real friend, she'll get it and drop the topic. If she persists, she's a jerk and you're better off without her.

As for your current boyfriend versus your ex, I am assuming -- am I correct in this assumption -- that he is different from your ex. I mean, why would you dip from the same poisoned well, right? If he's different, you can assume that things will turn out differently. But maybe they won't. No one can predict the future. All you can do is to do your best to control your own life and your own destiny. If he (your current boyfriend) is a great guy, he'll be patient with you and respect what you do.

You're not stupid, you're not damaged and you don't necessarily have bad judgment. You just made a mistake. Washing a color sock with the white laundry was a mistake, too, but it's past. This is just another mistake. It's done. It's over. Let it go. If your friend or your boyfriend rub it in, they are not doing you any favors. But if you are rubbing it in, you are obsessing. But the good news is that you can control your own thoughts. Even in this area.

Youtooqt--

Welcome to A2K.


Your friend has made a choice to save her virginity for marriage. Why do you suppose she feels that this very personal decision is worth discussing over and over with you? Is she being a bit of a bitch, using you to bolster her own spirituality?

Personally, I think that physical virginity is a spiritually inflated state. Virgins were offered as sacrifices because they were less valuable than women of proven fertility.

So you made a mistake. You misjudged a man. You didn't marry him or have children by him. You're heartsore, but the other consequences are minor.

Of course you want to avoid another mistake. Of course you have a few self doubts. You're human.

Relax and let healing take place. This new man may be perfect for you--or you may be better off with someone else. Relax.