Finding The Wrong Guys In The Wrong Places!

Try looking in the library of your local University.

If you're at a university, look to clubs. If someone's active in a club, they are choosing to do something other than partying and hooking up, and so it's more likely that they aren't that kind of person, right? So maybe you'll have a better shot there.

Ok I don't go to school so I wouldn't have a reason to go to a library. I am not really into the whole library scene. But thank you for your suggestions

Perhaps part of your problem is your 'scene'.

And who says you have to go to school to go hunting in a library?

I heard a rumour that libraries have something useful in them

shortygurl - about how old are you and what do you like to do for fun. I'll see if I can zero in on a good guy meeting place for you. I'm a pretty good Yenta.

well, in europe, or rather in central europe, it would be an irish pub. that's because that's a place where many guys go after work, and that single girls avoid. girls go to sleazy overpriced cocktail bars where you can only find equally sleazy men. but in irish bar you can have a genuine conversation (unless the male has passed the conversation stage and is just wobbling left to right) without all that pretense, heavy makeup, and expectations-soaked atmosphere...
then again, you may find a lousy drunkard. ya just never know.

'Course you met Bob last night. He is single. But there is that pesky age difference thing. Hmmm.



Actually, nice guys (and gals) tend to hang around in, well, nice places -- like they take classes, they volunteer, they go to the gym, they go to the park or common, they go to museums, that kind of thing.

Hey shorty.
From my own experience, the decent guys are easier to find when I am just going about my own thing. And, it is easier to get into a conversation and ask a guy out when I am in a place where I shine. I'm a bit of a geek (in a good way) and so I like libraries, coffee houses, the gym, going to the park, I volunteer at a community center (this is a hidden trove of good men, I tells ya! And nice interesting people in general. Not to mention the connections you make).

Basically, there are decent guys almost anywhere. Once again, it comes down to whether YOU are being your best and normal self. That's the best way to go about it.

Good luck. If you're still wondering, take Green Witch up on her offer. I have a feeling she knows what she is doing.

This may sound a little stupid but... Go and sign up for some of the non-credit courses at your local community college. Not math or science classes but things like carpentry, welding, plumbing, auto care, etc..

Most of the people in the classes will be guys and they'll be guys that aren't spending all their time (and money) on beer.

Even if you don't meet someone you'll pick up a few life skills that you'll be able to use down the road.

I am 19 and I like to go shopping, be with my friends, I have alwasy wanted to go to a club but haven't been to one yet. I also like to write, I love the beach and that's normally where I have met a lot of people as well as school when I was in school but obiously where it's winter there is no going to the beach.Hmm I'm not sure what else I like to do I am up for almost anything. I was actually thinkin about going to the gym. I'm not really the outdoor type well not in the winter anyways.

You are not going to meet men shopping, and if you do they are gay.

I also like the idea of taking a college course, that's where you will meet men with some ambition. Just being on campus improves your chances of meeting someone.

Do you have any career goals? Take courses that would lead you in that direction. You mention writing (how do you do that without hanging out at libraries??)
How about a writing course? or a Journalism class? Some areas have groups of writers that get together and discuss what they are working on and give each other feedback. A local college or library might be able to put you in touch with such a group.

The gym is good, maybe the right guy would motivate you to be more athletic. Skip the yoga class and hang out in the weight room.

Clubs are fine in general, but they can also be a bit of meat market. Any coffee cafes around that have live music at night? Go and scout them out with a girlfriend.

I guess I'm gay then, because I bought some people Christmass presents this year



Agreed, but don'tforget that a sound portion of college kids are just there to party as well...don't ask me why...

I'm being flip Stuh. But let's face it - I doubt you checked out the women's shoe department to see the new heel heights or cosmetics for the latest trends in Ralph Lauren lip colors - that's what a 19 year old means when she says "shopping". I also doubt you cruise the malls on a regular basis just to see what's on sale.

Yeah, I knew you were being flip; I was being flip too. Of course, you're right, I don't cruise the malls checking for shoe sales, but you will still find guys there, so if she likes to go for shopping maybe she can luck out and find a good deal on a guy too. Oh, and there are guys who hang around malls...although they probably aren't good catches. There are also guys who will cruise the malls on a regular basis checking to see what video games are on sale!

You could spend every weekend between now and Christmas, 2006, hunting for elephants on the Boston Common, but your chances of bagging an elephant are pretty slim.

If you want a guy who isn't interested in the bar scene, you're not going to find him in a bar. A library or a college campus may seem like trackless wilderness to you, but you're going to find library-type, campus-type guys who are interested in much more than being spectacularly wasted on weekends.

2006 is shaping up to be a big election year. Decide on your party and sign up to help at campaign headquarters. There are many more male political junkies than female political junkies and quite possibly you could meet some men who'd rather think than drink.

Good luck.

Hey shortygurl - I may not be the best peson to give you advice on dating - my love life is pretty pathetic. But, I like the idea of you goign to a gym to meet people. Taking courses is another good way to meet people. I took a small motor repair course at a community college while in high school and it was a class with only one girl - me.

I am typing 'meet people' instead of 'meet guys' because even if you are just meeting friends, those friends will have friends..... or brothers.

Every person you meet, every stranger you get up the courage to talk to, makes it easier to meet men. This is something I learned from (yes, it's true!!!) Slappy. The more you talk to people, particularly to people where there is no big stake in the conversation (such as saying good morning to the mailman, or hi to someone walking their dog), the easier it will be to talk to someone where the stakes are high (I haven't used this to meet men, me being married and all that, but I have used it to get over some job interview shyness).

Boston U. used to (I bet it still does) offer night classes, and it also used to (I bet it still does) offer creative writing classes. If BU is too pricey, there are plenty of other schools around here, they all offer English classes even if they don't offer creative writing, per se. There's Wheaton, Simmons (a lot more women there, though), BC, UMass, etc. etc. etc.

Boston is the center of college students, etc. There are so many different ways to meet poeple, I think maybe you should honestly consider the extracurricular activities
Or go to a Starbucks where the college people hang out and bring your laptop or somehting and see what happens from there. I always notice people getting picked up in places like Starbucks - the local coffee shop generally attracts "normal" people, right?
Another thing, which I don't know if this is the direction you're willing to go in, is to try internet dating, some of them actually work (I have a couple of friends met that way and are now in a serious relationhsip)