He Called, I'm going crazy

Okay, I haven't really let this one go yet, and I really need to. Some of you may have read my other posts about this. I have an ex in France from Algeria, and I may have stayed with him if I were still in France. That's the brief. Well we haven't talked for a long time - a month or so - but he called today to tell me he misses my voice, that he misses me. To be fair, I think he only called because I sent him a message asking him why he hasn't contacted me in so long, if we are supposed to be still friends. I realize that was a stupid thing to do, but I did. And he called. And his voice seemed genuine.

I know that calling long-distance is expensive. And I often give him mixed signals about whether or not I want to be in contact with him. So maybe that's why he backed off. I know I need to let this one go. But I really cared for him - most of the time.

I'm going crazy. Everytime I try to forget him, I do something stupid like send a message, and then talk to him on the phone, or open old emails, or look at photos or video I had taken with my digital camera in France. And then I'm right back there again. And it has been almost a year since I met him, and a good eight months since I returned to the states. A four month courtship does not deserve eight months of misery after the fact. I need to forget!!! Ahhh!!!