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I love you Your perfect Now change!

 
 
Cola
 
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2005 12:52 am
I recently broke off a wedding engagement
when I realized that my fiance and I were suffocating
one another with expectations.

(Granted there are compromises, adjustments to be made
for the health of the relationship... )

...You're a strong-willed skilled decision maker
but she wants you to discuss every decision with her
that directly or indirectly affects her, Science Diet or Purina
ground turkey or sirloin?

...but, at his request, are you willing to bypass the pinot noir
with your salmon dinner (even when he's not around)
because it offends him for religious reasons? Drunk

I drew the line when I saw physical signs of stress, and ruin Arrow

So, where do You draw the line?
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2005 01:12 am
Where do you draw the line? When you can't find yourself anymore.

When you are first in love, of course, the object of your affections is perfect! And they think you are perfect too. But, as time goes on, we start seeing everything and not just what we want to see.

Oftentimes the thing that attracted us the most in the beginning is the thing we grow tired of first. It takes understanding, patience, and lots of acceptance to make any relationship work.

I hope everything goes well for you!
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Cola
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2005 02:25 pm
Momma Angel-

so true. I was most attracted to his spirituality, His love for God. But sure enough, that ended up being what wrecked my nerves. He started spiritualizing everything, if I came to him with a concern, he would relate is to a parable. He used the bible to divert uncomfortable topics. Finally I said, "I'm not talking about Ruth and Naomi, I'm talking about us! And your not hearing me!" But it was to no avail.
Thanks for the feedback.


Anyone else had a relationship derail because of pressures to change?
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Arella Mae
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Dec, 2005 08:57 pm
Cola,

Oh boy, can I relate to that! Though our Christianity is supposed to be the main thing in in our life, we still have to live in this world and with other people. I don't like it when my husband does that over analyzing thing, either. I want to hear what HE has to say concerning us.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Dec, 2005 04:04 pm
Cola--

A man like your ex-fiance could probably set the angels yawning. He sounds more interested in Being Spiritual than Being In Love.
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Cola
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Dec, 2005 06:49 pm
Noddy- Smile Sometimes I did feel more like his congregation than his wife-to-be.

I am slow to date again. I got a late start in dating men, it's a challenge. The ones I've dated seem to be so concerned with image ...their image and subsequently my image (not so much physically, but in other ways). Maybe I just don't know how to pick em' Very Happy
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Sat 24 Dec, 2005 08:40 pm
Cola--

Back in the '70's when I found myself Single Again, the watchword was, "To find Prince Charming, you have to kiss a lot of frogs."

First you kiss them all. Then you start listening for the nuances of the croaks.

You were meant for a partner, not an audience.

Hold your dominion.
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Cola
 
  1  
Reply Sun 25 Dec, 2005 09:27 pm
Thanks Noddy, I appreciate it.
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maddendominata
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Jan, 2006 07:42 pm
I agree
I think that your ideal mate is someone that you like as a WHOLE. Of course everyone has faults it's just that the whole you like should overshadow them to such an extent they become miniscule to the point they are overlooked and accepted without change.
In essence, the one you spend the rest of your life with should LOVE you as is. Otherwise how else did you fall in love?
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