5 Year Relationship Has Gone NOWHERE

There's loyalty, and then there's staying together because of emotional blackmail, whether real or imagined.

Most strong people, while saddened, could live with the end of a relationship. Most strong people want to be free of someone who no longer loves them, even if that hurts. But people who are not in a good position -- mentally ill, mourning a lost parent, physically ill, out of work, moving, going into the Army, changing jobs, you get the idea, people with major agita going on -- will crumple.

You need not sacrifice your own happiness for him, but at the same time, I'm sure you want to be kind. After all, you're not with someone for five years and come out wholly unaffected. Hmm. Does he have other friends in his life? Family? He may be clinging because there's no one else. And depressed people have trouble making friends. Can you help him with that? You're not responsible for his life. I just think this is a nice thing to do, if you can do it fairly quickly and without losing yourself in the process.

Re: 5 Year Relationship Has Gone NOWHERE


I guess breaking up is like ripping off a bandaid that's stuck on your pubic hairs. You can either pull it off really slowly, or you can rip it off. Either way it's got to come off, and either way you're going to lose some pubes.

Hurts like yours (pulling off a tape) will disappear in short order. Better a little pain now than to wait and make things worse later on.