Reply
Sat 17 Dec, 2005 09:11 pm
I've been friends with this guy for just about a year now. We're not close friends, but we used to work together and what not. I stop in to see all of my friends at my old job quite often, him included. It's been about 7 months since we worked together. Lately though he's been calling me all the time asking me to hang out. If I say no, he just suggests something else we could do instead, etc, etc until I give in. He calls me every day, offers to do things for me, take me places, this and that. Now he's a great guy and everything, a little too old, and totally not my type. He's a great friend, but there is just no chance it can go further. I don't feel I have led him on. I know he's been lonely for quite a long time now. I don't want to break his heart, or make him feel bad, or hurt. I know he'll understand if i told him i'm not interested. But I just don't know how to tell him. It's going to hurt him regardless, but it will hurt him more if this keeps carrying on. I hope I don't sound like an evil woman, but I need some help here. Any advise on how to let him down gently would be great. Thank you.
No. It can't be done. Just tell him you're not interested. This is a case to do whatever's best for yourself.
I speak as a man-- quick, direct, honest is the best approach. It shows him respect and gets it over with.
If he is interested in you it's going to hurt. We can deal with it and we don't want you to worry about us. If you don't drag it out it he will get over it over a beer or two.
We hate being felt sorry for.
Well, thank you Stand Up For Pessimism, for posting this here so that I might find it. I realize that my calls and constant cravings for your attention are foolish and clingy, but I can't help it. I want to be near you, even though I now see that you do not feel the same way. I knew it was a longshot, but I thought maybe, if I just...well, anyway, I just want you to know that I understand. I will no longer darken your doorway.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a drink. Gimme that bottle, ebrown! And quit looking at me like that!
Thanks guys....kicky....if only it were that easy....
kickycan wrote:Now, if you'll excuse me, I need a drink. Gimme that bottle, ebrown! And quit looking at me like that!
Gonna to drown your sorrows in a bottle of warm milk, eh?
Hello pessimism,
Begin your conversation with these firm, grave words: "I'd like for you to stop calling me." Let him be the next one to talk after that.
That will be the toughest moment for both of you in the conversation; after that, you can help him recover his ego with all that "you're a great guy" crap without the risk of him not getting what you're saying.
It sounds like he's not that perceptive if he's calling you everyday and you feel that there's no chemistry whatsoever. Being firm and up front is really the best thing you can do.
You should also take into account, that if he really cares about your friendship, even if he is hurt by your lack of interest, he'll eventually get over it. And if not, it's his loss.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace